Purpose

God has a purpose for each of our lives.  I don't know how it all works... I probably won't ever.  Yet, I am getting closer to finding mine?  or at least getting closer to having a real understanding of who I am.  

This has been a struggle for me in the past few years.  Funny thing is, not until I really prayed for God to give me a hunger for him did I really get a more solid picture of me.   

I am complicated.  This is not something I really have ever tried to hide, occasionally tried to change... but it's just a part of who I am.  Many have had a glimpse of this and reacted in a number of different ways.  

I love to care for others  

Help in every way that I can, 

hug someone who is hurting, 

celebrate the good things in life together

I love to surprise people

I love to give

I find joy in the little things (brown paper packages w/string!)

I am an extrovert to the core

I feed off of others

sure sometimes I can get exhausted...

stressed...

but the good weighs it out

it's like - I get sick on rollercoasters

especially if they go upside-down

I will NEED a garbage can...

so I don't really go on them

but occasionally - 

it's worth it

serving, giving, and being a part of most of the things I am

it's worth it to me

I do think about it all

the choices I make

the commitments I make

I weigh out my options 

and choose 

Chances for me to serve

be a shining example

share my gifts

are wonderful opportunities I feel blessed to have

I thank God for each one

be it for a friend

or for a stranger

The heart of who I am in not within me

I am loving, giving, and compassionate not because of myself

I am who I am because of what God has been to me

I do enjoy Stacie Orrinco's song-

"Don't look at me if you're looking for perfection, 

don't look at me I will only let you down.

I'll do my best to force you in the right direction, 

don't look at me - look at HIM."

"Sometimes I have the fear, that you will see the mirror

and get the thought that it's the main attraction"

Many people have made comments to me about my bubbliness and my compassion.  It is touching to have people be thankful for things I have said or done.  But I can not take the credit.  I love that God has given me a servant heart.  I only hope that through my actions and my love people can see and experience the love of God. 

Mark 12: 30-31

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. 31The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Sure it's not always that easy.  I slip.  I stumble.  I fall.  But that doesn't mean God can't use me.  And no matter how far I stray from God, I still find that I am being used.  There is a purpose for my life and while I am actually quite afraid of my calling... I also can't wait. 

~a sister on the journey, Erin