Expectations and let downs

Being lonely is a part of life, right?

I had a good morning, really a great morning.  I was invited to the sweethearts breakfast at church and I sat by several good friends.  Then we had book club - we read Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet - which was amazing.  Inspirational, emotional, historically accurate, and encouraging.  Then between the library and the book store I got more books a few movies and a good day coming.

I'm excited for my shawl to be done and start another for our living history programs.  I'd really like to get some costumes that fit ME and look good for work too.  I'm working on a great tablecloth for my mom, I am almost done sewing, but I'd really like to hand quilt it.  =)

So lots to do and learn and think about, but still I just got hit with a bout of sadness and loneliness.  I have so many in my life that love me.  My church here in Ohio is wonderful.  My family has really begun to accept me for who I am.  I have wonderful friends.  But there are others in my life who have let me down from my original expectations - you know?  I've been told I give a lot to those in my life.  My time, my energy, my love.  Without seeming to want anything in return... but I beg to be loved.  A note, a hug, a comment, just walking with me - something to let me know that you see me here.  Just trying to fulfill my calling and my purpose.

Sometimes I just wonder about having expectations for relationships.  Is there anyway to avoid the hurt when things don't turn out the way you'd like?  Is this just life?  I have expectations that when I love others - hopefully some of them will love me back.  I try to rest in the knowledge that the creator of the world loves me more than I can imagine and has more for me than I can ever know.  Yet sometimes I find myself wishing for that human love.  To have the physical touch of someone holding you.

Someday.  God willing.

~We can not do great things.  Only small things with great love.  - Mother Teresa

For know, I will rejoice in who I am and the lover of my soul.

In peace and love,
your sister in Christ~Erin