Friday, December 01, 2006

Doubt

Good story, read it carefully!

Matthew 14:22-33 (NRSV)

Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land, for the wind was against them. And early in the morning he came walking toward them on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, "Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid."

Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."


The typical understanding of this story talks about keeping our focus on God. But recently i heard a different interpretation. When I read this Peter sticks out to be at first as arrogant. Trying to do what Jesus does? But then i remind myself, we all have a different interpretation of Jesus, and Peter's was difiatley different than mine, which is okay! Then as the story goes on I begin to relate to Peter. I want to be like Jesus, maybe not walk on water, but have compassion for all people, serve and love everyone especially the outcasts of society. But here's what catches me, Peter doubted HIS capability. He didn't just take his eyes off of Jesus, he doubted what he could do.

As christians we all believe that God is amazing and powerful. We don't doubt what he can do, we don't really find fault with him. We doubt ourselves and find fault in ourselves saying that we can't possibly do that! It can be anything, not feeling as if we are smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, a good enough christian, and many many more. Often we begin to feel a call in our lives to do something, possibly for God or possiby just to do something good, to make a difference. But we doubt ourselves.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the most high God. Your playing small doesn't serve this world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you..." - Nelson Mandela

Keep your eyes on Jesus not in the mirror. YOU CAN DO IT. You are amazing, not because you try, because God made you that way, with a purpose. Let him use you. Sure it's scary. But nothing good comes without a risk. Trust him and take it!

God Bless!
your sister in Christ~Erin

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

it's realivly ironic that you wrote this today. i needed it though and i THANK YOU!. keep it up this blog is AMAZING! keep living for Him

courtney merrick winegar said...

thank you Erin, i needed this too. sometimes the words dont come to mind, i cant think and sometimes i doubt more than i say thank you. i hope you are well. thank you. we are so SO BLESSED