ADHD Student, ADHD Church?

Like many of my classmates, I can't seem to focus on one thing long enough to complete it.. at least well.  I have a history of overcommitment, but - I know this and I try to work on it.  So perhaps 5 classes and field education in a local church was overly ambitious... God grant me strength.

Examples of my lack of focus this morning...
Instead of finishing a one page stream of conscious reflection on a class I
- wrote one paragraph
- looked at a RELEVANT youtube video
- looked at 3 irrelevant videos...
- checked Facebook at least 3 times...
- looked at every new e-mail that came in...
- helped my roommate with her reflection...
- looked up the topic in the hymnal AND the book of worship...
- started this blog post (who know's when I'll finish it)
- finished a cup of tea.

and = still haven't gone back to my paragraph.

The frustrating part is - it's not like I don't like this class and don't have anything to say.  There is no good reason I shouldn't just buckle down and finish it - then move on to other work I have.  In order to fulfill the other commitments I have today, I really need to get some real schoolwork done.

It begs the question, WHY Erin?

Okay - so many of my lovely friends out there will simply shake their heads at me and say "DO YOUR HOMEWORK." and that's that.  However, my theological/philosophical friends will appreciate or at least accept my current desire to unpack this - and in terms of the church...

There are so many distractions (like my above list and MORE) that pull us as individuals away from our focus as well as the church.  They seem to promise happiness, or at least immediate gratification or humor - perhaps actually attached to our focus references.  With the local churches I have participated in or been witness to, this is a common struggle.  When we ARE working together and striving towards a goal and everything seems to be moving along so well... then we get side swiped by one of these distractions and BAM!  no work gets done.

Distractions in the church Erin?  Like what?  Practicality is one of the biggest - the family standing in front of you struggling with child care and rent while serving in church leadership, decorating for the community meal in the fellowship hall this wednesday evening, attending/supporting a school event, starting this fundraiser or supporting this organization, forming a new committee to address the problems of _________ population within the church (young families, youth, college students - fill in the blank).  GOOD THINGS.  All of them.  However it's not just small congregations who find themselves not being able to be all things to all people, and it's not just clergy either.

Perhaps the answer to my dilemma is simple, perhaps it is not.  While being at school I have been encouraged not to try and "fix" every problem I see, but to really look at it and see what's happening.  This is my core understanding of the different between justice and compassion.  Sometimes, we see a need and can easily fulfill it - compassion.  Ex: feeding hungry people, giving away clothes your children have grown out of to a family who needs them.  Justice - looking at the issues behind WHY these people are hungry, WHY this family is struggling to provide clothing.  It can be simple - kids grow fast.  However, the systematic problems of inequity and injustice run deep and if we simply put bandaids of compassion over them - we are only placating ourselves.  Bandaids have a good purpose, but sometimes we cover wounds with a bandaid that need a doctor.

So... now what?  I do the only thing I know how to do - refocus.  Not on my paper (hehehe) but on something more important yet ultimately tied to my paper - my love.  My all.  My purpose.  My God.  I indulge not in just a piece of chocolate, or today a cough drop, but in a few precious moments of spiritual practices that will strengthen my connection with my creator.  If it's not all for God, then we have lost our focus and will only continue to bounce around.

Church - let's all take a break from the business and just breath in the Holy Spirit and pray.  Or draw.  Or sing.  Often.  Together and apart.  While we sit and while we stand.  Let's teach each other and our children how to function out of God instead of trying to reach God on our own.  Let us be used.  The energy flow matters.

Peace to you.

your sister in Christ ~Erin

Reservoir

“If then you are wise, you will show yourself rather as a reservoir than as a canal. For a canal spreads abroad water as it receives it, but a reservoir waits until it is filled before overflowing, and thus communicates, without loss to itself, its superabundant water. In the Church at the present day, we have many canals, few reservoirs.” – Bernard of Clairvaux


I love the church, my church, the United Methodist Church, and I have a fondness for the ecumenical movement.  
I am a young adult.  
Today, that isn't the most common combination out there.  
I hear, read, and see a lot of conversation about what we as a church are doing wrong, or ways to improve, or talk about SIMPLY living out the gospel instead of getting caught up in the bureaucracy of "religion."  I do worry about the future of my church.  (hence why I read the blogs/have the conversations)  Yet I'm not about to jump ship - I'm actually planning on staying aboard (and getting ordained!).  
Culture, context, social location, I'm learning are all major factors in a person seeking and accepting the grace God offers us all.  And even more so - having one's basic needs met.  Without clean water, a steady and strong roof over your families head, access to education - there may be more important things to deal with than a confusing idea of salvation.  
With the advent of the internet at our fingertips, everything from ancient philosophers teachings to Pinterest boards of "Outdoor Inspirations" are even more available than the public library.  Social Media is an integral marketing aspect of our ministries and our churches.  Yet I hear many young adults asking for simplistic ways to "change the world" and spouting a desire to serve others.  While honorable (and I do share these sentiments) I also have a firm belief that true and deep faith (not cheap grace) come with involvement in a christian community.  Discipleship matters.  Our language matters.  From how we talk about God to how we talk to each other.  These concepts are not always simplistic, but are what Jesus calls us to - true relationship.  
We, and when I say we I mean all generations of the church, must respect one another and the wisdom and experience we all share.  Opting out of "religion" isn't the answer.  Using "hip and contemporary" movie clips or music in worship isn't the answer (yet engaging worship is great!) deep relationships are what we all desire, meeting peoples needs is what we are each called to do, and supporting each other in community is a part of our human nature.  
What will I do?  Continue to be idealist I hope.  Continue to seek God and study those who have gone before me to become a reservoir that can last - not a river of the moment.  


May God's peace be with you on your journey.  
your sister in Christ~Erin 

Rhythm of Life

For one of my classes we were assigned to construct a "Rule of Life".  Our group threw out the idea of a rhythm of life a little better than a rule... but anyway.  The idea comes from the Rule of St. Benedict, but many traditions follow this practice.  It's a way of committing to yourself and others you choose to help you be accountable a pattern of spiritual practices (disciplines) you feel called/drawn to during this season of your life.  They are often patterned off a scripture passage as well...

Here's mine! 

Rhythm of Life  

Season: Spring 2012

Walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ecclesiastes 4: 1-3

At this time in my life I am being called and guided by God to GROW.  To honestly put more work into adding more structure (roots) to my life, my every day.  I recognize that in several different areas: 

Walking with God: 

-      * to walk with God, to be in relationship with God requires immersion in scripture, something my life has been lacking lately.  I would like to make a goal to read scripture (not for class) 5 days a week, particularly in the morning. 

-    *to focus on and purse my calling, recognizing and accepting it fully as where I need to be right now and dedicating the time necessary to work towards the steps of my education and ordination. (weekly) 

With humility, gentleness, and patience:

-      * by immersing myself daily in scripture I hope to reduce my personal stress and put more effort into bearing these fruits, and grow in humility through reflection and journaling each evening to process through the choices I made each day.

-      * by meditating at least 3 times a week to rest and be patient.

Love and Unity: 

-       *I will strive to be a connection and to share the love of God to everyone I have the opportunity to meet.  Specifically I want to be present in each conversation routine and meaningful, as well as mundane or new.  Each evening I will daily pray for others in my life. 

-      * I feel called to live simply, so that others may simply live.  To love my neighbors in such a way that I am an educated consumer and am tuned in to the hurting world around me and across the globe.

Wish me luck!  

your sister in Christ,
Erin 

Listen, then speak

I haven't been a very active blogger lately.  Sorry for those of you who have been requesting posts.  :(  When I was in my first semester of my undergraduate degree (in La Crosse!)  I had a very wise philosophy professor.  To me, he was captivating.  To the rest of the class, he seemed to speak Greek.  Soon, I tutored, especially for his sections.  I continued to take classes with him, and other philosophy professors and have grown to LOVE philosophy over the years.  Yet there is one lesson he taught me early on that I will never forget.

One day in class, many students were grasping the concept he was putting forth, yet didn't agree so were offering their opinions.  The professor was growing particularly frustrated and even angry.  He was trying to get us to talk about the steps of an argument - not whether it was TRUE or not, but learn to disconnect the person from their ideas, and the ideas into a logical progression of an argument.  Yet for freshman, this was WAY to much abstract thought to handle, and his reference to the fact that there could potentially be a gigantic purple spotted pink elephant in the room that almost no one noticed just made most people think this man should be institutionalized.

Finally in utter frustration, he stepped back, took a breath, and said "You do not have the right to your own opinion, until you can correctly articulate the thoughts of those who have walked before you."

Those words I wrote in my beat up notebook and have reflected on many times since.  There is so much wisdom in the world, in many different forms.  Books and writings on early philosophy and theology from great minds such as Anthansius and Plato.  The daily wisdom from my great grandmother who laughs at me as she advises me on flowers she thinks I can take care of.  Quotes and philosophies based down through generations and made popular by a pretty design and pinned on Pinterest.  I am forever amazed at the knowledge and wisdom in the world, of yet I hardly understand the tiniest fraction.

So lately, I have been reflecting on the wisdom and knowledge presented to me through professors, textbooks, and other students as I study (albeit part time and online) through Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary.  I shall try, both for the benefit of me, and you - my lovely friends, to make more of an effort to share my thoughts and journeys as I have loved and appreciated reading about yours.

Blog on!

May God's unconditional peace be with you today and always,
Your sister in Christ ~Erin