I've been gone

Sorry I've been gone.

At work we got students back this week!!  But it's been an exhausting change and I just haven't gotten to my blog =(

I'm also a bit scatterbrained and wondering... looking forward to saturday to catch up.

Until then reading "Blue like Jazz"

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Rescued

Stories speak to us.  Music and art speak to us.  They connect to something deep within us that we can relate to.  When trying to recall something later - it's these things we remember.  Someone can say something incredibly insightful and life changing, but our human capacity to remember... can forget.

Donald Miller retells a beautiful story in chapter 3.  There is a group of hostages who have been held captive for several months in "some dark corner of the world."  A group of Navy SEALS came in with helicopters and stormed the compound.  Finding the hostages they announced "We came to rescue you - we are Americans"  but none of the hostages would move.  The SEALS knew they couldn't carry them all out... but what to do to help them understand and trust?  One of the the SEALS put down his weapon, took off his helmet, and sat down so near them he was touching several hostages.  He soften his face and put his arms around them.  He loved them to show them he was one of them.  That was something their captors never would have done.  And soon, all the hostages were safely aboard helicopters and heading home.

Warm and fuzzy.  Easy to draw a "christian" comparison.  Jesus comes to us, especially in our dark places and loves us.  He comes wanting to rescue us and will stay and hold us until we are ready to follow him.  I believe we are all children of God - every last one of us.  We can all identify our dark places, and we don't want to be judged on ours so we must not judge others.  God comes to us all to love us, and we too should come to each other to love.

Sometimes it takes more time for us to move from curled up in our corner to standing ready to walk out with our savior.  But I believe God will NEVER give up on any of us.  Ever.

I can relate to the feeling of being rescued - as well as the hostages disbelief.  A few years ago I was very depressed.  So depressed I was just waiting for the right time to take a large bottle of pills I had been saving.  Then came a few days where I was going to be alone and I said goodbye to those I loved.  But God had other plans.  A friend showed up and insisted I come hang out.  Eventually I went.  That night was a battle field inside of me.  I felt God trying to love me, felt his arms around me trying to comfort me but thought I was crazy.  As I felt his touch I wielded around trying to see who was near me - no one.  In my corner I was convinced that I was alone.  No one else really saw me.  No one really loved me.  Any anyone who tried I pushed out.  But that night God wouldn't leave.

After hours of crying, I stood up and walked out of my dark corner and back into the light of the world hand in hand with my savior.  My life has never been the same.

I have gone back to my corner - tried to take control of my life and fight off anything that didn't fit the way I wanted.  Over and over again, God has come to sit with me in my corner until I am ready to leave with him.  I know he will be with you in your corner as well - trust him completely, I know you are scared, but you aren't alone.

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Christian

There are christians worldwide.  But we as many other humans tend to form groups with others like us, people we are comfortable with.

But we must see past our groups, our denominations, our churches, OUR people.  We must see our brothers and sisters across the world and join together to bring the kingdom of God on earth.  

We must reach out and love each other.

Not judge each other and refuse to work together.  

Not criticize and stand around to watch.  

To reach out a hand in love and faith.  

To keep our minds, hearts, and wallets open to those in need.  

To change.  

To love.

Radically love.    

Everyone, everywhere

In peace with love, 

your sister in Christ~Erin 

Gilmore Girls

Life is about balance.  Things I try to balance in my life are family, love, and serving others.  Often I can get a little heavy with major issues in the world that break my heart.  But it is important to balance them with love and laughter.

I love the show "Gilmore Girls".  It reminds me a little of the relationship I have with my sister.  We can tease and finish each other's sentences and sometimes get so mad at each other we need time apart.  But there is a special bond between us that is hard to put into words.  And she puts joy and laughter into my life like this show does.

It is a unique style of comedy and it is lighthearted, talented, and wonderful.  Thank you Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel for making my day brighter!

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

I

Don't you just love it when you a reading a book and you completely agree with what the author is saying! Sometimes when I'm reading I feel like I'm learning, sometimes I am just being entertained by a good story, sometimes I get mad because I don't agree with the thoughts and ideas, occasionally however I completely agree!

As I am reading "Blue like jazz" the author comes to the conclusion that there is a problem with people.  In christian terminology we refer to this as being a "broken" people.  In life this represents our failures.  I am consistently 5-20 minutes late.   I get really excited and tend to interrupt others ALOT.  Laundry and I sit in our own corners and stare  - we'll see who wins.  I can't seem to shake my loneliness sometimes.  I am flawed; I am broken.

What's more though is that the world is broken.  In an incredibly insightful conversation with a friend, the author was confronted with his own humanity.  We are all humans and can do many things - some good, some horrific.  It is not difficult to look around and see the terrible things happening in our world, and often by humans to others.  "Are you capable of that (referring to murdering and raping people in the Congo)" - the authors friend asked.  Rock, meet hard place.  If I say no, I am saying that I am superior.  Therefore I must say yes, sigh - yikes.  The world is broken, and we are all involved and capable of breaking, and ... fixing?

Then the author comes to my favorite point in chapter 1 - I am the problem.  I am the problem.  I am selfish and self centered and hypocritical.  It is too hard for me to actually follow through with doing anything else.  I have to do what's good for me.  I don't have a choice - I need this.  Well at least I don't _______.  I am the problem.

I have been dancing around this idea trying to grasp my own understanding for some time now.  I am the problem in the world.  I like that.  Well, not that I want to be, but I love the honesty and fire it lights.  There is a combination of responsibility, privilege, consumerism, and selfishness I am trying to grasp.

For example, I am hungry - so I go to the grocery store and I buy some bread, salami (my favorite), cheese, melon, and a bar of chocolate.  I am privileged enough to go and buy those things that I like - even though some of them have traveled a long way to get to my plate here in Ohio.  Do I have a responsibility to my brothers and sisters around the world? - perhaps instead of buying a Nestle or a Hershey's chocolate bar I can buy one that is fair trade (like coffee).  Don't I have a responsibility to be an informed and good consumer?  However that is complicated, difficult, and I just want my lunch.  So salami sandwich (I have no idea about the quality of this meat and or the chemicals in it...) grill in my sandwich maker so I can have what I want.

Yes, I am the problem.

But I can help.  It takes time, knowledge, and I will mess up.  But I have to care.  I have to know where my food, my clothes, my money goes to support.  It is my responsibility.  So -

Little things I can do:
- be a chocolate snob (thanks Molly McKay!) buy organic fairly traded chocolate - it's better!
- look for local markets for produce
- buy things in season so they don't have to be shipped to you across the planet (bananas in Feb in Ohio)
- know your butcher and where your meat comes from
- research brands and companies - clothing, shoes, stores
- be picky and willing to spend a little more to make a difference for someone you'll never know
- share good food/clothes/information with your friends
- buy local - shop at the little stores and boycott the box stores whenever possible

Gotta love Ghandi -
"Be the change you want to see in the world."

I am capable of atrocities.  I am also capable of love.

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Blue Like Jazz

When I started writing this book I just wanted to end up with something like Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies, because in Traveling Mercies it felt like she was free, free to be herself, to tell her story, to just vent, to rant, to speak as if she were talking to a friend. Traveling Mercies helped me write this book, and in a way, for a while, Anne will be "The Beatles" of spiritual writers, because she has influenced so many of us. I definitely feel as though I got permission from Anne Lamott, permission to be human and to interact with God without all of the mind-melt that comes with growing up in a religious family. I never believed it would be published, and so I was pretty open in this book. My career was dead when I started this thing, so I felt like I was just talking to myself, or to the little reading group that met at my house.

Sting has this song where he says that he is alone on an island and puts a message in a bottle and throws it into the ocean, only to wake the next morning and have a hundred million bottles washed upon his shore. He sings "I guess I'm not alone at being alone," and I think that sums up how I feel about Blue Like Jazz. It feels like I thought I was alone but woke up one morning to discover nothing could be further from the truth. And people have been incredibly kind.

A friend and I are going to read this starting tomorrow - 2 chapters a day.  I'm so excited!  

In peace with Christ, ~Erin 

Small groups

We have a series of small groups at church through the "Girlfriends Unlimited" program.  Today our adventure chicks went snow tubing!  It's been really great to get to know women from my church better and on a more personal level.  Hurray!

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Wonder

"Wonder is the beginning of wisdom"  - Greek Proverb 

go out and create something today!

In peace with love, 

your sister in Christ~ Erin

Books

I am thankful for language and the ability to share my thoughts as well as hear and read the thoughts of others.  Lately I have been consumed by reading.  I just finished "Saints and Villains"  a historical fiction book about the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and I have just started "Stones into Schools" the sequel to "Three Cups of Tea" - the story of Greg Morteson building schools for girls in Pakistan and Afghanistan.  I am beginning "Blue like Jazz" with a friend tomorrow (as soon as I pick it up from the book store!) and after that we are reading "Unchristian".  Our book club just read "Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" and the county is soon reading "The Kindness of Strangers".

Waiting in a pile to be read soon is:
"All rivers run to the sea" - Elie Wiesel
"Walk to Freedom" - Nelson Mandela
"Lessons of love and secrets of sanctity" about Mother Teresa
"There Eyes Were Watching God"  - Zora Neale Hurston
"Say you're one of them"  - short stories about children in africa

What have you been reading?

Tea

Tea is the second most consumed beverage - water is first.
Tea is popular in almost every country around the world!
Tea has been used for centuries for different health remedies - especially headaches.

You can drink tea hot, or iced and just about any flavor you want!  I like a nice green tea with honey in the morning to get me up and going.  Sometimes an English tea with milk - smooth and sweet and creamy.  Herbal teas if I'm a bit stuffy or have a sore throat, with honey or lemon juice.  All day I will drink iced tea - green, peach/raspberry, sweet tea... lots of kinds.  A nice chamomile is great as I'm relaxing and getting ready for bed.

Honestly I love tea - and I'm glad most of the world does too!
(tip - tea can be safer to drink than water where water is tainted because boiling water will kill any bacteria that was in it!)

God Bless,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Cheap grace is the mortal enemy of our church.  Our struggle today is for costly grace."  Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Statues found at Westminster Abby

20th Century Saints

from left to right

Mother Elizabeth of Russia, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Oscar Romero, Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Tonight the power went our for several hours here at camp.  It's been snowing like crazy for the past week or so and I think it's lovely.  I made a snowman, shoveled a bit, and have fallen down a lot.  =)  In general I am loving it!

Losing power was an interesting experience however.  Can't flush the toilet, turn on the faucet, cook anything, let alone have any lights.  We lit a bunch of candles and I sat by the window for a long while reading.

I have been reading "Saints and Villains" a fictional account of the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and am loving it.  When I begin to learn about a topic I want to understand it from as many sides as possible.  I have been exposed to some of Bonhoeffers theology and have immensely enjoyed it.  I too struggle with the idea of "cheap grace".  The life of a disciple isn't easy and too often I let it be.  I am content to know that God loves me and accept his gift of grace - without to much change on my part.  While grace is a gift freely given to anyone who accepts God - after we are given that grace we are called to a life of discipleship.  Not necessarily perfection (sorry John Wesley - I'm not sure about that one yet) but a life of serving and obeying God's will.  To follow the law, but as Jesus came to teach us, being a disciple is so much more than simply following rules.

Discipleship is about relationships.  It's about having a relationship with our creator.  It's about having relationships with our brothers and sisters.  It's about loving people, respecting people, and caring for people.  Bringing about the kingdom of God here on earth and having the faith that it is not through our works that it will come about.  But it will not come about without our efforts either.  We must love.  Our Lord and our neighbors.  Bonhoeffer knew this and spoke out against the prejudices and racism of his day - in pre WWII Germany and told over and over again it wasn't his battle.  They weren't after him.  But he held strong to his faith and views on social justice.  He believed if a Christian, or the church, doesn't speak out against injustice against anyone; they aren't really following Christ.

One of his close friends and colleagues Pastor Martin Niemoller wrote this poem:


In Germany they first came for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me —
and by that time no one was left to speak up.


Friends, please pray for my path of discipleship - for it is a difficult one for me to take.  I will pray for yours.  May we love everyone we meet and always reach out to the needy, the suffering, the oppressed for they are among us even here and now.  


In peace with love, 
your sister in Christ~Erin

Courage

Today I go into my meditation with concerns and seeking specific wisdom.
I want to have courage.
Courage to stand up for myself.
But I AM afraid
Afraid of what people will think

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

We all want to liked.  I have this issue - I would really like to be loved.  But I have this little hunch that part of this year is God teaching me that the only love I need is his.  I took this year off.  I took time to go teach kids and play outdoors.  I made the choice against some of my better judgement.  But there are many lessons I'm being taught as well.  I only have to look out to the wonder and beauty outside to be reminded of God's hand in my life.

I have expressed to some of my close friends that I am feeling very isolated.  It is not like me at all to sit alone or leave a group to go read a book or take a walk.  I LOVE people.  It is not that the staff where I work are not caring individuals, they are wonderful people.  I have seen many really reach people with they way they teach and the way they care.  But I don't fit in.  Often I remove myself from the situation if possible because I am uncomfortable.  I'm searching for the strength to stand up for myself and say something.

I have been reading a book about Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Saints and Villians.  It's wonderful.  And while I am reading it I find I am loving his character.  I'm not sure if it's because of the way this author is portraying him or if that's really how he was, but I love him.  I can completely relate to the way that he (his character in the book) goes through moods and takes to himself.    Sometimes he makes comments that make him seem arrogant, but soon you learn he is just trying his best to be honest.

He is famous for his courage to stand up against Hitler, from the church, and speak out for the Jews.  Many Christians at this time didn't have the courage.  They were worried about themselves.  Many ideas and ideologies as well as sterotypes and prejudice played into the situation, but the church of Germany actually split.  The Reich church held the belief that the church existed to serve the state.  Not humanity.

Bonhoeffer spoke out against this.  I'm looking forward to delving into his work "The Cost of Discipleship."  I hope it will give me courage as well as direction.



Philippians 1:20
I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.

I pray for the strength and the courage of my brothers and sisters in Christ to stand up against the ideas of the world and the words to speak to do so in love.  Even in the small places in my own life.

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Love and Struggle

I am so filled with emotion, often I don't know how to make anything of myself!!

I am a thinker.  I have tried to stop, or at least tone it down - with little to no success.  And I am also a hopeless romantic and lover.  I will love, to the best of my ability, everyone who crosses my path.  =)

My personality is caring I suppose, but there are a few places when I feel completely myself.  When I am singing, caring for another, teaching or learning.  These tendencies have lead me to the church where I have met a God who has become the lover of my soul.  This love is what keeps me going and gives me energy to go out and love others - it is a love that completes me.  I have also fallen in love with the church, but it is not a perfect love.  As I was reading "Saints and Villains" today - a fiction book about the like of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I read a passage about him falling in love with the church seemed to echo my own thoughts.  I feel like I love the church like Hosea loved Gomer.  I have fallen in love with the people of the church and what the church is about.  To have the security that there is a whole group of people out there who will love me because I am a child of God.  No other reason.  That there is a group of people out there who are willing to give everything to serve.  Yet sometimes I do not love what the church does, I still have this unexplainable love for the body of Christ.

Yet this love and knowledge leads to so much internal struggle for me.  I suppose it is because I want everything to be good for everyone and the more I learn the more I know it's not so.  The more I read some of the things people of the church say it breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart to see the church pick and choose who they deem appropriate and who they disregard.  It breaks my heart to see the dicotomy of the rich and the poor.

I don't want to preach, but somehow I feel like that is because what I have to say isn't going to be well received.  I want to hang out with my friends and spend a carefree afternoon like any other young American.  Like any other young American of privilege.

I was born to privilege.  I see that now.  I can't hate myself because of it or my family.  I love the opportunities and education they gave to me.  But I can't just sit around happily watching a movie, going to work, and hanging out with my friends.  Not when I know so many of my brothers and sisters are starving in poverty, oppressed, and abused.  The church can't either.  The more we do, the more it breaks my heart.

But I don't know how to change, I know I must.  I must leave everything and follow Christ.  Right now I have committed myself to study.  Study the scriptures, study the saints, study the needs of my world.  But after I have studied (yes even seminary) I want to LIVE.  I want to live among the rest of the world and care for them with my heart, my hands, my head, and my love.

But I don't think my calling is to serve alone.  As I try to discern my calling I feel that there needs to be a connection to the American church of today.  A way of helping people discover themselves, how to connect with others (for love is all about healthy relationships!!!), learn about their passion, and put them in an opportunity to live a life of service as well.

I am enjoying learning.  I have a stack of library books so high it seems daunting yet so thrilling of the inspiration and enlightenment awaiting for me there.  It's just that the stories found there do pull at my heart and make me want to get out of my comfortable house and do something about it!!! (even if it happened 100 + years ago...)

Dear Lord, lover of my soul, to one to already knows my every thought, every care, every burden - I pray for your children around the world.  I pray that you wrap them in your arms and meet their every need.  I pray that your children hear your gentle calling to be disciples and accept the difficulties and gifts that come along with that life.  I pray for wisdom and patience as I find my way to a closer walk with you.  Amen.

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin  

Expectations and let downs

Being lonely is a part of life, right?

I had a good morning, really a great morning.  I was invited to the sweethearts breakfast at church and I sat by several good friends.  Then we had book club - we read Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet - which was amazing.  Inspirational, emotional, historically accurate, and encouraging.  Then between the library and the book store I got more books a few movies and a good day coming.

I'm excited for my shawl to be done and start another for our living history programs.  I'd really like to get some costumes that fit ME and look good for work too.  I'm working on a great tablecloth for my mom, I am almost done sewing, but I'd really like to hand quilt it.  =)

So lots to do and learn and think about, but still I just got hit with a bout of sadness and loneliness.  I have so many in my life that love me.  My church here in Ohio is wonderful.  My family has really begun to accept me for who I am.  I have wonderful friends.  But there are others in my life who have let me down from my original expectations - you know?  I've been told I give a lot to those in my life.  My time, my energy, my love.  Without seeming to want anything in return... but I beg to be loved.  A note, a hug, a comment, just walking with me - something to let me know that you see me here.  Just trying to fulfill my calling and my purpose.

Sometimes I just wonder about having expectations for relationships.  Is there anyway to avoid the hurt when things don't turn out the way you'd like?  Is this just life?  I have expectations that when I love others - hopefully some of them will love me back.  I try to rest in the knowledge that the creator of the world loves me more than I can imagine and has more for me than I can ever know.  Yet sometimes I find myself wishing for that human love.  To have the physical touch of someone holding you.

Someday.  God willing.

~We can not do great things.  Only small things with great love.  - Mother Teresa

For know, I will rejoice in who I am and the lover of my soul.

In peace and love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Secret Valentine...

This week at work we had a "secret valentine" exchange and it was so much fun!!  I had lot of tips from co workers on fun ways that I could surprise my valentine - confetti all over the desk, in drawers - lots of decorations.  But I also had a lot of other fun things - hershey kiss trial to the office, paper chains, window crayons (that was great!) and today the secretary and a friend of mine helped me blow up 30 balloons to cover the office and we taped them down!  (so you can't just simply move them around.  Then we took streamers and taped them across much of the doorway.  =)

It's just been such a blessing to me to scheme and plan - and I've gotten closer with staff I don't typically work with as I have gone sneaking around.

I am happy to announce that my secret valentine doesn't know it was me and maybe will never know...!  Ha hahaha!

As Christians I feel that we are called to be joyful.  On account of the gift of God's grace, we should be overflowing with happiness and love.  There are days when I don't feel that, but many times I allow other things to get in my way.

I change you to find ways regularly to surprise someone secretly (maybe weekly/monthly/daily!).  Be it a candy bar hidden in a desk to bringing over a meal to a young busy family, or sending a card or note.  Appreciate those you have around you and not just to yourself, but let them know it too.  God gives to us abundantly so that we can spread it around.  It often occurs to us to serve those "in need" and go to areas where there is poverty and suffering.  Our brothers and sisters in those places need our love for sure.  But so do the brothers and sisters we live around, work around, and worship with.  Get to know people you are with.  Listen to them when they talk.  Ask them questions.  Love them.

"For they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love.  Yes they'll know we are Christians by our love."  

In peace with love,
your sister in Chris~Erin

ABC's

A facilitator told me lately that you can only control your ABC's - and I automatically thought... airway, breathing, circulation?  (too much Red Cross)  You can only control your Attitude, Behavior, and Choices.  It reminded me of another alphabet as well...
Thankful ABC's
I am thankful for
Afghans
Breakfast
Chocolate
Desire to learn
Environment
Family and Friends
Great Grandmothers
Holidays
Ice pops (freezies!)
Jenna Lynn (my sister)
Kids
Lemon juice
Music
Nitting (okay knitting)
Oreos
Paper
Quilting
Rights - human rights
Sewing and snow angels
Teaching
Unicorns and other creative things
Violets
Water
Xylophones
Yellow
Zen gardens

and much much more.

I had a friend do this with me one day during our lunch as I was having a particularly frustrating week.  Next time you find yourself struggling, take a moment to write down your abc's.

In peace with love,
Your sister in Christ~Erin

Racism in America

I teach an interesting living history program at work to help illustrate the concept of racism and injustice to students.  The American history of racism is heart wrenching and repetitive.  Just think how these groups were treated - with dignity and human rights?
Native Americans
Africans captured and brought to American as slaves and subsequent generations of African Americans
Irish immigrants on the east coast
Chinese immigrants on the west coast
Japanese immigrants on the west coast
Hispanic immigrants
Arab Americans
Lots of images come to mind....

 In particular right now I have been reading a book about WWII and the Japanese internment.  Here's some facts:
"Courage is something strong within you that brings out the best in a person. Perhaps no one else may know or see, but it’s those hidden things unknown to others, that reveals a person to God and self." - Yuri Nakahara Kochiyama
  Diary entry, May 3, 1942


President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066 authorizing the mass incarceration of over 110,000 Japanese Americans during World War II.

Two-thirds were American citizens. Over half were children or infants.
Their "crime": their Japanese ancestry.

Forty-six years later our government officially apologized for this "grave injustice" and paid reparations.

Could it happen again to another group of Americans?


information from - http://www.asianamericanmedia.org/jainternment/


Sigh.  People are quick to judge and slow to change.  I'm glad I'm learning about it though.  Too many of us "Americans" grow up thinking that America is this wonderful place of opportunity for everyone and it's just not true.  American is a wonderful place of acceptance and opportunity for those who are of caucasian decent.  For centuries we have prosecuted and put down those who aren't.  Even in recent history!  We talk in our history classes about the horror of German concentration camps, yet we forget to discuss or even bring up the fact that during the war - yes 1944, President Roosevelt signed an order and all those of Japanese decent living on the west coast were evacuated and moved to internment camps.  Lost almost everything they owned trying to prove they were loyal citizens (many were second or third generation American citizens).  All in the name of homeland security.  


In the past 10 years we have seen racism and fear again raise it's ugly head with the terrible September 11th attacks.  Many Americans are fearful of Arab americans and there is a distinct hatred and distrust of people who simply "look" Arab.  Many of us are so ignorant we don't even know what ethnic group people belong to and we are judging them as possible terrorists.  


In the book I'm reading "The Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" the main character as a child is forced by his father to wear a button on his jacket proudly saying "I am Chinese".  Because of the fear he could be mistaken for Japanese.  sigh.  


Brothers and sisters we need to continually work everyday to diversify ourselves, make friends with those who look different than us, see a person for their humanity not just their nationality!  Christ often gave examples of God loving and accepting foreigners, often enraging Jews.  We must remember that our community is global and every person we meet is a member of our family.  


I know this is something I have to actively work on.  I tend to be drawn to those who act and look like me.  But I pray for God's eyes and heart to help build bridges and heal divisions within my family.  


In peace with love, 
your sister in Christ~Erin

100 People Who Changed the World #1

1.  Jesus Christ
Ah!  Love it.  So I was looking around for some info on the wonderful world wide web, and stumbled across a site with biographies for the worlds top 100 People who "Changed the World" and was interested.  Number 1 on the list - God.  Awesome.

So I feel like this is cheating a bit... but here's some of their info from the bio:

A key characterist of Jesus's teachings are an emphasis on forgiveness and unconditional love. These represented a departure from the old scriptures which emphasised an eye for an eye. Jesus taught his followers to 'love their enemy' and 'turn the other cheek'

"But I tell you not to resist an evildoer. On the contrary, whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well." - Matthew 5:39

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you". (Matthew 5:38-44)

Jesus Christ also taught that the Kingdom of heaven was within. To attain this state he taught it was important to be willing to give up attachment to the world and maintain humility and simplicity - to be like a child.

"The kingdom of God is not coming with signs to be observed; nor will they say, `Lo, here it is!' or `There!' for behold, the kingdom of God is in the midst of you (or "within you") Luke 17:20

It was the radical nature of his teachings and a growing following which aroused the suspicions of the authorities.

Jesus was also known as a healer. The gospels recount many miracles where Jesus was able to heal the sick and even resurect the dead (Lazarus)

Teacher.  

Healer. 

Radical.  

#1 Person Who Changed the World

Dear Lord, I can never thank you enough for your presence in my life.  Please help me to live the life of a disciple, to be like Jesus and change the world for you.  The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand... we can love.  As we approach valentines day I ask that you open the hearts of your children to reach out and share your love with someone we typically would not.  Forgive me, your child, for my sinful nature and be my guide as I strive to live my life for you.  Amen

Lectio divina

Another art and tradition of meditation - the art of reading while listening for the still small voice of God.

I think of it (as best I have read/studied) in 4 steps:

1 - lectio is the first step where you read or listen to a selected section of scripture, either alone or in a group, and while reading focus on listening (not the typical speed reading).  Read until a certain word or phrase speaks to you personally.
2 - meditatio is the second step where you take some time to focus on that word or phrase.  Memorize it, repeat it just take some time to think about the meaning it has for you and take you deeper with it
3 - oratio is the third step and is prayer to God about the word or phrase that has spoken to you and meant to help take you deeper again
4 - contemplatio is the forth step where you rest in the presence of God and accept the message you have been reading/meditating/praying on

Just another option out their for meditation, I first experienced it in a small group.  I like that it is a bit more structured than meditating with a mantra, however I have come to love them both.  

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Underdogs

Many of us feel our heart strings tugged a little bit when we hear the story of an "underdog".  There is just something hopeful and encouraging to hear that against many odds someone can come out on top.

Well, like many American's today, I was watching the SuperBowl this evening with friends and I was cheering for the New Orleans Saints.  Honestly... because I thought that the Colts have been to plenty of SuperBowls lately and have won some - it's somebody elses turn.  And needless to say I felt good when the Saints won!

Granted that opinion has nothing really to do with who plays the best, practiced the hardest, or at all really deserves it.  But many times and places in life, skill isn't everything.  There is a piece of us, of our humanity, that knows heart is important.  We don't like to see a movie if the hero dies in the middle or if the girl doesn't end up with the "good" guy.  Look at Adam Sandler's "The Water Boy", or "Forest Gump", or a classic - "Cinderella" would that story be known for over a hundred years if she didn't rise above all odds and end up with the prince?

Christians in the early church were underdogs and the church never grew as fast as when she was under persecution.  The heart of an underdog grabs our attention and makes us interested to hear the story.  Why would a person give up their life for their religion?  Who was this Jesus?  How does this community of fishermen, tax collectors, prostitutes, foreigners, widows, and clergy live together in love? Despite the threat of death, what gives these "Christians" the strength (or stupidity from others perspective) to hold on to their faith?

People are attracted by honorable people fighting for what's right because it is good.  They want to be a part of that.  As Christians we are a light and we must shine that light bright out into the darkness.  Not being afraid to really live our faith in every aspect of our lives.  To continually seek out what it means to be a disciple and what God has called us to do with our lives.

Live in the world, my brothers and sisters, cheer for your favorite football team for whatever reason, but do not live of the world.  Remember your calling as a child of God and give God praise and thanks for all the Lord has blessed you with.

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Music and Colors

I think it is universally accepted that no one is "normal".  It is fascinating to me to learn peoples little weird quirks - those little things that you've never even thought of that catch you off guard.  You like - what?  What are you doing?  Super funny to hear stories of couples as they are trying to balance which of these they can live with and so forth.

Coming from a musical family (both of my parents are music teachers) I LOVE music... yet I am not a fan of what most people would call "popular".  We weren't really encouraged or allowed to listen to pop or country, let alone rap! yikes, but I have a sincere love for orchestra and choral music.  As I got older, into my teens, I listen to a lot of christian music - but I still wanted the high quality I had grown up with.  Harmony, interesting melodies and chord structure, and most importantly decent vocal technique.  I don't have much patience if I can't understand the words or the pitches being sung.
(I am trying to learn to branch out!)

So one of my quirks though- I organize my music into playlists by color.  (I have had friends comment that this is very strange.)  Yellow is a great playlist to put on in the morning when I'm trying to get energized and wake up.  Green is an all around very "me" music.  My warm brown playlist is mostly acoustic guitar or accapella ish music.  Everything has it's place and it works well for me.  I do sometimes get frustrated with Pandora though.. they don't at all get my color schemes.

I think it's so important to get to know and love yourself.  From identifying little quirks you have to making a list of priorities so you can focus on what you are all about.  Only when we take the time to really grasp who we are can we truly being to live out our purpose.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the most high God. Your playing small doesn't serve this world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you..." - Nelson Mandela


Holy Lord, lover of my soul, I thank you for giving me an inquisitive nature.  Help me to learn more about my nature and how I fit into your beautiful creation.  I pray that you would watch over all those that I love, as they rejoice and as they are weary.  Lift them up with your presence.  I pray that you be with all your children today who are suffering.  Meet their needs both physical and emotional.  Amen.

Wishing you well,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Stress relief and inspiration

For stress relief I love to watch movies and... crochet.  I just learned from some wonderful friends around christmastime and have since finished one blanket and am halfway through what will become a shawl.  It is relaxing yet productive and I'm loving it!  I donated my last blanket to the Project Linus - an organization which makes, collects, and gives out homemade new blankets to children in need.  I'm also working on shawls for work - living history costumes.

I love color and quotes and a little crazyiness, so I got myself some window crayons (inspired by another friends markers...) and drew all over  my closet doors (they are full length mirrors).  There are positive things people have said about me, pictures, and quotes.  Every time I see it I feel great and smile!

Just gotta go out on a limb and be creative and artsy sometimes.
God Bless,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Chocolate

Lord, I am thankful for chocolate.

It's the little pleasures in life that make it extra sweet and wonderful.  Like chocolate, or a warm cookie.  Perhaps a cozy hug, or a sincere compliment.  The things that just make your day that much better.

Tonight at church we started a women's bible study focusing on God's grace, yet another theme for it is chocolate.  :)  It was the best part of my day to sit with 9 or 10 other women in our church parlor (just redone and very cozy and relaxing) talking about life and faith.  It is such a fabulous group too.  I am the youngest at 23 and the oldest is a great grandmother of 16!  Many in the middle with young children or older children... we range the board with ages and personalities!  It was just such a blessing.

Sometimes I forget how important the support of friends and family is in life.  I think I'm fine on my own - but I'm not.  The loved ones in my life are another source of chocolate.  From a catch up phone call or an email or an evening of hanging out - those relationships are crucial to our lives.  I'm so thankful for my wonderful friends and family!  (especially when I'm living states away!)

Surprise a friend or family member this week to show them how thankful you are for their love.

Dear Lord,
I am so grateful tonight for the wonderful people whom you have put in my life.  I thank you for their uplifting words and thoughts.  Without those relationships I struggle.  Open my eyes to help me see when they are in need as well as when their are new friends on the horizon to be made.  Amen.

God Bless,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Water

Water - the Nile, the Mediterranean, the Danube, Caspian Sea, the Mississippi, Indian Ocean.  Plants - Palm Tree, arctic lichens, lily of the valley, corn.  Animals - lions, tiger, bears - oh my!  People - Grandfather Eli, baby Annika, cousin Fred, friend Hose.  Resources - copper, titanium, nitrogen, oil.

Balance.

Sometimes I think too broad and I forget that things have names.  The world is more than just water, plants, animals, people, resources.  Those words refer to real places and things and are equally important, without any we would not survive.

I spent the night at the Cincinnati Zoo last night for an education program (love my job) and meet up close some amazing animals.  When we teach children about animals and ecology we try to teach them that the world is connected.  While these animals are wonderful, if we don't care about the plants they need to live we won't have the animals either.

We all need water, and water connects us.  As I reflected on "worldly" things today many thing came to mind.  I saw animals from across the planted today and one thing that connects all of us is water.  Water has a significant meaning to many people as well.  It symbolizes being clean and life giving - but as we know all to well it can also be destructive.  Think about how important the Jordan River is to the people who live around it, and the important water sources near you.  How do we take care of our watersheds?   

The next time you take a drink, or a shower - think about how what water means to our world and give thanks.  How it keeps life sustained not only for you, but for a palm tree in Florida which may be providing shade to a refugee from Haiti taking a cool drink.

God Bless,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Kaj Munk

Great quote:
"What is, therefore, our task today?  Shall I answer: "Faith, hope, and love"?  That sounds beautiful.  But I would say - courage.  No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth.  Our task today is recklessness.  For what we Christians lack today is not psychology or literature...what we lack is a holy rage - the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity.  The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth...a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world.  To rage against the ravaging of God's earth, and the destruction of God's world.  To rage when little children must die of hunger, when the tables of the rich are sagging with food.  To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries.  To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction peace.  To rage against complacency.  To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God.  And remember the signs of the Christian Church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the Fish... but never the chameleon."  - Kaj Munk

Kaj Munk (1898-1944) was a Danish pastor and playwright killed by the Gestapo in 1944 for his opinions and preaching against the german invasion of Denmark.  He was influenced highly by Kierkegaard, a famous philosopher - also Danish.

I love his (Munks) quote here about holy rage.  I get so angry and disheartened  today about poverty, hunger, human trafficking, war, terrorism, and just in general that wealthy christians justify their lifestyle without seemingly much of a care for anyone else.  We have become like the Pharisees living IN the world and OF the world.  We are so focused on what we deserve, what we want, and what we want.  It's hard to say that we don't deserve happy lives in nice neighborhoods and food on the table.  But doesn't everyone?  Is it fair to want those things at the expense of others?

I say no.

I want to love recklessly and without abandon.  Not to be concerned about the "bad" parts of town, but to find a need and do my best to fill it.  To use my gifts and talents to help redistribute the worlds resources, expose privilege, and dance, sing, laugh, help folks reach out to one another and have meaningful relationships.  I want to help the world remember that we have other options, and we can't just accept what we see and what we are given, we can schmear finger paint all over it and make it beautiful.

God Bless,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Presence

Sigh.  =)  I meditated today.

There is something about the presence of God, to me it's like being wrapped up in a blanket and held.  My message today was an age old one that we too often forget to take to heart.

My beloved, I love you.

No complicated theology, no parables, no judgments or exhalations.  I forget that my creator loves me.  It's why we are christians!  It's what we talk about all the time!  But do we take time to experience the love of God in our lives?  To just be with God and feel that holy peace?  There's nothing simple about it - it is a deep, all knowing, beautiful kind of love that we all seek but too often don't find.  We rush around - trust me, i'm great at it.  I am reminded of my best friend.  We don't get to spend a great deal of time together, and the time we do spend together isn't really epic or really planned.  It's the moments of just hanging out and being with each other that we feel each others love.  

Yet there is always something to do, people to help, commitments to fulfill.  We don't take the time it takes to quiet ourselves.  To remember that while God can surprise us in the smile of a another or touch our souls in a song, we need to take the time to just be in the Lord's presence and be still.

For Elijah didn't find God in the storm or the wind or the fire of life, but in the stillness.  It takes me almost a half an hour to focus on my breathing and try my best to clear all those thoughts from my mind. But when I reach that place where I am connected with the holy spirit it is indescribable.

Take some time today or tomorrow to quiet your mind and your soul and let the creator of the universe hold you, recharge you, and remind you that you claimed, you are a beloved child of God.

your sister in Christ~Erin