Monday, October 19, 2009

Blurry...

I love to read - to gain new ideas, new thoughts.  Yet I have many in my head already.  Beliefs that were instilled by my parents at a young age, things society has taught me, facts and conclusions I have reached on my own through experience and study.  However they always change and evolve.

I can't help it that I analyze and think.  Over the years I have come to accept it as the way I am "wired".  God gave me this mind, so rather that go crazy, I must write, talk, share.  Sometimes this is pleasant, and sometimes not.  But it is me, and I will go forth.

My head is currently so very blurry.  I have been blog surfing tonight and there are so many different thoughts I don't know where to go.  Have you ever experienced that?  When your beliefs are being questioned and you wonder if you got it wrong somewhere?  Like the bee and the flowers, are there parts of the picture out of focus for me?

With religion there is also so much emotion.  In church a few weeks ago we discussed that many christians are still eating proverbial "baby food".  A thought that I question is, have we as Christians, fallen away from our most basic beliefs?  Now I would not describe myself as conservative, but I would disagree with the statement that "all faiths lead to heaven".

I struggle with biblical statements such as Jesus saying "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth.  i did not come to bring peace, but a sword."  Matthew 10:34.  Yet Psalm 34:14 advises "Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it."  There is much I struggle with in the bible.  In the old testament God's wrath condemning so many or encouraging the genocide of a people.  In the new testament, Paul's teaching in Romans 2:6-7 "God will give to each person according to what he has done.  To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life."

Quite a different belief from my understanding that "God is love" from Paul in 1 John 4, 13-16.  "We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.  If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him".  

That is the faith I identify with.  Yet is it true?  Is it real?  Or is it just a piece of the puzzle with the rest blurry???  I understand that many are nervous about the fate, or path, they have seen the church take recently.  I don't know what is right.  I hope to gain more insight and knowledge through study, prayer, and reflection with God as well as with others.

Through all of it I hope to share the gospel as I understand it.  Jesus Christ came to earth as the son of God.  Fully human and fully divine (don't ask me!).  He preached and served all who would listen about the kingdom of God.  It was not just an easy path of love and happiness, but it brings eternal life and is for anyone who is willing to accept God.  We must all continue to study and pray to keep walking a Christian life.  And through it all we will never be alone, because the creator of the universe loves us.  Loves me.  Limited sight and knowledge and all.

"Dear Lord, please help me to see the world through your eyes.  To serve the needy, love justice, and worship you.  Help me to see evil and avoid following it's tempting ways.  Enlighten my mind with your wisdom concerning how to live a life you are proud of.  Keep me on your path, and strengthen me to fight those who may call me wrong.  Be with all those I know and have yet to meet who are hurting and suffering.  Hold them close and let them know that you will never abandon them.  Amen"


1 comment:

Lisa said...

Erin!

nice to visit here and read.

I've so often struggled to understand God as portrayed in the Bible. Obviously, when read it, I look at it through my current cultural context, (amercian, christian, female in 2009 etc) in my timeframe, and cannot hope to understand that much how the ancient people of God really thought, acted, and lived, at the time the Old Testmt. was written.

By the time God got to earth, with skin on, (Jesus) it seems so many had wrong ideas of him. He started going about trying to challenge faulty assumptions-it seems (mostly) the non-religious would really accept him at his word, and come to him w/o condition. He was gracious and uncomplicated. He was, in fact, just like God. God he was and is.

May you see Jesus is not a little God, or the one who tries to make the Big Daddy (if you will) in the sky not so angry. In fact, Jesus is God- We worship Trinity-the three-in-one God.

God sings over you, Erin. Knowing his nature (and clinging to that through thick and thin) and grasping in some real way, his plan of redemption, trumps all the details that are hard to wade through in the Bible.

The truth is, many Hebrew words have no English equivalencies. Translators do their best, but there is much guess work on many Hebrew words (my prof. helped translate I and II Chronicles in the NLT, and he tells his classes this-David Dorsey. Please pray for him, he's in poor health today, and needs surgery.)

Amazingly God's message gets through, and he powerfully transforms lives-even across all cultures, and in all times! That's divine power.

It seems these times of questioning are exactly what God has for you, and many of us, to draw us into a deeper richer, faith, not by sight intimacy with him. Keep journeying, Erin. It's all good. And of course, we can do it together.

love reading your stuff.
Lisa