Prophetic?

Not alot has made it from my head lately to this blog. I wish I could be more reliable somedays. . . but it would take away from my "green" personality.

I sat in on an amazing session at a conference last week about Peace and resolving conflict. When talking about the healing process they discussed several steps. Many of which I think have more to do with learning who you are and being happy with it - or able to ask for help to become something else. I really liked this idea.

Steps in life:
1. Find your passion
2. Live it
3. Learn about others and their passions
4. Work together to make the world a better place

I'm sure I will work on this over the years. . . but really - find what you love to do and do it. Then encourage others to do the same. Enjoy life, and don't let others get you down.

My passion - serving others. Especially those who are disadvantaged, abused, or suffering from injustic. If you get to know me and my past (essential to getting to know me...) then you will understand why this is my passion.

How do I live it? I try to love every person I meet. Donate my time, energy, and what little money I have to good causes. I work with children trying to teach them to know themselves. No one can really be a "good person" without an understanding of who they are.

Others- I would like to try harder to really make an effort to learn about my friends passions in life. I feel like I am getting better at this.

When possible, it is an amazing thing to see multiple people working towards a shared passion. To be able to connect with another person or many others to really make a bigger and bigger difference in the world.

I LOVE the idea that this is the way to reduce conflict. In a single word to me it means - care. Care about yourself. Know yourself. Be confident with who you are and work towards your goals not just personally, but towards your passion. Then care about others. Learn their names. Their passions. Care about them as a person, not just a body who walked past you or you happen to run into. Look into their eyes, remember they have joys, struggles, family, and friends just like me. Ask honestly about how they are and listen to what they say. Even if you hate them for something they did, or for any other reason - remember they are another human being. As such they deserve to be treated as though they have something to offer the world. As an asset to the community. When everyone is given this kind of respect, reguardless of their past actions, we will have peace.

Prophetic? Idealistic?

don't agree?. . . eh, I still love you all the same.

Intertwined

So much always happens so fast. The summer is far gone and we are over halfway into the school semester. This week was a difficult week. Last weekend I went home to try to take care of some of my knee problems. But not today. Today I was reminded that there are better things on this earth.

Today we sang for the sunday school classes. Me and Zach and Grace with a guitar. They absolutely LOVED it! But the best part of it all was the teaching. What is the story about? What does it mean? How can we learn from it? So many things for all ages. . .

I love the song undignified. The idea of praising God with no barriers, with no other thoughts blocking the way is beautiful. Just plain, full out, personal, worship. Not something most of us are familiar with today. Being able to talk through the story with the kids and go crazy with them was wonderful. Once we were finished with the 2-5th graders we had about a 10 minute break before the little ones so we stopped in the nursery! Oh my did those kids have a blast too. The littlest ones weren't sure what to do or say - but you could tell they enjoyed it. It was heart warming and a lesson from them. Keep it simple. Remember how awesome God is and be thankful - good or bad - sing Hallelujahs.

By and By

I love the song "I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away. When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away". And this morning it is stuck in my head.

Admist all of the worries and all of the challenges in a day, a simple song like this reminds me of God's world. This is not a place I am destined to stay forever. One day I will fly home. More than half of the struggle of life can be changed with attitude. When I get stressed, frustrated, or upset if I look on the situation as a problem, it will be something I must solve or fix. Yet if I take the time to wrap my head around it as a challenge then it is no longer something I must struggle with, but work towards climbing over.

Smiles and laughter. Simple things to smile about every day. Enjoy the beautiful sunshine today. God Bless!

your sister in Christ~
Erin

Lost

There is just too much in my mind right now. I don't know how to feel, what to do, or what I want. There are too many paths to take I don't know how to get anywhere. There is just so much confusion and too much happening. I can't do it alone but I can't always have what I want either. There is not enough time to take every path and choices have to be made but what, and how?

I found this poem as well that i like. . .

God gave us this beautiful world and so many blessings that I often take off running with excitement towards all of the wonderful things to do. But i forget to take time to be with my Lord. To be thankful, to ask for guidence, to learn my path. I run until I can't see anything anymore and then i fall. Come to me Lord, come and forgive me ~ take me by the hand and open my eyes to your plans and your beauty. . .

Control

There are so many things to do in a day I find it difficult to handle it - yet I don't deal well with large periods of free time. I tend to go out and find something to get involved in and then I have too much to do later. Anyhow, with everything in life from doing homework, going to work, and balancing my checkbook with my social life on good days I feel as if I have some control over my life. Maybe this is decieving. But right now I feel like life is so far out of balance and there isn't much I can do to fix it. I am off to CWES (central wisconsin environmental station) tomorrow morning for 2 weeks of indepth field study, then home and back in a weekend before camp begins. June and the begining of July should be fine - just getting ready for Europe!

While I struggle with this not having control thing we go to see the new Narnia movie. Great film, granted it was alot of action and alittle much battle scenes for me. However, the message hit me hard. Peter, the oldest brother and high king, didn't appreciate having Prince Caspian around and the two struggled with who should lead and who's ideas they should follow. The main characters found themselves in a major jam and were trying to figure out what to do - it seemed obvious - they had to do something big to get the bad guys out of Narnia. Convinced that they could do it on their own, Peter leads the troops into a surprise battle that does not end well. Despite how hard they try, they really don't have control over the situation and trying harder isn't going to make it any better - really just worse. Luckily the littlest one, Lucy, remembers who they need to go when life's problems are bigger than they can handle.

With the little bits of control I have in my life - what to wear, what to do on the weekends, where to live, and many such things I feel like I am in control of my life. I find a place to live, work to earn money, and pay rent. Sometimes I get to prideful in how well I can make my life work. Especially when I just scrape by. This isn't what God wants for my life. He wants me to hand over all of my troubles to him and life my life entirely for him. Not just the parts I want - but control of all of me.

On days where I just can't do it anymore this seems the perfect solution. . . but what about when I'm doing good? Much harder. I feel like I'm entitled to some things. But how much better would my life be if I just prayed for help, for guidence, for God to lead me in my path? Things would be much smoother and not so questionable. Lord please help me remember who is really in control of this world - and where my place is next to you.

Peace,
Your sister in Christ~Erin

Bleeding Heart

Today my heart sinks as I read many of the commentaries from General Conference. I tend to be a person who wears my heart on my sleeve and right now it is bleeding from the hateful words thrown around on the blogosphere.

I will be honest - I believe that the God who created the world, you, me, and everything around us we see and don't see loves us unconditionally. UNCONDITIONALLY. And made us perfect just the way we are. Reguardless of color, nationality, economic status, health status, addictions, flaws, genders, and yes - sexual orientation. REGARDLESS.

This is a God too large for me to fully understand. This is a God without a gender. There is no he there is no she - God is outside of these boundries and boxes for humanity. But he made this creation and said it was good.

Sometimes I think we use words that we don't often consider the implications of. God is love. A very common verse many of us refer to. God's love is unconditional is another truth I can not imagine a christian disagreeing with. I feel however that many of my christian brothers and sisters today want to say that while God does love all of us we can only affirm those among us who fit into our groups. This is not unconditionally love. This is not true acceptance.

Never in a million years would I want everyone to share my views and opinions. God gave us all different minds for a reason. But I expect love back from my brothers and sisters who are of different mindsets than me. Love in the forms of respect, courtesy, honestly, and understanding. An understanding that while we may disagree neither of us has to be right or wrong. We don't have to leave the church and begin a new one. We don't have to accuse each other in our own denomination of being the anti-christ. We don't have to be enemies.

In my humble opinion Jesus taught a message of inclusion. He went to religious people and gatherings - he taught in the temple! Yet he also went and made friends with those who today would not be allowed in our churches. We have heard this again and again and I have seen improvement - however today there is not a spirit of love between us. Not a fire burning within us to go out and make disciples.

"Wesley believed that the living core of the Christian faith was revealed in Scripture, illumined by tradition, vivified in personal expereince, and confirmed by reason"

SCRIPTURE, TRADITION, EXPERIENCE, REASON - not one of these categories are easy answers. I don't want to be labeled a liberal, a fundatmentalist, or anything else. I don't want a watered down hipie Jesus hanging out and loving everyone.

I want a faith that challenges me to not only be a better person but to entirely rely on my God. I don't want a faith that makes me feel good about myself but a faith in which I can serve and make an impact in the lives of others. I don't want an easy formula of truth straight from the bible. I want a faith entangled in scripture, tradition, my experience, and my reason. A personal relationship with God in which I can live, breathe, and exist.

This is why I am United Methodist. Like any other religion it is not perfect, but the fellowship, group worship, and encouragement I recieve from my fellow methodists helps me grow in my faith. Some days it is easy, and others it is impossible, but everyday there is a hope that God is my rock and my salvation, comfort in the time of storm.

I can only hope that through the difficultness of life and legislation we as United Methodists can continue to grow in our faith, rely on God, and take on the challenge to unconditionally love.

Your sister in Christ~Erin

Coming Together

Today was our church Children's Musical "The Tale of Three Trees". As the director this has been my headache for the last 2 months. With very little attendance at rehearsals to miscommunication amoung the adult leaders- it has been a very difficult show. But today we did it for the congregation and it went GREAT!

We had 3 older children playing one of the trees and a few others taking leadership in key places. However this show was comprised of about 5 songs and not many of the children had much interest in singing.

With patience, work, and repetition we practiced and changed and added new children up to the end. Wednesday at rehersal we tried to put it together and it didn't go so well. However this morning - I'm not really sure what happened (for I was behind the alter and couldn't see), but God was with them and helped them share a great ministry story with the congregation.

Everyone seemed to love them and many people came and congratulated me and the kids. I breathe a great sigh of relief now. While I would do anything for the kids this was a rough road and I'm not to eager to do it again. However, I thank God for the places he has been able to use me at my local church and all of the work he has done to help these kids be in ministry.

"Through Christ anything is possible" Philippeans

your sister in Christ~Erin

Motivation

As I sit here contemplating my day there are so many thoughts rushing through my head. I have so much to do - so much to keep track of - so much going on. Yet for the past week or more I have lost all sense of motivation. Life has just been bogged down yet no matter what. . . I have always wanted to try. I'm not sure where that went?

However, yesterday I had a fantastic conversation with a couple of friends where I got to dream again. Remember why I was here at school. I want to make a difference in the world. I love kids- but I especially feel called to work with girls. So much happends in the mind of a girl, we all need a hand to hold as we are growing up. And with sharing all of those thoughts, my spark came back.

God has a funny way of walking with us. At times I almost feel as if he is never there - yet he throws a curveball in there every once and awhile just when we need it most. I had been neglecting my devotions and my spiritual life. Free will is a wonderful thing. . . but not very accountable. Yet no matter what I do I know that God will never leave me. And when I need it most in my life he will be there and reach me. Sometimes through an amazing conversation with friends and sometimes with challenges. But always something.

Again I find the joy in life and try to care (about classes too!). I find inspiration in one of my favorite flowers of spring . . . . an apple blossom!

With love and peace,

your sister in Christ - Erin

Struggle

I never have enough time, enough patience, enough something. I always want more. More time to study, more money for school, more more more. I struggle with being content with what god gave me. I love how this image shows a balance yet a struggle. If there is anything I can wish you, my friend, it is enough. . .


"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye.."

God Bless,

with love from your sister in Christ~Erin

Uncertain

There is so much to do yet. . . I lack modivation? Sigh, maybe - right now I would have to say my head is so very cloudy. It seems as if the world is just foggy in general. Like this picture:

So beautiful, yet so full of questions. Where to go next? Will I have to walk this path alone? What to do about the things that scare me? Is this MY path? This is a picture from a National Park in Germany - ironic, maybe I will walk this path on my trip this summer.

What do I do next? Walk right into this foggy path? Let things go the way they will? Wait? So much of my time is filled with questions and doubt - and drama. I want to find my way in the world. I don't want to wait for it to find me, yet their is so much uncertainty.

I never expected life to be easy - but I used to expect life to happen to me. I have some plans but I also like to be able to move with the flow. The control freak inside of me is freaking out. Do I have the courage to simply keep placing one foot in front of the other and look up at all that is around me? Maybe only time will tell. I wish a hand would reach out and we could go through the uncertainty together. There is always room for dreams and wishes - yet I will have to take them along with hope through this path today, alone.

Yet I take comfort in this song based on Isaiah 43:1 "Do not be afraid I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me, I will bring you home. I love you and you are mine."

Sometimes I get so caught up with my view of life that I forget to ask God to be involved. To hold my hand and show me the way. I pray someday I will get it.

God Bless,

your sister in Christ~Erin

Patience

My thoughts are overcroweded inside my head with frustrations, ideas, problems, and things to do. I have been sick lately and it's been really up and down sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I'm not. Lots going on with my life with school, working , planning summer and next school year, $, my family, and some hard things happening with some close friends. While all these things go through my head I must learn patience.


Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)


I must remember that God is in control and when trusted has a funny way of making things work out well. I feel sometimes like I have to plan everything, use my experience and skills to help things happen, and always be there doing the right thing. There are so many ideas of things I have always wanted for my life - so many thoughts about how I'd like to do things. Graduate. Get a real job - somewhere working with kids, maybe outside. . . maybe with a christian group? Find a great guy who loves me to have adventures with. So many plans yet little patience.

Classes will work out. Things will be good. However the more I try to do it on my own the more it flies away. I must learn to place my worries in God's hands and let them go. Here is a poem I have always liked. . . yet rarely really listened to :

Just for today: I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.

Just for today: I will be happy. This assume to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, *Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.*

Just for today: I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will Take my *luck* as it comes, and fit myself into it

Just for today:I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort. Thought and concentration.

Just for today: I will exercise my soul in three ways: it will do somebody a good turn and not get found out; if anybody know of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do-- just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt: they may be hurt but today I will not show it.

Just for today: I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low,be courteous,criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody else but myself.

Just for today: I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today: I will be un-afraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give back to me.

Your sister in Christ~ Erin

Expression

I have always been fond of words and sometimes very frustrated by words. I think both emotions come from my need to express myself. Everyone who knows me knows how much I like to chat, really I find alot of things very interesting and my favorite form of expression is linguistic. Often I will attempt to find just the right word for the moment- however when typing. . . spelling isn't my greatest strength. Anyhow, we took multiple intelligence tests today for one of my education classes and I scored highly linguistic and musical. If you can't use words to describe something, you can always color it with tone, rhythm, or pitch. I didn't score so well on Kinaesthetic or intrapersonal, and everything else was kinda in the middle.

I began to think more about expression and learning. It is facinating to think how well and how differently we all communicate. I found this fun picture this morning -



I think children can often be the easiest communicators, maybe not with words, but with feeling and expression. I also recieved a devotional this morning which encourages positive expressions and actions toward others.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
-Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)

WHEN our church's disaster-relief team arrived in a New Orleans neighborhood, the minister of the church there gave a brief overview of the area. Drive-by shootings occurred nightly; at least one person died each night. Since Hurricane Katrina, these incidents had diminished, but the team was advised to stay together and be aware of their surroundings. As we worked on one of the assigned houses, a car drove by and a group of local residents waved excitedly and yelled, "We love y'all!" This drive-by blessing was totally unexpected and a powerful moment for our team.

Many times since this incident, someone has given me a simple and sincere compliment that uplifted me and made my day brighter. Now, I make a conscious effort to find something good in others and mention it as I walk by them at work or as I pay at the store counter. Through these brief encounters, I hope to provide a "drive-by blessing" that can encourage others and lift them up.
Norma P. Marroquin (Texas, U.S.A.)

Many times we can ecourage others simply by our expression or a few kind words. Inflection is always something that I love as well - I think it is great to surprise someone by how you say "good morning" and not just the typical grumble we are all so used to. Meaning behind the words really connects expression with linguistics. It's all something interesting to think about and play with. . .

Hope you are staying warm in this negative degree weather! Think warm thoughts!

God Bless you and yours,
your sister in Christ~Erin