What does it look like to follow Jesus?

So my mind has been digesting the scripture from last Sunday for a few days... in the lectionary it was Good Shepard Sunday.  Beautiful imagery of Jesus chilling out in a nice grove of woods with a bunch of sheep.  New testament lesson John 10:1-10.  I am the shepard, I am the gate.

I struggle a lot with this verse.  It rubs me the wrong way.  Did Jesus really say that?  "The only way to the father is through me."  Are my devout, loving, Jewish/Hindu/Muslim friends deceived?

That's the hard question here.

If you read the scripture literally - yes.

But I love this line from Barbara Streisand's movie "Yentel". - "Why would God have given me a mind, if not to ask the question WHY?"  (and am incredibly excited for the opportunity to go to seminary to explore the question why - even if I only encounter more questions...) 

So a friend gently reminded me to look further into the verse.  Written by John... sounds a little more like Mark, and written approximately 70 years after Jesus was crucified.  So I'm pretty sure that John wasn't there taking notes.  Past down information from others through generations (image of a game of telephone here) can still keep the general theme of message, or turn it into something completely different.  I do firmly believe that everyone involved with the passing down of church tradition, stories, and the writing of holy scripture did their absolute best - yet they are still human and imperfect.
 Now I have read 2 Timothy 3:16 - "All scripture is God breathed."  But my mind implores me to go further and not just take that as it is.  (I recognize that I often get criticized for over-thinking.... but this is how my mind works and I take it as a blessing)  Paul wrote this in a letter to Timothy - encouraging him and reminding him about the holy texts that he had been practically raised reading.  I don't believe Paul had any intention of his letters (to Timothy or other believers) becoming HOLY SCRIPTURE.  Yet we base a lot of our daily christian lives on what Paul says... dare I say instead of what the gospels say Jesus said?

Yet this argument is circular (sorry) did Jesus really say that?  What do I do with scripture that seems to be out of character for the God that I am trying to get to know?  I am not trying to make God into what I want God to be.  That's not fair... but way to easy.  It's like becoming infatuated with a person that you only meet a few times and have little contact with, when you don't have that regular contact to get to know them, it's so much easier for them to be perfect in your eyes.  You make them into whatever you want.

I wish I knew Jesus.  What he liked to eat... How his face looked when we was annoyed, tired, incandescently happy... From the scriptures I get the general idea of the things he taught, but I can't wait for the day I can sit and talk to him myself.  Why, oh great God of the Universe, would you (or would you?) deny those who love you, worship you, and serve you - just because they don't believe you came down to earth to die for their sins?  Do you really know what I will choose - therefore not really having a choice anyway?  DO you adapt to my choices, making you not eternal (outside of time/always the same)?  How can you be both just and merciful?  Is hell real?  How do you bear the pain of any part of your creation hating and rejecting you?  At the end of our earthy lives will we have any other chance to accept your love?  How long will you love us?  Even if we never return it?

I love the scripture, and I think it's good to question it and learn more about it.  I don't need to know all the answers - but I NEED to ask the questions.  As instructed by Micah I will attempt to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with my God.  As as instructed by Jesus I will attempt to love God and love my neighbor as myself.  Yearning to have the fruit of the spirit - (yes I even learn from Paul) Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and self-control.  This is the best I know how to follow Jesus.  I do believe Jesus came and lived and loved, so much so that he sacrificed himself for me. 

But as God - in infinite wisdom and power and mercy - can you accept another way?

Peace,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Perspective

Whenever I start to feel... down/off/sad/frustrated/etc.  I try to regain some perspective.  This is my favorite prayer - (the whole thing)

God,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardships as the way to peace,
taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;
trusting that he will make all things right
if I surrender to his will.

That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with him forever in the rest.
Amen.
- Reinhold Niegbuhr

I absolutely love being in Westfield, WI.  Close to my grandparents and so much history of my family.  I love living in my little cabin in the woods, 100 feet from a beautiful lake.  It's a dream world.  I get to serve people and teach people, and work with kids.  Yet there is always a but.  I miss my friends.  I get lonely.  But I have been blessed and I will trust and have faith.  I was not created to be alone.  Somewhere out there, is a match for me, god willing I will find him sooner rather than later. 

I had a wonderful moment today that brightened my day with a friend who is far away.  Best of luck with that pomegranite tree, dance lots, and think of me - chilling in my hammock by the lake. 

Peace,
your sister in Christ~
Erin 

Wisdom

 “It’s gotta be more like falling in love, than something to believe in

More like, losing my heart, than pledging my allegiance”

“Cause all religion ever made of me was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet”

These words are from a popular Christian song by Jason Grey that I have struggled with a bit.  Simply because a song is sung by a Christian artist doesn’t make it true or theologically sound… personally religion has given me some of my greatest role models and hero’s as well as an enormous amount of encouragement and traditions to help me understand my walk. 

God, the creator of the universe, made the human race, to quote Desmond Tutu “The Rainbow People of God”.  Not simply are we different by our physical looks, but through and through.  I have written before on personalities and ways to label them which gives people the tools to understand what makes them who they are. 

For example, my spirituality type is a “prophet” described as someone who has a passion for people and loves to teach.  Other spiritual types are “sage”, “lover”, and “mystic” each with their own interests, passions, and gifts.  Other ways to describe our personalities can be learned from the “True Colors” test, “Learning Styles”, and found in the bible even- “Spiritual Gifts”.  We are truly a rainbow people of God with an array of gifts, talents, interests, passions, and views. 

These differences mean when listening to a story, we can all hear the same words and take away different lessons and meanings.  Our knowledge also plays a huge role as well.  Paul says to the Corinthians “Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. 2 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready.”  (1 Corinthians 3:1-3). 

In the words of Jesus there are many messages.  There are some for those who are still young in their faith, basic Christian values and ideas.  There are other lessons though for those who have more knowledge (not necessarily more faith) and are more mature in their faith. 

I hope to explore more about who Christ was and is through taking a closer look at his wisdom through his teachings in stories, parables, and sermons. 

Jesus’s heritage:  Matthew Chapter 1

The wisdom of our ancestors.  There are stories here, so many stories.  Typically when given a lineage the male members of the family are mentioned, not the female.  Yet here, Matthew mentions several women, some by name, other’s by association.  These stories are important and Jesus will grow up learning about many of them. 

Abraham – a common man born Abram, but with his faith in God became Abraham the father of Israel. 

Issac – the son we remember from Abraham, however his half brother creates an interesting story.

Jacob – the father of 12 sons, and 1 daughter.  Soon to become the 12 tribes of Israel.  And father of Joseph, soon to become a  Broadway Musical inspiration! 

Judah – the oldest of Jacob’s sons, he had3 sons with his wife Shua, Tamar is his oldest son Er’s wife.  When Er died tradition dictates that the next sons marries that wife and gives her children, but he didn’t (on purpose) and so Tamar waited until the youngest son grew up, but was burned there as well.  So she tricked Judah and had twins from him, she and her two sons are mentioned here.  Quite the story!  (Genesis 38)    

The list and stories associated goes on.  When first read it can be a boring list of names that don’t mean much.  There is a little name dropping – Abraham and King David are some pretty important guys.  That would be like saying my great great great great grandfather was the King of England.  Through association it makes you cool. 

But as we mature and LEARN, we see that these names and their stories have meaning.  We often think that Jesus was just an infant born to a poor couple of little consequence – but with this lineage – it is not so, and his family would want him to know that. 

We are all children of God.  We can all look back to Abraham and his descendents and the Jewish people of Matthew’s audience definitely did.  Many of us today have knowledge of our families roots, yet many do not.  But there is much to learn about the wisdom Jesus was born into through this list of ancestors. 

Always,

Your sister in Christ~Erin

Stories

Isn’t it fascinating how important stories are to us?  Be it a family story handed down over generations or a tale from a friend about their weekend stories are integral to who we are.  Jesus used stories to help us learn and reach more people – parables. 

I love to get caught up in stories.  And a good story can be told and retold – or watched and re-watched!  Tonight I find myself snuggling up under my favorite green wool blanket and memory quilt watching – Ever After.  It has been one of my favorite movies for years, one that guarantees to calm and comfort my soul. 

Calming is what I require tonight – but not for anything bad – I got caught up in another story and want to focus on something else.  I just finished the second book of the Inheritance series – Eldest.  (The book following Eragon).  Ah.  AH.  AHHHHH!!!

The story hasn’t ended and I’m just dying to know what happens next.  I must have read at least 300 pages today.  I just love the struggles, the psychology, and the philosophy entwined throughout the story.  To summarize 2 large (several hundred pages each) books: 

Eragon, a country boy whose life has always been full of hunting and harvesting, finds a unique rock one day on a hunting trip in the mountains.  Several days later the “egg” hatches into a dragon and Eragon is swept up in a momentous, unbelievable, and heroic tale.  Through hardships, vengeance, mentors,  new lessons, and the struggles of coming of age Eragon and his dragon become involved in many adventures which continue to unravel surprises about his past and the Empire.   The 3 races of humans, Elves, and Dwarfs depend on this dragon and her Rider, and good and evil is never as black and white as it may seem. 

The books, as any good fiction, deal with many things we face in life:  injustice and anger, vengeance, honor, limitations, failures, family, good and evil, philosophy, strength, love, friendship, loyalty, and betrayal to name a few.  All wrapped up in a delightful story that makes me laugh, cry, and shriek with surprise. 

Book 2 ends with an understanding of the title and a whole load of new information at once – I am going crazy! 

Through there are some really important themes in the book.  If you want to achieve greatness, then you must take the time to learn from someone with great wisdom, skill, and knowledge.  I want to do great things – but I’m not sure how yet.  I dream of founding a non-profit organization based on helping connect people who have with people who have not to create real relationships.  To do so I have answered God’s calling on my life and am off to seminary.  Yet I struggle with the idea of spending more time not realizing my dreams and calling.  But the importance of learning is bigger.  I can’t do much with limited knowledge.  I only hope that I may work on both school and this organization at the same time. 

However I do love the way the author presents situations in which right and wrong are challenged, and often changed.  To have an open mind in a very difficult task, yet still one of the greatest gifts and child can receive.  We deal with this is life.  How to face an employer honestly, communication or dealing with miscommunication with others, taking care of oneself, etc.  These are also things I teach at camp.  Subjects I love and yet struggle with all at the same time.  

The biggest connection I made with the book is the main characters time in "training".  Taking time out for learning is a large part of many cultures.  That is the next step in my life and I pray that God grants me with an open mind and wisdom as I study his word and how to serve the world through him.  

Proverbs 4

Wisdom Is Supreme

 ¹ Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction;
       pay attention and gain understanding. ² I give you sound learning,
       so do not forsake my teaching.
 ³ When I was a boy in my father's house,
       still tender, and an only child of my mother,
 ⁴ he taught me and said,
       "Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
       keep my commands and you will live.
 ⁵ Get wisdom, get understanding;
       do not forget my words or swerve from them.
 ⁶ Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
       love her, and she will watch over you.
 ⁷ Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
       Though it cost all you have, ^[a] get understanding.
 ⁸ Esteem her, and she will exalt you;
       embrace her, and she will honor you.
 ⁹ She will set a garland of grace on your head
       and present you with a crown of splendor."
 ¹⁰ Listen, my son, accept what I say,
       and the years of your life will be many.


In peace, 
your sister in Christ~Erin

Learning the little things

I often get caught contemplating the big questions in life.  What is my calling?  How can I help world poverty and hunger?  How do you put into practice the teachings of God?  Is God really just?  I mean there are a lot of stories in the bible....

But today I was watching two little boys of a friend of mine and we went to the park.  The older one, 4, found an acorn and remembered that earlier I had said that squirrels eat acorns and he said - "For the squirrels?"  The rest of the time he went looking for acorns and digging in the sand.

I was so proud that he made the connection and that today he learned about squirrels and acorns.  It was a big deal in his world and therefore, also in mine.

I struggle with parents who say, I want to let my child decide what to believe when they get old enough.  Well... if we really believe in God and God's love as our salvation - they we should care.  Kids are amazing and they learn so much in a day.  I hope that I can help share my love for God and his love for them to this family as we get to know each other better.

I also struggle with the verse - Only those who come like little children will enter the kingdom of heaven.  Little children don't simply believe what you say, they are inquisitive and get into everything and all over the place - (mentally and literally!)  It makes me have hope that when I have all these big questions, I am like a child trying to understand something much bigger than me.

God Bless you on your struggles and adventures.
Peace
your sister in Christ~Erin

Music and Colors

I think it is universally accepted that no one is "normal".  It is fascinating to me to learn peoples little weird quirks - those little things that you've never even thought of that catch you off guard.  You like - what?  What are you doing?  Super funny to hear stories of couples as they are trying to balance which of these they can live with and so forth.

Coming from a musical family (both of my parents are music teachers) I LOVE music... yet I am not a fan of what most people would call "popular".  We weren't really encouraged or allowed to listen to pop or country, let alone rap! yikes, but I have a sincere love for orchestra and choral music.  As I got older, into my teens, I listen to a lot of christian music - but I still wanted the high quality I had grown up with.  Harmony, interesting melodies and chord structure, and most importantly decent vocal technique.  I don't have much patience if I can't understand the words or the pitches being sung.
(I am trying to learn to branch out!)

So one of my quirks though- I organize my music into playlists by color.  (I have had friends comment that this is very strange.)  Yellow is a great playlist to put on in the morning when I'm trying to get energized and wake up.  Green is an all around very "me" music.  My warm brown playlist is mostly acoustic guitar or accapella ish music.  Everything has it's place and it works well for me.  I do sometimes get frustrated with Pandora though.. they don't at all get my color schemes.

I think it's so important to get to know and love yourself.  From identifying little quirks you have to making a list of priorities so you can focus on what you are all about.  Only when we take the time to really grasp who we are can we truly being to live out our purpose.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the most high God. Your playing small doesn't serve this world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you..." - Nelson Mandela


Holy Lord, lover of my soul, I thank you for giving me an inquisitive nature.  Help me to learn more about my nature and how I fit into your beautiful creation.  I pray that you would watch over all those that I love, as they rejoice and as they are weary.  Lift them up with your presence.  I pray that you be with all your children today who are suffering.  Meet their needs both physical and emotional.  Amen.

Wishing you well,
your sister in Christ~Erin