Alone

There are many time of my life where I have felt alone and many times where I have been surrounded by others - family, friends, strangers.  It is a wonderful feeling for me to walk into a room of people I've never met and feel comfortable and loved.  I have often felt this at church conferences or sunday services.  

Yet the past few months have also been a time where I have felt very alone.  I try to remind myself often that there is nothing wrong with being single, and I can be very content being single.  Could it be the combination of cultural conditioning and societal expectations?  I just love the comments from my dad... "Are you dating anyone yet?  You're getting to the age where you should think about settling down."  

At 22, I have lots of life to live and there is so much I have to learn about myself first.  For awhile now I have had friends encouraging me to take time for myself.  Time for myself generally includes being with and/or doing something for someone else.  However I am slowly learning the peacefulness and beautifulness of time alone with God.  

Jesus spent lots of the time we know of serving others constantly.  A combination of serving, preaching, and teaching along with walking places he must have gotten tired.  Yet he often takes time alone to go and pray -    

Matthew 14:22
[ Walking on the Water ] As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.
Matthew 14:21-23 (in Context) Matthew 14 (Whole Chapter)

I love this image.  Yet it is so hard.  Hard to have a relationship with someone you can't see.  But amazing when the effort is there...

At the same time there are images in the bible which push me back to wishing I wasn't alone... 

 Ecclesiastes 9-12

^9-10 It's better to have a partner than go it alone. 
   Share the work, share the wealth. 
   And if one falls down, the other helps, 
   But if there's no one to help, tough! 

 ¹¹ Two in a bed warm each other. 
   Alone, you shiver all night. 

 ¹² By yourself you're unprotected. 
   With a friend you can face the worst. 
   Can you round up a third? 
   A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped.

So it can be difficult to read comforts like this and be happy being alone.  So for another inspirational role model I look to Mother Teresa. Spending most of her time serving the poor and dying in Calcutta must be a difficult task.  How does one do this without burning out?  What is her secret?  Spending daily alone time God, praying AND listening provided her with God's love and energy to serve the forgotten and inspire us all through her example and teachings.  

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart.  - Mother Teresa

*Dear Lord, help me to seek you with my whole heart and take pleasure in the time you have given me now to get to know you more.*  

your sister in Christ

~Erin