I am... good tired.

Hello world, it's been a while.  Almost a year actually.

I miss this kind of reflective writing, but as I struggle to get through all the reading and writing for grad school, keep myself, my clothes, and my apartment clean, and spend time with those I love in my life... there just hasn't seemed to be time for this.  Seasons.  Life comes in seasons.

So much has changed, I'm questioning starting a new blog.

This is a great place for the theological reflections I've been so blessed to have over coffee and tea with friends and colleagues alike over the past 3 years.  Yet, there are other things...

So I am discerning on how best that looks.  I know in my own head and beliefs that everything is interconnected to itself.  Aldo Leopold had once said, everytime I try to focus on one thing (animal, plant, etc) it just ends up tied to everything around it.  Theology is so similar.  God is completely wrapped up in our lives.. in our emotions, our thoughts, our underlying systems and ideas.  Theology is connected to sociology, psychology, economics, politics, and health care.

I'm still on track to be an Ordained Deacon in the United Methodist Church.  I'm going to Rome for 2 weeks this May for a cross cultural trip with school.  I will not graduate from Garrett-Evangelical this year - but I will next!  After this semester I will have 3 more classes and CPE.

I may take a full time job.  I may not.

I am an aunt to the most beautiful baby girl in the world.  (okay, so I'm biased.)

I'm in love with an amazing, intelligent, wonderful man who adores and challenges me.  

I'm being pushed and encouraged to articulate how I understand the movements of God in the world by amazing and brilliant professors.

I have a great job, blessed to be a part of a community of tutors, families, and especially children who are creative, playful, and full of life.  After School is a amazing place of learning, mentoring, and crazy energy.  Summer Camp is full of excitement and new relationships, a place to relax and just learn how to be ourselves.  And my staff, co-workers, and supervisor are phenomenal.

and, I'm tired.

A good, feel great about it all, tired.  

I'm also scared, uncertain about the future, frustrated with situations in my daily life I can't change, and deeply saddened by the suffering and violence that are happening in the world.

I am learning to articulate that life is about living in the tensions.  Walking besides others, not in front or behind, not fixing, but listening and supporting.  I do the work I can, and relish in the successes we have together.  We celebrate the joys, and together we lament the sorrows.

It is the relationships that get us through it all.  There are not answers to the difficult questions we wrestle with about systematic injustice, racism, poverty, senseless violence, or so many others.  There are just those we love, those we work beside, and so many others.  Today we do the best we can, and then we go to sleep.  Tomorrow we will do it again.

I am so happy.  I am living into so many aspects of who I am and who I want to be.  Together.  

In peace and love,
~Erin