So my mind has been digesting the scripture from last Sunday for a few days... in the lectionary it was Good Shepard Sunday. Beautiful imagery of Jesus chilling out in a nice grove of woods with a bunch of sheep. New testament lesson John 10:1-10. I am the shepard, I am the gate.
I struggle a lot with this verse. It rubs me the wrong way. Did Jesus really say that? "The only way to the father is through me." Are my devout, loving, Jewish/Hindu/Muslim friends deceived?
That's the hard question here.
If you read the scripture literally - yes.
But I love this line from Barbara Streisand's movie "Yentel". - "Why would God have given me a mind, if not to ask the question WHY?" (and am incredibly excited for the opportunity to go to seminary to explore the question why - even if I only encounter more questions...)
So a friend gently reminded me to look further into the verse. Written by John... sounds a little more like Mark, and written approximately 70 years after Jesus was crucified. So I'm pretty sure that John wasn't there taking notes. Past down information from others through generations (image of a game of telephone here) can still keep the general theme of message, or turn it into something completely different. I do firmly believe that everyone involved with the passing down of church tradition, stories, and the writing of holy scripture did their absolute best - yet they are still human and imperfect.
Now I have read 2 Timothy 3:16 - "All scripture is God breathed." But my mind implores me to go further and not just take that as it is. (I recognize that I often get criticized for over-thinking.... but this is how my mind works and I take it as a blessing) Paul wrote this in a letter to Timothy - encouraging him and reminding him about the holy texts that he had been practically raised reading. I don't believe Paul had any intention of his letters (to Timothy or other believers) becoming HOLY SCRIPTURE. Yet we base a lot of our daily christian lives on what Paul says... dare I say instead of what the gospels say Jesus said?
Yet this argument is circular (sorry) did Jesus really say that? What do I do with scripture that seems to be out of character for the God that I am trying to get to know? I am not trying to make God into what I want God to be. That's not fair... but way to easy. It's like becoming infatuated with a person that you only meet a few times and have little contact with, when you don't have that regular contact to get to know them, it's so much easier for them to be perfect in your eyes. You make them into whatever you want.
I wish I knew Jesus. What he liked to eat... How his face looked when we was annoyed, tired, incandescently happy... From the scriptures I get the general idea of the things he taught, but I can't wait for the day I can sit and talk to him myself. Why, oh great God of the Universe, would you (or would you?) deny those who love you, worship you, and serve you - just because they don't believe you came down to earth to die for their sins? Do you really know what I will choose - therefore not really having a choice anyway? DO you adapt to my choices, making you not eternal (outside of time/always the same)? How can you be both just and merciful? Is hell real? How do you bear the pain of any part of your creation hating and rejecting you? At the end of our earthy lives will we have any other chance to accept your love? How long will you love us? Even if we never return it?
I love the scripture, and I think it's good to question it and learn more about it. I don't need to know all the answers - but I NEED to ask the questions. As instructed by Micah I will attempt to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with my God. As as instructed by Jesus I will attempt to love God and love my neighbor as myself. Yearning to have the fruit of the spirit - (yes I even learn from Paul) Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and self-control. This is the best I know how to follow Jesus. I do believe Jesus came and lived and loved, so much so that he sacrificed himself for me.
But as God - in infinite wisdom and power and mercy - can you accept another way?
Peace,
your sister in Christ~Erin
