Struggle

I never have enough time, enough patience, enough something. I always want more. More time to study, more money for school, more more more. I struggle with being content with what god gave me. I love how this image shows a balance yet a struggle. If there is anything I can wish you, my friend, it is enough. . .


"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye.."

God Bless,

with love from your sister in Christ~Erin

Uncertain

There is so much to do yet. . . I lack modivation? Sigh, maybe - right now I would have to say my head is so very cloudy. It seems as if the world is just foggy in general. Like this picture:

So beautiful, yet so full of questions. Where to go next? Will I have to walk this path alone? What to do about the things that scare me? Is this MY path? This is a picture from a National Park in Germany - ironic, maybe I will walk this path on my trip this summer.

What do I do next? Walk right into this foggy path? Let things go the way they will? Wait? So much of my time is filled with questions and doubt - and drama. I want to find my way in the world. I don't want to wait for it to find me, yet their is so much uncertainty.

I never expected life to be easy - but I used to expect life to happen to me. I have some plans but I also like to be able to move with the flow. The control freak inside of me is freaking out. Do I have the courage to simply keep placing one foot in front of the other and look up at all that is around me? Maybe only time will tell. I wish a hand would reach out and we could go through the uncertainty together. There is always room for dreams and wishes - yet I will have to take them along with hope through this path today, alone.

Yet I take comfort in this song based on Isaiah 43:1 "Do not be afraid I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me, I will bring you home. I love you and you are mine."

Sometimes I get so caught up with my view of life that I forget to ask God to be involved. To hold my hand and show me the way. I pray someday I will get it.

God Bless,

your sister in Christ~Erin

Patience

My thoughts are overcroweded inside my head with frustrations, ideas, problems, and things to do. I have been sick lately and it's been really up and down sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I'm not. Lots going on with my life with school, working , planning summer and next school year, $, my family, and some hard things happening with some close friends. While all these things go through my head I must learn patience.


Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)


I must remember that God is in control and when trusted has a funny way of making things work out well. I feel sometimes like I have to plan everything, use my experience and skills to help things happen, and always be there doing the right thing. There are so many ideas of things I have always wanted for my life - so many thoughts about how I'd like to do things. Graduate. Get a real job - somewhere working with kids, maybe outside. . . maybe with a christian group? Find a great guy who loves me to have adventures with. So many plans yet little patience.

Classes will work out. Things will be good. However the more I try to do it on my own the more it flies away. I must learn to place my worries in God's hands and let them go. Here is a poem I have always liked. . . yet rarely really listened to :

Just for today: I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.

Just for today: I will be happy. This assume to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, *Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.*

Just for today: I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will Take my *luck* as it comes, and fit myself into it

Just for today:I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort. Thought and concentration.

Just for today: I will exercise my soul in three ways: it will do somebody a good turn and not get found out; if anybody know of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do-- just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt: they may be hurt but today I will not show it.

Just for today: I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low,be courteous,criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody else but myself.

Just for today: I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today: I will be un-afraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give back to me.

Your sister in Christ~ Erin