Grayscale

What a world we live in.  Or so we often say. 
Simple
Complicated
Connected
Lonley
Beautiful
Impoverished
Diverse
Unjust

We look at the big picture. 

And we see our own little problems, getting the fridge fixed, finding time to get the dishes done, making a grocery list.  And our own little things vary greatly based on where we live in the world, our economic status, our family status... etc. 

It's not an easy concept, and one can easily get lost in contemplating the world and your place in it.  So often we focus on what we can.  Providing for our families, giving to groups when they ask and we can, trying to better ourselves with education and saving.  Thinking about (in detail, not cliche) what is happening to others around the world is not generally one of those warm fuzzy things for most of us here in the US.  Because we are on the extreme high end of the world (even those of us who are poor!). 

The "heavy" issues of human rights, religion, politics, even basic right and wrong - not your typical best conversation starters, but to me they are incredibly important. 

Yet the only thing I know, is that I don't know enough.  My highest spiritual gift is Servanthood.  (those of you who know me are shaking your head in understanding)  God has gifted me with the desire to make others lives easier and just a little brighter.  I'm torn on where and even often why. 

There is no "right" answer.  There are loving caring moral people who are on both sides of the Wisconsin budget issue.  There are loving caring people moral on both sides of the abortion issue.  There are loving caring moral people fighting poverty and homelessness and ignoring it. 

Do I love talking about these issues... YES.  I do.  Others don't.  (Sorry friends).  I also love learning more about... well everything.  And you learn more from those who think different and even disagree with you than those who think just like you.  But at the same time we must always remember to love.  To honestly listen, respect, and care about the individuals on the other side of the issue from you.  To think of them as part of the same human family that you belong to and not as your enemy. 

I know being open and loving to people you disagree with is difficult.  But it is a widely accepted way of life (or endorsed more than lived) by millions around the world of many cultures and religions.  What kills me is that we don't LIVE it.  WHY???  Why do we insist on hurting each other?  With words, with weapons, manipulating relationships... over and over again we deliberately cause others pain.     

But it's not black and white.  Nothing is.  It's all grayscale.  Only when we can really begin to show true love can we begin to see the color beyond the gray. 

One person at a time.  Me first.  (Thanks Ghandi)  Then hopefully others (that's you).  Someday the world.  

Wishing you peace and love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Relating

So a friend of mine got me started on The Circle Trilogy by Ted Dekker a few weeks ago... LOVE it!  The first couple chapters I thought were really weird and I wasn't sure that I was going to get into these books, but I recommend them to anyone who likes a good (somewhat crazy) story.

Thomas Hunter, the main character, falls asleep in the present day world and wakes up in another reality.  A world where the people are completely focused on the Great Romance and their creator - Elyon.  It's a little ... sci-fi ish... but the metaphors and allegory come clear as you work through the books.

Such vivid emotions and descriptions of love, something easily relateable in a story.  Love, loss, war, good, evil these are concepts that are at the core of most of our stories from the evening sitcom line-ups to classics from Shakespeare, Jane Austin, or even Stephen King.  These are the basic concepts we understand our human lives in.

But do we allow such emotion in our religions?  Do I allow myself to have such a deep relationship with my creator?  Well... it's much more difficult.

Yet this book seems to carefully prod the reader - don't you want to have something this meaningful?  It's easy to watch a movie or a TV series and find a situation you relate to, or wish you related to.  Yet, religion can so easily fall away from something that centers around those concepts of love, good, and evil.  It's easy to talk about, academically speaking, but do we really FEEL love in our relationship to God?  Do I?

Sometimes, yes.  Sometimes, no.  So what else do I focus on and is that really worthy of my time and energy?
Great books, great concepts, great way to approach the story of the gospel in a new way.  Thanks Ted Dekker. 

God Bless you and yours,
Your sister in Christ~Erin  

No more is the Land of Limbo!

I have been in the Land of Limbo for the majority of the last fall through January.  Sigh... not a comfortable and relaxing place to be!! 

But as do all good things, the time has come when more exciting and permanent things have come about!  I am now the Camp Assistant for the United Methodist Camps of Wisconsin.  I work back and forth at both Lake Lucerne and Pine Lake, while I am living on site at Pine Lake.  I assist with whatever is needed from taking care of animals, nature programming, helping with summer programming, typical office work, serving food/dishes, and hosting groups. 

In a lot of ways I can see myself here for a while.  (crossing my fingers!) 

So seminary, - I have still begun my ordination process and am planning on attending seminary and following my calling as a deacon.  Therefore I will begin school part time next fall as I maintain my full time job here.  Hopefully I will be able to do many of my classes online!  I am also looking at the possibility of taking the train down from Portage to Chicago when necessary.

Just some life details.  I love being at camp and getting to meet all sorts of wonderful people from all over the state.  It's also very relieving to have a "real" job again and be able to pay the bills.  I am still learning to put my trust in God, in good times and in Limbo Land.

God Bless you and yours,
your sister in Christ~Erin  

Rabbit Trails

I love the little things that color the world.  Little changes, unexpected, that draw your attention for maybe just a minute or a week... Rabbit Trails we call them sometimes (at staff meetings) and I am fully distracted by them!  All these little things, from blog posts to a radio bit, a comment from someone, a new book, just add a pop of color I didn't expect for my day.  It's fun. 

I know, I'm young.  I don't really know much.  Many days I feel starved for information, yet today- it's not hard to get.  (good sources a little trickery.. )  I can study Bonheoffer online, or contemplate how cool it would be if I could get birds to eat from my hand.  Yes, I know I'm alittle scattered, but it makes sense in my head - and God gave me this crazy head, so I've decided to embrace the way I think. 

Being young and not knowing nearly enough to really have my opinions... (ha - that doesn't stop me) I consistently attempt to listen first and speak later.  Difficult for me, I know.  But I also remind people that as I learn and grow my opinions and ideas will change.  Please have patience for me... and the rest of the human race. 

I just started reading an interesting book called "Black" - by Ted Dekker.  It took a while for me to get into it, but I loved it and am onto "Red"  the next book of the series.  There are great images of a loving God and a people fully in love with their creator.  Spending the better part of each day worshiping or preparing to worship.  The immense love felt by the characters is so touching. 

It's so much easier for me just to contemplate the ideology behind universalism and debate if it is "cheap grace" or not, than for me to really let my guard down and be wholely in love with the God who created me. 

So much easier to put down a book full of, in my head, rediculous oversimplistic claims of conservative evangelist Christianity and go volunteer at a local church and feel good about my social justice - than to really studying personally (not academically) the words of my God. 

Eh?  I dont' understand myself most days... but I'm glad I read.  Blogs, books, billboards... really it all adds fun color and random thoughts to each day helping me enjoy what has been created for me. 

Peace,
your sister in Christ~Erin