Sculpting connections

As I read Matthew 22 some connections came up in my mind... Give to Caesar what is Caesars...

and give to God what is Gods... What is God's?  Our gifts, talents, and service... if made in clay/playdough -

One of mine is teaching kids about the earth... like the fact that earthworms are invasive to North America!  And one way I like to teach is by using games and toys to help be tactile and learn through experience.  =)  What would you sculpt as an example of something that you could particularly give to God?

Another theme of Matthew is that of a corrupt leadership in the church.  I was struck by this passage especially:  Matthew 23.13 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.^[c]"  

Have you ever felt as if someone in the church shut the door to heaven on you?
  

I keep a candle by my bed and near the window.  Matthew 24 sounds a lot like prophesy with a message loud and clear - keep watch.  


your sister in Christ~Erin

Issues I don't have!

Thursdays I am devoting to being particularly thankful.  Today as I read Matthew 19-21 I am very thankful that I am not dealing with many of the issues the people of Matthew were dealing with.

Thank you Lord I am not trying to get a divorce - (Divorce, Matt. 19.4)
Thank you Lord I am not rich - (On being perfect, Matt 19.21)
Thank you Lord I am content - (Parable of the Laborers, Matt. 20.1-16)
Thank you Lord I have my sight!  - (Blind man, Matt. 20.34)
Thank you Lord I am not a slave - (Parable of the Vineyard, Matt. 21.33-41)
Thank you Lord I am not a hypocritical scribe, priest, or pharisee - (Plot against Jesus, Matt. 21.23)

There are many cute sayings, songs, poems etc. to help us remember to count our blessings - one of my favorite songs "Count your Blessings" from White Christmas.  "When I'm worried and can not sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep"

A more modern and comical song with the same idea is found in a song from Avenue Q called "Schadenfreude"

Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy
I'll say.
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me...
Happy!
Happy?!
Sorry, Nicky, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
It's...
Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you

Thank you Lord for the blessings I take for granted.

your sister in Christ~ Erin

Worldly Children

I think it's fair to say that everyone is a sucker for kids.  They are so cute!  We feel a tug of our heart by the cute things they do and are outraged by anyone who would wish any of them harm.  It seems in Chapter 18 of Matthew, that Jesus feels the same way.  Children are precious and we mush protect them and love them.

My heart is drawn to children and youth.  I love spending time with them - playing and teaching.  Especially the very young children.  They are just so cuddly and will just reach out and love you.  I used to look forward to my time working in the nursery every week because I knew the kids would make me feel better.

It is the pictures and stories of children hurting that reach out and touch our hearts the most.  This week our world is hurting from the terrible disaster that has happened in Haiti.  Disaster relief and volunteers have been working to help those injured, homeless, and hungry to simply survive until lives can begin to be put back together.  Here are some stories, but think about them along with Jesus's words "and whoever welcomes a child in my name, welcomes me"







One patient is a 2-month-old baby with severe burns over 50 percent of her body. She's really not drinking that well. She's at risk for dehydration and infection. One second she's up, and then not responsive and listless the next - she need better care. This is a baby that would be in an intensive care unit in the United States.

We're here with 15-year-old Lovely. Two days ago she was found under rubble, three days into the disaster - she had a corpse on top of her. The Miami Search and Rescue Team actually went in and had to amputate her arm in the field.

We then operated on her and resuscitated her on a folding card table under a tree. She's alive, but infection is setting in - we're going to the operating table to clean out the wound and hopefully she'll do OK.

Better news today for a two month old who was trapped beneath rubble for four days. We spent an hour resuscitating her and then she was airlifted out to Miami's Jackson Memorial hospital where's in critical but stable condition.



With prayers for all those suffering and grateful for my own blessings, 
your sister in Christ~Erin

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tuesdays is a day to note a talented person out there.  Today I chose Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. because while reading Matthew 15 - the parable of what pollutes your life I was reminded of a letter written by Dr. King that was read at a celebration for him yesterday (Mr. Luther King Day)

Matthew quotes Jesus to say that it's not what you swallow that pollutes your life, but that which you "vomit" - is the text used in the message =).  Saying, it's not about what you hear and experience that can hurt you, but the things that you say come from the heart and are things you truly understand and believe.  These are the things that connect to you the greatest.

I was thrilled reading this because I often worry about the influences of things that I have been around or study.  I have heard often times to be careful of your company and the people you spend your time with as they rub off on you.  Yet I believe strongly in tolerance and getting to know others- especially those different from you.

(forgive me I will quote more directly soon...)
The letters that spoke to me were exchanged between a Jewish doctor and Dr. King asking his opinion of a statement in the Southern Baptist Conference pamphlet.  It had a statement referring to the 5 million plus Jews of our nation as "lost souls" because they haven't experienced the saving grace of Jesus Christ.  Dr. King replied that he did not agree with the statement.  Furthermore he hopes for a day when people can understand that "God has more in his fold" than just their group - i.e. Christians.

Spoke to my heart.

God Bless you and yours,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Taffy

Today I find myself in an old personal struggle.  There are some verses here in Matthew that speak to my heart and give me peace.  And there are some verses that twist knots in my stomach.

12.36 "I tell you, on the day of judgement you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter"

11.28"Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

10.24"Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth, I have not come to bring peace but a sword"

12.50 "For whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother"

I feel pulled like taffy...

Lord,
Please grant me the wisdom to understand your word and how it should guide my life.  Amen.

your sister in Christ~Erin

Dr. Jesus

Dr. Jesus has created a very simple pattern in these three chapters - teach, heal, love.  (kinda reminds me a bit of Dr. Phil)  So many things stick out to me in these chapters I'm not sure where to go...


To start, somedays I just LOVE the Message.  Reading these chapters brought a smile to my face today how straightforward and abrupt it can be.   Matthew 9.^34"The Pharisees were left sputtering, "Hocus-pocus. It's nothing but hocus-pocus. He's probably made a pact with the Devil.""  Really?  It put an interesting new spin on the passages for me.  Often while reading I have this problem of zoning out, it's a combination of "hey, I've sung that text...and getting lost in the music" and "I've heard this story a million times".  Reading the message helps me get out of that frame of reference.  


Yet while reading the end of chapter 8 I came upon the story about the demons and the pigs.  I don't ever remember hearing this story before!  I was so taken a back I read it in NIV to be sure of what I was reading!  I wonder why we don't talk about this story....?


A real issue I have with these passages.  All this talk about demons and evil spirits.  Jesus heals people from them all the time.  What were they?  Why doesn't the church talk about demons today?  I heard the other day that Wicca is one of the fastest growing religions in the US.  What does the church say about demons and evil spirits? 


So I asked Jeeves.  I found an essay on biblepages.web on the subject (please forgive my summary of it below).  Interestingly enough it notes that the King James Version (translation) does not use the word "demon" anywhere.  Instead it uses evil spirits and devils.  Then they look into the Greek uses of the word compared to modern understandings - which are quite different.  Greeks seem to refer to demons more as simply a diety or power from the heavens - not always in a bad sense but not always good either.  The essay goes on to say that the bible doesn't really go into a lot of detail about what demons really are probably because we as humans can't really "cope" with them.  They are dangerous and we should avoid them.  Unfortunately I tend to be more curious than that... perhaps not always a good trait.  


We do know however that Jesus (especially in these chapters!) healed broken bodies and illnesses -external and internal.  Some scholars have wondered if the demons that plagued people are what we consider today mental illnesses.  Who knows for sure?  However I know a lot of young people today seem to be interested in knowing more about the power out there in the universe - of God and of other things.  Sometimes I wonder if we as Christians should be more concerned about the hebe jebe things that go bump in the night or not?  


Thoughts?


God Bless you and yours, 
your sister in Christ~Erin  

Guidelines, but don't worry

When working with groups of students of group initiatives and team building I often want to throw in a twist, something I call "Strange and Wonderful".   For example if a group needs an extra challenge I may stop them and say - "Something strange and wonderful just happened!  While hiking in the jungle Johnny got bit by a titsy fly and his tounge swelled up so much, he can't talk!"

Really it's just a way for me to throw in crazy things and keep my kids on their toes.  =)

I have to admit I was a bit overwhelmed by chapters 4-6 today.  Starting with Jesus being tempted, I can relate to that.  He is always so strong and in control.  Then moving into the beginning of his ministry, calling his first 4 disciples, (can you imagine being the father James and John just left behind!), and soon crowds are following him and he is healing people left and right and teaching.

Then starts the teachings - the beattitudes, lots of reference to the laws of Moses, mostly very straight forward dos and don't.  But they aren't simple things, they are difficult.  I really struggle with some of it - divorce, wealth and possessions, love everyone, and always give of yourself beyond expectations.  Do all of this to be holy.  At least that's what I get from it, that it's all about righteousness and holiness.

And at the end of it is my favorite verse,  6.34 "So do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.  Today's trouble is enough for today."

So after all of Jesus's teachings on how to be a righteous person comes "don't worry".  Ah!  So I strive to  be more like Charlie Brown in the image above, enjoying the moment, being thankful, and not worrying.  We'll see how long it lasts...

(don't you have to plan for the future?  I mean, I'm really good at worrying.  About others, about myself, about what is coming up next.  Not so much that it's a problem, right?  Should there be more of a balance?  There are times where I hate Benjamin Franklins quote "God helps those who help themselves", mostly when it is used as an excuse not to help others.  Yet, shouldn't I make plans for my own life?  Plan to have nice work clothes, worry about how I will afford groceries... you know?  Sigh...

So to connect the dots-
As I try my best to be holy and righteous, to help me remind myself not to worry too much, I have a little worry statue near my bed.  He reminds me to give my worries up to God, because they don't do me any good.  (and he is a little strange... but wonderful!)

God Bless your and yours ~ your sister in Christ, Erin

Genealogy - dreams - murder = hope

I was very amused by this.  Also interested to note (from my Oxford Bible) that in that crazy long list of names are 4 names of women!  (very unusual for the time period.  Congrats for the honorable mentions to Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba -the wife of Uriah.





                                           





Growing up in the church, I have many fond memories of hearing the christmas story leading up to Jesus's birth.  Reading today in matthew I noticed that their is very little mentioned of Mary really and the focus is on Joseph.  He seems like an honorable and nice guy.  Yet I am a little jealous that it was considered commonplace for an angel to visit you in your dream and share God's will.

The story in chapter two always reminds me of the terrible things happening to children in our world.  How can anyone target such innocents?  The scene of Herod's men killing all the boys under the age of two in Bethlehem is illustrated very well here...

And todays reading end with hope and the symbol for new life.  A beautiful ending considering that through this time I hope to open up a new life for myself.  (Random fact:  I have been thinking about getting a dove tattoo for years.)

Inspired and Alone

Often I wonder, what is wrong with me?

Over the years I have come to understand that the true answer to this question is nothing.  Yet I have also come to accept that there are just things about me that make me different from many others that I am surrounded by.  Ironically enough there are many out there with the same thought.  So much so in fact, that it is actually a very common thing.  Hmmm.... interesting.

Some distinguishing character traits then -
I analyze everything (possibly too much)
I am an EXTRAVERT - i think i could honestly always be with people and never need alone time =)
I am passionate.  I believe that if you are going to do something, you should do it for a purpose!
I will give of myself to anyone in need - even if I don't know them at all and to the point where I often find myself in trouble of taking care of my own things.
I am a little person with little ears and appreciate good and proper language.
I observe people and often adapt myself to fit with them.
I care.  especially about people.
I love music and express myself often through it better than words.
I don't enjoy current popular music and don't know many current famous people.
I am a hopeless romantic and dream that one day someone will sweep me off my feet in song.
I have a heart for the children of the world.  especially those who are suffering.
I love to cook... and enjoy the food with others.
I am a teacher - of anything I know how to do.
I love worship.  of all kinds.

These are things that make me... me.  Anyone out there who knows me, feel free to comment on my accuracy of my self analysis.  And I don't think that those things really make me all that different of a person, yet often I feel like I am alone in many ways.  Mostly just how I think.  That's a huge part of why I didn't pursue an education degree - I firmly believe that a school should be all about the students, and todays public schools are simply not.  They are more about structure and theory.  So I chose camp, where I can reach people on a more personal level.

When I am feeling all alone in the world I often look towards my heros and others who inspire me to keep going.  Reading the works of Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, Maya Angelou, Jane Austen, friends in the church, and many on the Methodist blogs - their insights and thoughts simply inspire me.  I feel as if I am connected to people with similar thoughts and passions and am encouraged.  Yet at the same time I can get so pulled into the wonderful things they are saying and get lost in it.  Oye vey!

At the same time it seems to be such a strong pendulum back and forth.  I feel this, and I feel that.  Sometimes I get fed up with just how much I FEEL!  Can you help how you feel though?  Am I just naturally that dramatic inside?  I love one of the scenes from one of the newer Harry Potter movies where Hermione is describing to Harry and Ron just how much Cho is feeling between her sadness over her dead boyfriend Cedric, to feeling like she betrayed him by kissing and liking Harry, not to mention liking Harry in general, and not knowing if she can believe Harry about Lord Voldemort being back, scared about if he is back or what would happen if he came back... And the boys tell Hermione that simply no one can feel that much inside one person - they'd simply explode!  Perhaps it is a girl thing?

I thank God for making me who he did - and look forward to the journey of self discovery, especially tied in with my calling.  Yet at the same time... I think we are all entitled to be a little frustrated with it at times as well.

So I have been praying for clarity and wisdom to discern my path and it has led me to the same answer - get back into scripture.  Therefore I am asking a friend to help keep me accountable and read with me daily, and discuss things here.  Let's see where it goes!!  I am feeling drawn to the gospels right now, as well as trying to do larger chunks compared to smaller passages.

You are invited to take this journey along with us!

Tomorrows reading:  Matthew 1-3

Why we serve

I have so many thoughts in regards to the following passages:
Isaiah 58:6-10

⁶ "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
       to loose the chains of injustice
       and untie the cords of the yoke,
       to set the oppressed free
       and break every yoke?
 ⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
       and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
       when you see the naked, to clothe him,
       and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
 ⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
       and your healing will quickly appear;
       then your righteousness ^[a] will go before you,
       and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
 ⁹ Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
       you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
       "If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
       with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
 ¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
       and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
       then your light will rise in the darkness,
       and your night will become like the noonday.


and the ever popular Matthew 25: 41-46

⁴¹"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴²For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
 ⁴⁴"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
 ⁴⁵"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
 ⁴⁶"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."


There are many oppressed, hurting, poor, suffering, and hungry people out there.  1 out of every 6 people in the world goes hungry.  Unacceptable.  The bible specifically speaks to us about those who are less fortunate imploring those of us with more to give, to help, to serve.  My question is why?  For our own salvation such as the parable of Matthew 25 refers?  I thought that our salvation was from the grace of God and not tied to any of our actions.  


Just a random thought of mine.  Really I believe that as Christians we should do all we can to relieve the suffering of others and I live my life this way.  Our ministry is to make disciples for Christ and spread the good news of God's love.  To love others is to help them, especially if they are in need.  But like all things I need to have a clear understanding of why I do something.  


I serve because I want to spread God's love.  I know that there is nothing I can do to earn God's grace and that none of my actions can even come close to paying the debt for my salvation.  But the passage in Matthew makes me think twice about that.  I want to be a sheep and be saved.  I think we all do, but I don't serve the poor, the hungry, the sick, a stranger, or a prisoner because I want to be saved and I don't believe that serving others will earn our salvation.  So what do we make of the passage?  


Would love any insights.  I'm not saying don't serve the needy - I'm just asking what is the underlying purpose behind it, for isn't that the key?  

Blurry...

I love to read - to gain new ideas, new thoughts.  Yet I have many in my head already.  Beliefs that were instilled by my parents at a young age, things society has taught me, facts and conclusions I have reached on my own through experience and study.  However they always change and evolve.

I can't help it that I analyze and think.  Over the years I have come to accept it as the way I am "wired".  God gave me this mind, so rather that go crazy, I must write, talk, share.  Sometimes this is pleasant, and sometimes not.  But it is me, and I will go forth.

My head is currently so very blurry.  I have been blog surfing tonight and there are so many different thoughts I don't know where to go.  Have you ever experienced that?  When your beliefs are being questioned and you wonder if you got it wrong somewhere?  Like the bee and the flowers, are there parts of the picture out of focus for me?

With religion there is also so much emotion.  In church a few weeks ago we discussed that many christians are still eating proverbial "baby food".  A thought that I question is, have we as Christians, fallen away from our most basic beliefs?  Now I would not describe myself as conservative, but I would disagree with the statement that "all faiths lead to heaven".

I struggle with biblical statements such as Jesus saying "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth.  i did not come to bring peace, but a sword."  Matthew 10:34.  Yet Psalm 34:14 advises "Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it."  There is much I struggle with in the bible.  In the old testament God's wrath condemning so many or encouraging the genocide of a people.  In the new testament, Paul's teaching in Romans 2:6-7 "God will give to each person according to what he has done.  To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life."

Quite a different belief from my understanding that "God is love" from Paul in 1 John 4, 13-16.  "We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.  If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him".  

That is the faith I identify with.  Yet is it true?  Is it real?  Or is it just a piece of the puzzle with the rest blurry???  I understand that many are nervous about the fate, or path, they have seen the church take recently.  I don't know what is right.  I hope to gain more insight and knowledge through study, prayer, and reflection with God as well as with others.

Through all of it I hope to share the gospel as I understand it.  Jesus Christ came to earth as the son of God.  Fully human and fully divine (don't ask me!).  He preached and served all who would listen about the kingdom of God.  It was not just an easy path of love and happiness, but it brings eternal life and is for anyone who is willing to accept God.  We must all continue to study and pray to keep walking a Christian life.  And through it all we will never be alone, because the creator of the universe loves us.  Loves me.  Limited sight and knowledge and all.

"Dear Lord, please help me to see the world through your eyes.  To serve the needy, love justice, and worship you.  Help me to see evil and avoid following it's tempting ways.  Enlighten my mind with your wisdom concerning how to live a life you are proud of.  Keep me on your path, and strengthen me to fight those who may call me wrong.  Be with all those I know and have yet to meet who are hurting and suffering.  Hold them close and let them know that you will never abandon them.  Amen"

No challenge = no growth

This passage has always troubled me a bit -

Jeremiah 29

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.

Jeremiah has always been my favorite prophet for lots of reasons, and the beginning of this passage is very familiar and commercialized. However I always got tripped up on the "I will be found my you when you seek me with all your heart". It is pretty clear passage... so why, I ask myself, has it been so hard to find God? Am I not seeking hard enough?

Yet I look at the context - God wasn't talking to me, he was talking to the Jewish people who were upset at being exiled to Babylon. They just got kicked out of their holy land and are trying to understand why God would do this to them. Yet he promises - there is a plan. Live your lives, prosper, and trust in me! I am here and will be with you. But you have to go through this.

Now, I'm not going through an exile (as much as I tease friends and family for being out of the loop), however I have learned that unless I challenge myself to meet God - our relationship will not grow.

Here is me challenging myself to eat something new:

and... well... I lived!

but didn't really love it.

however, since I've gotten better at trying new foods.

Here is another picture (not me) trying something new at work:

This is a pamper pole, about 22 feet tall.

you climb that telephone pole, stand up on the platform (about the size of a medium pizza box)

and jump off towards the trapeze!! (ah!!)

p.s. not so easy with little legs!

but I challenged myself, and I did it.

I teach kids daily that there is no growth in your comfort zone. You have to step out into your challenge zone. I have been trying this more and more in my life. So why not with my faith?

In peace,

your sister in Christ~

Erin

Calm

Funny how moods can be. It can be so easy to be in a mood and stuck there. Sometimes I find myself almost getting caught up in other peoples moods - or at least watching their facial expressions as we are talking and trying to read how they are and all that. It's really obnoxious to me when I can't read someone's mood! It's just another way I check in on people.

Today I found myself down. Upset, jittery... just all over the place. So I took some time and went shopping. Didn't buy much, but people watched. I love watching happy people and seeing how different people react to things. The grocery store is really fun for that sometimes.

After church choir my entire mood was flipped upside down and I was just peachy. I love how music can do that to me. Singing particularly... and just something special about church choir. =)

The other thing that can really pull me up is meditation. Beginning with a mantra from Jesus calming his disciples "Be still my love, know that I am God".

Really it is the presence of my lord that calms me, and brings me peace. Ah.

your sister in Christ,

Erin

Calling

Next step: Send the district superintendent a statement of calling.

So here is draft 1~

Statement of Call to Ministry

My great uncle baptized me at the United Methodist church my mother grew up in where every wedding and baptism in our family has taken place for decades. Yet even before this God and the people of the United Methodist church seemed to have claimed me as their own.

I was born on December 2^nd, 1986 in Iron Mountain MI and the following Sunday a single rose was placed on an alter of a small United Methodist church in honor of me. My parents had visited the church once before. To this day we are not really sure who found out I had been born and bought the flower. This is the first of many times when the people of the United Methodist church have shown me God’s love.

My church family in Mayville has been a significant part of my spiritual formation. I have wonderful memories of Sunday school classes marching around the room singing about Zacheus. Praise Band and church choir rehearsals. Preaching to a full sanctuary with people standing for my classes’ confirmation. Leading midnight worship for youth lock-ins. And so many more. However, they have not only taught me bible stories, songs, and doctrine – they have truly shown me God’s love in every way. The people there have become family to me - role models, mentors, and life long friends. From the days where I needed to be watched as my mother was playing organ to supporting me know in my candidacy process.

My second year of confirmation class was an important turning point in my faith. Our interim pastor, the third pastor for our class, challenged us to not think of Jesus as a character in a story, but as someone who had a real influence on my life. This man was also the person who first introduced me to the conference by taking us to Jr. High Convo. By the end of the event I was on the design team for the next year, had backed into someone only to find my 1^st cousin, and had really begun to explore who God was actively in my life.

The years that followed were filled with local church and conference events that strengthened and challenged my faith. I have always been an extrovert as well as a leader and begun to feel a tugging at my heart to serve others through the church. With friends at my church we began a praise band and started having “Youth Sundays” when the youth did the entire service. I have always loved worship services and discovered I also loved leading worship. Many of the events I lead I focused on empowering and encouraging others to share their gifts and stories, which in turn was an even greater gift to me. In a youth discipleship class, my friends shared with me that they felt I have the spiritual gifts of administration, prophecy, teaching, and exhortation.

With the encouragement of a mentor I attended Exploration, an event for young people to assist in exploring their call, as well as Faith Passage, a 3 week summer academy and 3 weekend retreats through Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary. These experiences led me to working as a counselor at summer camps ministering to campers for 5 years. During my college years I attended UW- La Crosse and UW-Stevens Point for 2 years each. I began seeking a degree in Music Education and graduated with a degree in Youth Programming and Camp Management. At both of these colleges I participated in several campus ministries and local churches. Often I was involved in music ministries, children’s and youth ministries, as well as creating a place for college students to call home.

While I have been involved in many ministries for many years, the reason I do it never changes. God loves me and has showed it through the ministry of those in my local church and conference. I can never repay him for the grace and love he has shown me however one thing I can do is to share his love with others. When I am serving others is when I feel the closest to God. My heart cries to hear stories of those hurting, oppressed, or experiencing injustice. I am drawn to those who are helpless – especially the very young. God calls the church to serve those who are vulnerable and helpless. We are to care for the orphans and the widows. While churches offer sanctuary and renewal, we must never forget to walk outside of our buildings every day and serve the world in which we live. Not because they deserve it, but because God loves them just as he loves me.

Right now I don’t know exactly where God wants me. My passions include children and youth, worshiping God, the outdoors, music, adventure, peace, and people. I love meeting new people and learning their stories. My friends question my compassion and hospitality wondering how I do it. The answer is easy. I love them because God loves them. I will show that love in whatever it seems like they need from a card, dinner, a camping trip, or ball in the mail. It seems to me that Jesus always met people where they were. I strive to do the same while relying on God for my guide and my strength.

These are the reasons why I feel called to serve as a deacon in the United Methodist Church. I am looking forward to many years of ministry and a deeper connection with my God throughout the candidacy process. May God be with you and bless you in your ministry.

Peace

Your sister in Christ,

Erin Kruger

Fundamentals

First of all, I love hearing the pastor preach at my church here in Wilmington. He always says clever things which are simple and true. Today he shared a story from a magazine columnist. His wife and young daughter, 3, were in the car when a story came on about a boy who had killed his parents. The little girl asked unbelieving, "killed his parents?!?!" To which the mother quickly replied, "yes, he was a very naughty boy." Funny how much of a parents job is to teach children the fundamentals, the author writes. Wear clothes, no biting, and don't kill your parents.

There are also fundamentals of being a christian - worship God, love and serve others, and have faith in Jesus Christ. Of course there are more, and along the way they can get very complex. However I believe we get too wrapped up sometimes in the details and lose focus of the basics. I know I complicate things often. I can't help it always... it's how my mind works. For me, it is important to organize these thoughts and ideas in my mind as to importance.

This is the same reason why organizations have mission statements and visions. Goals and objectives. Churches and ministries have these too. Typically going out and making disciples or something of that.

Lots to think about...

How to remember to focus on the basics?

The best thing I've ever had suggested is to be in the word and praying every day.

God Bless

your sister in Christ,

~Erin

Success

I think and analyze alot... like alot alot, so here goes!  (warned you)

At work I get to take kids (or adults) roughly 35 + feet in the air and challenge themselves daily.  Before this experience we "front load" or have them think about goal setting, risk taking, challenging themselves, and supporting others.  Or course we have a ropes course contract and triple check all equipment too, but that's not as important.  

When participants are up there I love it, because I can be silly and fun as well as immediately helpful and always encouraging.  I yelled down at a participant today after telling me their name to make their favorite dinosaur noise or tell me if they were a crayola crayon what color would they be?  Directly followed by - what is your goal today?  

At the end of the day we talk about our goals and if we reached them, if we set many goals, and or if we changed them along the way.  Easy to say... easy to see on the course... harder to put into practice in normal life.  

Our success triangle has 3 parts, goal setting, positive risk taking, and support.  

My goal is to study more, blog more, and meditate more = basically improve my quite time.  I know a formula of how, but am not doing it.  When looking for support I look to some of the most important people in my life including my little sister.  She calls/texts/facebooks me for advice and support and much of what she is asking are things I'd like to post here.  

Tonight we watched "The Biggest Loser" a reality show about people who are overweight trying to lose the most.  That's another thing I honestly need to work on.  There can be so much somedays it's overwhelming.  All I can do is place my life in the Lord's hands AND not give up, but pray, set goals, and surround myself with support.  

I can do it.  I can be better.  In my spiritual life, physical life, musical life, and more.  Not without work and not on my own.  

Alone

There are many time of my life where I have felt alone and many times where I have been surrounded by others - family, friends, strangers.  It is a wonderful feeling for me to walk into a room of people I've never met and feel comfortable and loved.  I have often felt this at church conferences or sunday services.  

Yet the past few months have also been a time where I have felt very alone.  I try to remind myself often that there is nothing wrong with being single, and I can be very content being single.  Could it be the combination of cultural conditioning and societal expectations?  I just love the comments from my dad... "Are you dating anyone yet?  You're getting to the age where you should think about settling down."  

At 22, I have lots of life to live and there is so much I have to learn about myself first.  For awhile now I have had friends encouraging me to take time for myself.  Time for myself generally includes being with and/or doing something for someone else.  However I am slowly learning the peacefulness and beautifulness of time alone with God.  

Jesus spent lots of the time we know of serving others constantly.  A combination of serving, preaching, and teaching along with walking places he must have gotten tired.  Yet he often takes time alone to go and pray -    

Matthew 14:22
[ Walking on the Water ] As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.
Matthew 14:21-23 (in Context) Matthew 14 (Whole Chapter)

I love this image.  Yet it is so hard.  Hard to have a relationship with someone you can't see.  But amazing when the effort is there...

At the same time there are images in the bible which push me back to wishing I wasn't alone... 

 Ecclesiastes 9-12

^9-10 It's better to have a partner than go it alone. 
   Share the work, share the wealth. 
   And if one falls down, the other helps, 
   But if there's no one to help, tough! 

 ¹¹ Two in a bed warm each other. 
   Alone, you shiver all night. 

 ¹² By yourself you're unprotected. 
   With a friend you can face the worst. 
   Can you round up a third? 
   A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped.

So it can be difficult to read comforts like this and be happy being alone.  So for another inspirational role model I look to Mother Teresa. Spending most of her time serving the poor and dying in Calcutta must be a difficult task.  How does one do this without burning out?  What is her secret?  Spending daily alone time God, praying AND listening provided her with God's love and energy to serve the forgotten and inspire us all through her example and teachings.  

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart.  - Mother Teresa

*Dear Lord, help me to seek you with my whole heart and take pleasure in the time you have given me now to get to know you more.*  

your sister in Christ

~Erin

New Life

We normally talk about "New Life" in the spring around Easter yet there are lots of times of our lives when we really do experience new energy and such changes in our lives it really feels like a new life.  Monday I started my first "real" job - full time with health benefits!  Moving to Ohio and starting this job really has created a new life for me.  

Lets hope with these changes in my life I can really return to blogging.  The internet signal in my house is great it may come down to time.  So my new goal is four times a week.  More than half yet not quite everyday.  What can I do?  Well always rely on my favorite verse - 

"What does the Lord require of you - to show kindness, seek justice, and live humbly with your God."  - Micah 6:8

Inspired by Wesley

Soooo many things to do. In so many categories. I wish I didn't think about them all so much sometimes... and just did more of them. But I've been wishing that for a long time - don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.

Today I find myself inspired by John Wesley. We have a Wesley Society on campus and we're really trying to grow the group. The hardest part is to find words to describe why the heck we are called a Wesley Society and what we do. I grew up methodist. I have studied it quite and bit and I'm sure with seminary coming in the next few years sometime I will learn a whole lot more. How do I even begin to tell someone about it all?

As I was designing our wesley web page I was wondering how much to put on it. Our conference has come up with a format for young adult ministry I love.

A place to belong. A place to matter. A place to believe.

The United Methodist church has just published some new visions and goals with easy to remember numbers.

We the people of the United Methodist Church

1 - believe in making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world

We live by
2 kinds of holiness - Personal and Social

We follow
3 simple Rules
- Do no harm
- Do good
- Stay in love with God

We work in
4 areas of focus
- Developing leaders
- creating places for new people
- eliminating poverty
- improving health globally

We are the people of the United Methodist Church

We have all these slogans, bylines, and explanations. I like them, don't get me wrong. It's so hard to try and break down my faith and my religion into words and these help. And one thing that helps me is looking back to the words of John Wesley ( I know crazy methodist in me - I find inspiration in John Wesley similar to how I find inspiration from the bible...)

"Do all the go you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can."

That's going to have to find a place somewhere on the new website.

A sister along the journey
~Erin

Can't always be perfect

I decided a few months ago, with sufficent proding by a friend, to take up meditation. I have always envied people who could just sit in quiet and seem "out of it", then when I ask them what they are thinking about they honestly answer - nothing. To empty one's mind and sit in peace... how wonderful would that be?

And it has been.

I never thought I would get there. I had simply come to the conclusion (because I know everything about myself at the ripe old age of 22) that I would never be able to calm or quiet my mind and reach that sort of state. But for whatever reasons I decided to try.

I like to meditate with a mantra. I have been exploring new ways to meditate as well and have a few books on the subject along with the typical web searches. It always takes some time, but I have had some indescribable experiences. In particular, one experience when I was in California at a conference.

I woke up one morning just not feeling right. Kinda like I was getting sick, but whatever it was I was just all out of wack. Perhaps because I had been running around with boundless and what seemed to be unlimited energy at a fabulous conference on camping and meeting tons of people. Honestly - I had not taken much time for myself or much time to rest. I just get so excited sometimes and it feels like I can't get enough of the wonderful experiences I'm having, so I just keep going and cramming in as much as I can in a day.

So I woke up all wrong, skipped breakfast and bible study to meditate. I have been advised that sometimes meditation can seem like you a sleeping - and I get nervous that I just do fall asleep. But I had a vision. (or a dream?) With some interesting people in my life, but it was very vivid, insightful, and meaningful to me. But that's not the best part.

Normally after meditating, I feel as if I am cuddled in God's arms. As if God is saying to me, honey I'm here, rest a bit, I'll take care of you and love you for always, you can always come to me and I'll always be right here. It's exactly what I feel like I've been searching for and wanting for as long as I can remember. And struggling with where to get it - because it doesn't come from the places I feel like it should or want it to. But here I have found it.

That wasn't the feeling I got that day in California. When I was done God wasn't holding me, God was inside of me. I had a similar feeling of warmth and love, but it was not outside of my physical body - it was within. Now, I am often described as a "bubbly" person - overflowing with energy. After meditating that morning I was not just bubbly - I was glowing. I just felt love beaming out of every possible part of me. It was indescribable.

I have been meditation for about an hour every other day or so for a while now. Sometimes more often, sometimes less. I can feel it when I skip it and I miss it. I am not as centered, patient, happy, or on task. On days I meditate, sometimes I feel like I can save the world. Or at least the world's orphans.

Sadly however, life can't always be perfect. I have been trying to meditate. I need it, I'm alittle high strung and stressed out. I feel like my own stuff is going okay - I need to be more productive and timely, but there are other things going on that are out of my control. I know in my head that not everything will be wonderful all the time - and that I can't solve everyones problems. But I still feel bad and it still effects me. I care... I'm sorry? It matters to me. But I guess all I can do is pray and focus on the things I can effect.

So I've been trying to meditate to help myself become more centered again - and I have not been able to for over a week! I try and nothing. No quiet. No peace. No nothing. Frustration and muddleness. I am still a mess!!!

But God doesn't work on my schedule, so I will have to keep trying.

always,

a sister on the journey

~Erin

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
1 There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:

2 -8

A right time for birth and another for death,

A right time to plant and another to reap,

A right time to kill and another to heal,

A right time to destroy and another to construct,

A right time to cry and another to laugh,

A right time to lament and another to cheer,

A right time to make love and another to abstain,

A right time to embrace and another to part,

A right time to search and another to count your losses,

A right time to hold on and another to let go,

A right time to rip out and another to mend,

A right time to shut up and another to speak up,

A right time to love and another to hate,

A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

Spirituality Test

I love personality tests!  Crazy fun ones, detailed ones, whatever.  I find it fascinating that we are all SO different.  Sometimes I am struck by this just during a conversation - however there are some great things we can learn through personality tests.  

Tests I have taken (and remember)- 

Truecolors - I am GREEN.  Very green on my own, with more people (especially children) my blue comes out stronger and stronger.  Gold comes with kids too - begrudgingly.  

MyersBriggs - ENFP.  I am an extreme extravert.  Must have people!  Also very feeling and perceptive.  The intuition verses sensing... eh.  

Animals - I'm an otter!  Compared to a beaver, lion, or golden retriever.  

Take a personality test here:

http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/

Discussing these with friends, as we do them or with others, has been a great tool in understanding why we see things differently or do things differently.  The language that goes with each category has been extremely helpful for me to better understand myself and identify, manage for, and appreciate the differences and strengths of others.  

So - I found spirituality test!  

There are 4 categories you can fit into

Sage

Mystic

Prophet

Lover

Guess what I am.....!

Each time I have taken the questionnaire

I have always come out as a Prophet!

I love that we are all so different in every way - yet all wonderfully made.  Here's one of my favorite verses on the matter -

Psalm 139:14 (The Message)

 13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; 
      you formed me in my mother's womb. 
   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! 
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made! 
      I worship in adoration—what a creation! 
   You know me inside and out, 
      you know every bone in my body; 
   You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, 
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something. 
   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; 
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you, 
   The days of my life all prepared 
      before I'd even lived one day.

Here is where you can take it for yourself -

http://www.upperroom.org/methodx/thelife/test.asp

and here is the description about mine:

You are a Prophet, a crusader with a kingdom spirituality. You experience God best through serving others. You value competence and knowledge, and are good at leading and influencing others. Prophets are devoted to their causes, often becoming assertive and aggressive as you implement a vision of the world as God's kingdom on earth. You are our heroic change agents and we admire you for that. Single-minded and deeply focused, you aren't content until society has been transformed.

Prophets are the least represented spiritual type in the general population. You also are the hardest spiritual type to be around, mainly because you make the rest of us feel guilty for not having the same zeal for change that you do. We admire you for sacrificing your personal life for your hope of the kingdom realized on earth, but we are uncomfortable around martyrs.

You have a courageous and sturdy idealism that takes responsibility for change. But, your passion for transforming society can lead you to become impatient with congregations and their perceived lack of concern. You fit best in a hospitable, like-minded community that shares your vision.

Nevertheless, be careful not to become so involved in your cause that you neglect your inner life. Attend as much to your inner life as outer life. One will nourish the other.

Learn about other types: Sage | Prophet | Lover | Mystic

Famous Prophets:

Mother Teresa | Ralph Nader | John Calvin 
Lucy (Peanuts) | Rosa Parks | Dorothy Day 
Joan of Arc | Monica Geller | Martin Luther King, Jr. 
Jeremiah | Malcolm X | Ghandi 
Indigo Girls | Gandalf | Oprah Winfrey

~always 

your sister in the journey, Erin

Purpose

God has a purpose for each of our lives.  I don't know how it all works... I probably won't ever.  Yet, I am getting closer to finding mine?  or at least getting closer to having a real understanding of who I am.  

This has been a struggle for me in the past few years.  Funny thing is, not until I really prayed for God to give me a hunger for him did I really get a more solid picture of me.   

I am complicated.  This is not something I really have ever tried to hide, occasionally tried to change... but it's just a part of who I am.  Many have had a glimpse of this and reacted in a number of different ways.  

I love to care for others  

Help in every way that I can, 

hug someone who is hurting, 

celebrate the good things in life together

I love to surprise people

I love to give

I find joy in the little things (brown paper packages w/string!)

I am an extrovert to the core

I feed off of others

sure sometimes I can get exhausted...

stressed...

but the good weighs it out

it's like - I get sick on rollercoasters

especially if they go upside-down

I will NEED a garbage can...

so I don't really go on them

but occasionally - 

it's worth it

serving, giving, and being a part of most of the things I am

it's worth it to me

I do think about it all

the choices I make

the commitments I make

I weigh out my options 

and choose 

Chances for me to serve

be a shining example

share my gifts

are wonderful opportunities I feel blessed to have

I thank God for each one

be it for a friend

or for a stranger

The heart of who I am in not within me

I am loving, giving, and compassionate not because of myself

I am who I am because of what God has been to me

I do enjoy Stacie Orrinco's song-

"Don't look at me if you're looking for perfection, 

don't look at me I will only let you down.

I'll do my best to force you in the right direction, 

don't look at me - look at HIM."

"Sometimes I have the fear, that you will see the mirror

and get the thought that it's the main attraction"

Many people have made comments to me about my bubbliness and my compassion.  It is touching to have people be thankful for things I have said or done.  But I can not take the credit.  I love that God has given me a servant heart.  I only hope that through my actions and my love people can see and experience the love of God. 

Mark 12: 30-31

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. 31The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Sure it's not always that easy.  I slip.  I stumble.  I fall.  But that doesn't mean God can't use me.  And no matter how far I stray from God, I still find that I am being used.  There is a purpose for my life and while I am actually quite afraid of my calling... I also can't wait. 

~a sister on the journey, Erin