Just words today

I have no intended message here.  Not sure why I feel the need to write today...?  For me?  For you? Whomever you are.  Life is so full of everything right now, I am not keeping up well.  That plate idea - not only do I have a side salad and a full dinner plate, but some soup, dessert, and at least 3 glasses of something.  People in different spheres ask me if there is too much, but to an extent, I like it this way.

I love the work I am doing.  The hugs I get from the children, the stories from parents, and the appreciation from others that my ideas and energy are motivating and helpful - that's what gets me through chapters and chapters of reading.

I love the babysitting I get to do.  Each one of the children I get to cart around with me are a joy (albeit - not always) and getting to know them, share in their stories, and just laugh and play keeps me sane.

I love my friends.  There are a great number of people in my life right now who are honest, authentic, and challenging.  We all have needs.  I can't fill them all.  But it makes my soul sing to be present with others in their lives.  I learn so much.  It's not always sunshine and roses, but I try hard to look through the storms to see the beauty of a raindrop, or feel the comforting embrace of the wind.  I am truly an annoying eternal optimist.  I only wish I could be with them more, offer more of myself and my resources, yet life and responsibility calls.  There are so many in whom I have already lost touch with.  It scares me how fast people walk in and out of my life.  All I can do somedays is live in the moment with whom is here, and continue to add the others to that never ending prayer list.

Interpersonal.  It's my best learning style.  Just be with me.  Talk to me.  Teach me.

I could get on the "people don't understand me" train.  To be honest, I think that it's partly true.  Many have told me (for years) I am the most extraverted person they have ever met.  Some friends roll their eyes at my habits of knowing a servers name at a restaurant  or honestly answering the question "how are you today?".  I know I'm a handful in a travel size package, and I know that I talk to much.  So what?

I intentionally decide to interact with the world around me and see the good.  Most days it keeps me happy.  Other days I color.  Or sing.  But it's hard when life beats on you, or someone you care about.  There are times where you are trying so hard, and it just flies back in your face.  Then I cry.  And I sing, or play piano.  And I pray.  And finally, I get the crayons back out, and color some more.

I have a million things going on right now, with work, school, and people in my life - but I love them all and am grateful.  My masochistic self even offers to do more.  Sleep is over-rated anyway.  Realistically though - I am young and single and live in Chicagoland.  I don't know what my life holds, but I hope someday I won't be single or childless.  Then opportunities will change.  For today - I shall put on my cute and cuddly winter things, and head out with a smile.  Good morning world.

Peace,
your sister in Christ,
Erin      

Songs of Christmas Past

Hello friends!  Christmas consumes all life!

I do very much miss easy internet access.  Sigh.  But there are other wonderful things in life.  Like Christmas!

So my pastor, knowing how much I love worship, asked me to put together the service for Sunday seeing that she is doing everything for all the Christmas eve services.  YES!  I miss putting services together...

So we are doing a history of christmas carols thing, and I think it will be awesome!  I got a bunch of instrumentalists (go instrumentalists!!!) to play the carols while someone is going to read a short paragraph I put together and then we all sing the first verse.  6 carols, lots of fun.

I just love Christmas, but interestingly enough I recently learned some people really do not.  I love the lights, the smells, the smiles, the decorations, and the SOUNDS!  So happy, filled with love.  But is it over commercialized and not really about Christ's birth?  Well... this is going to sound bad - but who cares?

I take the side of the sergeant in Guy's and Dolls when she finds out the reason all the gamblers are at the prayer meeting is that they lost a bet.  Isn't it wonderful that God can use anything to bring people the message of salvation?  We don't control when people are ready to hear the word - like the parable of the sower, we can't help it if people aren't ready to grow.  But I am grateful that this beautiful and wonderful season gives people the opportunity to (I know it doesn't happen in every household) hear the story of God coming to earth.  What they think of it I can't say.

All I know is that this time of year, more than any other, people are kinder to one another and I'm grateful.  Yes, I would love for that to continue throughout the year, but I'll take what I can get and keep on loving people.  I can only control myself and through the grace of God I will do my best.

I pray that you and your loved ones have a very happy and warm Christmas.  God Bless!

Your sister in Christ~Erin

Imagine a world...

Many people tell me I really only about 8 - or act like it many days.  I love to play pretend and color!  Even at work my favorite phrase starts with "Can we... "  I love to rearrange the furniture and change things up to keep it new and fresh.  Color, music, movement, and nothing for too long.  Imagination is a huge part of me.

Yet I am not always stuck in my 8 year old world.  None of us are.  Something makes all of us mature and grow up.  Sometimes we want it... sometimes we don't.  People say the world ages us.  We have all seen pictures of children who seem much older and wiser than their years.  It's the tough situations in life like poverty, hunger, violence, fear, anger, and injustice that age us.

Yet there are many of us who haven't experienced that side of life.  Imagine the college frat boy whose parents pay for college and spends more time partying than studying.  Now imagine the college boy who's father walked out on his pregnant mother before he was born who is working 4 jobs to support himself and his family as he goes through college.  Who is "older"?  Now imagine a 20 something old boy who is in a refugee camp trying to protect his family and get as much education as possible while being displaced and fighting for his daily needs.  Who is "older"?

It's often hard for me to connect to the stories and parables of Jesus.  I wonder what kind of a world he lived in.  Obviously not a world where he grew up going to public school and had his own personal computer to blog his thoughts out to the world and keep up with his friends on facebook.  The stories he tells relates to his life and the lives of the people similar to him.  The broad concepts relate to my life - struggling with money, struggling with sin, not wanting to love my neighbor.  And these are the ways the church and our church leaders teach us today.  Yet their are significant differences.

Social Justice is a concept many "religious" people grab onto and run with or run from.  For some it is what the gospel is all about.  For some it has nothing to do with the gospel and how dare you try to  make it.  I believe social justice is something Jesus was all about.

Love your neighbor.  Not just the one who lives next door or upstairs, but everyone on the planet.  Get to know people who are different than you.  A different race, culture, gender, religion.  Don't judge.  Share your beliefs and your belongings.  Take care of the widows, the orphans, and the sick.  Not just by throwing some money in a plate or towards a charity.  Go out and do it.  It can and may change your life.     That's what Jesus did.  He didn't give all his money to the synagogue  and work towards becoming the next "Nazareth's Carpenter of the Year".  Jesus went out and walked among God's children and told them that first - they were loved.  Second - they needed to follow him.

I read an amazing book (almost in one day!) by Barbara Kingsolver called "The Bean Trees".  It's an amazing story of a young girl whose goal is to get through high school without getting pregnant and make something of herself somewhere far away from home.  She ends up going from Kentucky to Arizona and along the way "inherits" a small child.  Once in Tucson she starts making a life for herself working at a tire repair shop that just also happens to be a safe house for Central American refugees.  In my eyes, it's a story of how Taylor Greer grows up.

My favorite line is during a conversation with a friend who happens to be a refugee from Guatemala who has experienced some awful things in his life.  After hearing his story Taylor says "I hate to say it, but I really don't know.  I can't even being to think about a world where people have to make choices like that."  Her friend replies - "You live in that world."

I live in that world.  We say it all the time, especially faced with something beyond words difficult, I can't imagine... what that would be like, or I can't imagine a world where that happens.

We don't have to imagine it.  It's here.  The question is what do we do about it.  What does our christian faith move in us to do about it?

Give.
Be there.
Go out and love people.

Not just go out and preach to people about how Jesus saves.  I mean, yes Jesus saves.  But if I was a widow walking to the drug store wondering about how I'm going to afford my medication and you handed me a pamphlet about God I might curse at you.  If you walked with me and became my friend, perhaps helped me with my paperwork for healthcare I would say "God Bless You"  and go to church if you invited me.

If I was a poor young adult struggling to find steady work to pay the bills and wondering what is good in this world and you tried to tell me Jesus was good I would ask you if he was hiring.

Meet basic needs.
Preserve human dignity.
Don't do it through a middle man - go out and make a friend.

The best way I know to not get lost in the imaginative world is to experience the real one.  Don't keep yourself in a pretty imaginative world were everyone has what they need.  Go out and live, love, and share the love of God.

In peace,
your sister in Christ~
Erin

Learning the little things

I often get caught contemplating the big questions in life.  What is my calling?  How can I help world poverty and hunger?  How do you put into practice the teachings of God?  Is God really just?  I mean there are a lot of stories in the bible....

But today I was watching two little boys of a friend of mine and we went to the park.  The older one, 4, found an acorn and remembered that earlier I had said that squirrels eat acorns and he said - "For the squirrels?"  The rest of the time he went looking for acorns and digging in the sand.

I was so proud that he made the connection and that today he learned about squirrels and acorns.  It was a big deal in his world and therefore, also in mine.

I struggle with parents who say, I want to let my child decide what to believe when they get old enough.  Well... if we really believe in God and God's love as our salvation - they we should care.  Kids are amazing and they learn so much in a day.  I hope that I can help share my love for God and his love for them to this family as we get to know each other better.

I also struggle with the verse - Only those who come like little children will enter the kingdom of heaven.  Little children don't simply believe what you say, they are inquisitive and get into everything and all over the place - (mentally and literally!)  It makes me have hope that when I have all these big questions, I am like a child trying to understand something much bigger than me.

God Bless you on your struggles and adventures.
Peace
your sister in Christ~Erin

Influences

I am often surprised by the things I don't notice.  Often during a day I will hear something I think is really cool or see something really awesome and say to myself - sweet!  remember that!  I did that this morning actually.... I'm not sure what about though.

In my case, I am more influenced by presence then anything else.  I really do love living with my grandparents, especially in those little moments where grandma just looks and me and gives me a hug.  Her way of saying, "what would I do without you right now girl?".

Yet at the same time there are many things I want to be focusing on right now, and many things dragging me down.  EXPECTATIONS!!!  I am soooo sick of trying to explain to people why I'm making this choice right now.  To stay with my grandparents instead of go to seminary.  I don't have a good job here.  I can't just say out loud to everyone that they really need me.  Yes, I'm waiting to go back to school.  When I try to say explain it, I get a look that makes me feel like I'm not going anywhere.  Oh.  and a change of subject.

I have always been the motivated child with hopes and dreams and plans.  Right now I feel like I'm just sitting around.  It drags me down.  I drag me down.

But the other day I went to camp.  I could feel the excitement run through me.  Working on grants, answering the door, just being there with people around made my day.  Nothing all that special happened.  I didn't touch anyone's life or save the world from hunger.  Yet just being there was a positive influence.

I do miss my friends.  Many of them are all around the world.  I think back to crazy times that many of them have been there for me.  Late night chats, crazy shenanigans, "family" meals... They still influence me today.  But it's not necessarily the things they say - it's the things they do and their presence.  I keep tabs with a few by reading their blogs.  Isn't it funny how you can really hear a person through how they write sometimes?  It's like they are right there telling you about it themselves.  You smile, you laugh out loud... you feel like they are still there.

Thank you God for the positive influences in my life.  Even when they are far away.

In peace,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Friendship and Leadership

I LOVE to meet new people.  One of my favorite things about camp is that I get to meet new people all the time.  As you get to know a person it's almost like unwrapping a present.  You don't know what you will find, and you may love it or be very surprised. 

Based on the life and teachings of Jesus, I think he also loved getting to meet lots of people.  I wonder if he struggled at all... getting to know their names, remembering what they like and dislike, listening when they were talking.  Yet the whole Jesus is God connection probably means he knew them before they even knew of him.  I try my best to treat everyone I meet as Jesus would want me to treat them.  Have fun, get to know them honestly, and respect them.  I quickly gain new friends. 

Yet... sometimes in someplaces my leadership and mothering side shows through more.  I will step in to help a friend and end up leading a situation.  Many times I am asked or it is expected.  Not that I mind, I will automatically do what I can to serve others (I'm pretty excited to be a deacon for that is really what they do!)  Yet the servant leadership /friend line can get blurry. 

What would Jesus do?  Would Jesus try to encourage those around him who seemed to need it?  Would he scold them?  Would he lovingly try to fix the little problems or would he just let them be to solve themselves?  Sigh... well - looking back, he often fixed his disciples views on things.  Yet always in a loving, non condescending way.  He seemed to have a better grip on what was truely important. 

So now what?  I am going to remember the lesson I brought with my in the form of a hammock from my last camp.  Relax.  Remember that God is in charge.  Pray for his wisdom to show you what to do and what to leave be. 

In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin

ABC's

A facilitator told me lately that you can only control your ABC's - and I automatically thought... airway, breathing, circulation?  (too much Red Cross)  You can only control your Attitude, Behavior, and Choices.  It reminded me of another alphabet as well...
Thankful ABC's
I am thankful for
Afghans
Breakfast
Chocolate
Desire to learn
Environment
Family and Friends
Great Grandmothers
Holidays
Ice pops (freezies!)
Jenna Lynn (my sister)
Kids
Lemon juice
Music
Nitting (okay knitting)
Oreos
Paper
Quilting
Rights - human rights
Sewing and snow angels
Teaching
Unicorns and other creative things
Violets
Water
Xylophones
Yellow
Zen gardens

and much much more.

I had a friend do this with me one day during our lunch as I was having a particularly frustrating week.  Next time you find yourself struggling, take a moment to write down your abc's.

In peace with love,
Your sister in Christ~Erin

Chocolate

Lord, I am thankful for chocolate.

It's the little pleasures in life that make it extra sweet and wonderful.  Like chocolate, or a warm cookie.  Perhaps a cozy hug, or a sincere compliment.  The things that just make your day that much better.

Tonight at church we started a women's bible study focusing on God's grace, yet another theme for it is chocolate.  :)  It was the best part of my day to sit with 9 or 10 other women in our church parlor (just redone and very cozy and relaxing) talking about life and faith.  It is such a fabulous group too.  I am the youngest at 23 and the oldest is a great grandmother of 16!  Many in the middle with young children or older children... we range the board with ages and personalities!  It was just such a blessing.

Sometimes I forget how important the support of friends and family is in life.  I think I'm fine on my own - but I'm not.  The loved ones in my life are another source of chocolate.  From a catch up phone call or an email or an evening of hanging out - those relationships are crucial to our lives.  I'm so thankful for my wonderful friends and family!  (especially when I'm living states away!)

Surprise a friend or family member this week to show them how thankful you are for their love.

Dear Lord,
I am so grateful tonight for the wonderful people whom you have put in my life.  I thank you for their uplifting words and thoughts.  Without those relationships I struggle.  Open my eyes to help me see when they are in need as well as when their are new friends on the horizon to be made.  Amen.

God Bless,
your sister in Christ~Erin