Support

Sometimes I feel needy. . . do you ever feel that way? I know I need something, but I'm too afraid or too proud to ask. We all need friends. True, close, honest friends. The ones who you know don't mind a phone call at 2 am, or in the middle of class because you need them. But why do i feel sometimes afraid to ask? We all say, call anytime. . . stop in anytime. . . don't worry about it. . . but do we question comments like these? I love this poem:

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow,
don't walk behind me, i may not lead,
Just walk beside me and be my friend. -Camus

Many times I can't articulate my needs. Many times we don't think it's important enough to bother anyone about. Many times, i'm scared they will freak out. God offers constant support, is always there, and will always be there. But the thing I like about this poem is that i'm not asking you anything. I am answering your question. YOU asked, where do you want me? I guess that's how i view most relationships. I know what I want to get out of it, I know what i need to get out of it, but what about you? what do you want? Do you truely want to help, or just be around? God always says, I want to help you through this, how do you need me. Well . .. i need support. We all do. I encourage every Christian to create a support group amoung them. Wesley used to organize groups he labled classes. You had to go, and you had to share. You were help accountable. Create a space where you are comfortable and find people who will keep you accountable. We need support to grow, or we will crumble. God Bless!

Ecclesiastes 4:11-12
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Your sister in Christ,
Erin

Schedule God too

I know I've been busy, but being sick last week (hospital sick) kinda reminded me of an old lesson sometimes i just haven't learned yet. Schedule God too. So often I get so busy, often with things i try to explain as "out of my control" and i simply run out of time. Homework, church, music things, finacial things, work, all of these things take time and often demand the time I have, but I do the deciding and in the end it is me who gives my time. When I don't give enough time for God every day, i find myself slipping. Maybe it's not a big deal today, or tomorrow, or even next week, but in a month or two months i soon find I have left my God time for church.

You can't expect to meet God at church if we do not meet him daily. We gather at church to celebrate God's godness, to tell him, hey - you are amazing and i thank you for that. If we don't have him in our lives not only do we fall apart but we can't say "God you're amazing" truely, we don't really know him. And the refocusing doesn't happen, nor do we feel better. Church becomes another thing on our to do list. We are missing the joy and the goodness. We are missing the hugs and the refreshment our souls need. When I forget this, and i miss it, my body fights on for awhile, then bad things pile up. All the sudden it just seems like everything is due and nothing is done. My soul just isn't feed, and I am not in an attitude to let God help. I must do it. This is pride. Then i fall. Most often it is me getting sick (like i was last week) where I am forced for at least a day to rest. Sometimes it is me relapsing to some of my old "bad habits". Stress coping things i used to do, my cutting, or my ED (eating disorder), things that I can control when I feel my world out of control.

I am coming into this monday head on, ready and rested with God by my side. Writing my schedule for the week, and including prayer and quiet time with God. Make sure you smile alot, and take the time to rest with God.