So my mind has been digesting the scripture from last Sunday for a few days... in the lectionary it was Good Shepard Sunday. Beautiful imagery of Jesus chilling out in a nice grove of woods with a bunch of sheep. New testament lesson John 10:1-10. I am the shepard, I am the gate.
I struggle a lot with this verse. It rubs me the wrong way. Did Jesus really say that? "The only way to the father is through me." Are my devout, loving, Jewish/Hindu/Muslim friends deceived?
That's the hard question here.
If you read the scripture literally - yes.
But I love this line from Barbara Streisand's movie "Yentel". - "Why would God have given me a mind, if not to ask the question WHY?" (and am incredibly excited for the opportunity to go to seminary to explore the question why - even if I only encounter more questions...)
So a friend gently reminded me to look further into the verse. Written by John... sounds a little more like Mark, and written approximately 70 years after Jesus was crucified. So I'm pretty sure that John wasn't there taking notes. Past down information from others through generations (image of a game of telephone here) can still keep the general theme of message, or turn it into something completely different. I do firmly believe that everyone involved with the passing down of church tradition, stories, and the writing of holy scripture did their absolute best - yet they are still human and imperfect.
Now I have read 2 Timothy 3:16 - "All scripture is God breathed." But my mind implores me to go further and not just take that as it is. (I recognize that I often get criticized for over-thinking.... but this is how my mind works and I take it as a blessing) Paul wrote this in a letter to Timothy - encouraging him and reminding him about the holy texts that he had been practically raised reading. I don't believe Paul had any intention of his letters (to Timothy or other believers) becoming HOLY SCRIPTURE. Yet we base a lot of our daily christian lives on what Paul says... dare I say instead of what the gospels say Jesus said?
Yet this argument is circular (sorry) did Jesus really say that? What do I do with scripture that seems to be out of character for the God that I am trying to get to know? I am not trying to make God into what I want God to be. That's not fair... but way to easy. It's like becoming infatuated with a person that you only meet a few times and have little contact with, when you don't have that regular contact to get to know them, it's so much easier for them to be perfect in your eyes. You make them into whatever you want.
I wish I knew Jesus. What he liked to eat... How his face looked when we was annoyed, tired, incandescently happy... From the scriptures I get the general idea of the things he taught, but I can't wait for the day I can sit and talk to him myself. Why, oh great God of the Universe, would you (or would you?) deny those who love you, worship you, and serve you - just because they don't believe you came down to earth to die for their sins? Do you really know what I will choose - therefore not really having a choice anyway? DO you adapt to my choices, making you not eternal (outside of time/always the same)? How can you be both just and merciful? Is hell real? How do you bear the pain of any part of your creation hating and rejecting you? At the end of our earthy lives will we have any other chance to accept your love? How long will you love us? Even if we never return it?
I love the scripture, and I think it's good to question it and learn more about it. I don't need to know all the answers - but I NEED to ask the questions. As instructed by Micah I will attempt to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with my God. As as instructed by Jesus I will attempt to love God and love my neighbor as myself. Yearning to have the fruit of the spirit - (yes I even learn from Paul) Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and self-control. This is the best I know how to follow Jesus. I do believe Jesus came and lived and loved, so much so that he sacrificed himself for me.
But as God - in infinite wisdom and power and mercy - can you accept another way?
Peace,
your sister in Christ~Erin
Showing posts with label radical love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label radical love. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Hard Truths
In our religious traditions we believe in certain truths. Some of these concepts come from the bible, others from tradition, still others are based in what we dub as "theology". Which, as I understand it, is our human understanding of scripture. Theology differs among denominations, obviously religions, but even more often - individuals. Here are some basic truths, do you agree?
God created the heavens and the earth.
God loves all of his creation.
Jesus lived and taught how God desires us to live out our lives. Prophets try to share God's love and warnings to people.
Would you agree with me that these are generally accepted truths among Christians? What about some of the less "warm and fuzzy" beliefs.
God desires a relationship with his beloved children, but can not be in relationship with anyone who sins.
God hates sin.
Jesus died to fulfill our (mine and yours) debt to God, for we are sinners and deserve to die as he did.
Because of Jesus's sacrifice, God offers us his grace which we must accept to gain eternal life.
For those who do not accept God's grace through believing in Jesus, they will not gain eternal life - they will spend eternity in hell.
This includes those who have never heard the message of the gospel.
Now here is where it gets interesting. Those who say "it does not effect me" are wrong. Even if you are a believer in Christ, I am sure that you know of others who aren't. We are also called by Jesus to go out and spread the good news to those who have not heard. Our compassionate hearts ask, can our God of Love really condem to Hell those who have died as infants? Or those who have never heard the gospel?
Well... the bible is pretty clear - there is no other way to the father except through me (Jesus). John 14:6 However many theologians believe (and teach) that there is a certain age we must reach before God expects us to make that decision. Or all children that are baptized are accepted by God. So what do we believe?
I do have to admit - I don't know. Now I'm not trying to ignore this issue because it is important. It is easy to say, well God is a God of mystery and I am not capable of understanding his ways. But how would my actions change if I really truly believed that all nonbelievers went to hell? Would I try harder to evangelize?
There is a new book out entitled "Love Wins" by Rob Bell. It presents this very issue. Today among my generation we have a difficult time accepting a God so willing to condemn those we know are good and love so much. We are in a culture of acceptance - but is our God? Are we simply trying to soften the gospel? Do we really believe that we need to accept Christ into our life? Will everyone go to heaven?
A couple years ago I read another book on this subject entitled "If God is Love". The authors point was that if God is truly a God of Love then he would accept all of his children into heaven no matter what. Interesting theological point. In many ways I love the idea, but it's not what I have been taught by my faith tradition or in the bible. It is very dangerous to make God into what we would like God to be... instead of accepting God and following the path laid out for us. I learned that the view of God accepting all people to heaven is called Universalism. One can also be an exclusivist, or on the other side believe in inclusivism (that God saves through Christ but includes others on the basis of what work, and that inclusion is based on response to truth) and accessibilism (that God somehow reveals his saving truth to all humans who have ever lived, and has done so at least one time in the life of each person, and judges on that basis but salvation is only through Christ). Taken from Scott McKight and his great conversation about Rob Bell's new book.
I enjoyed reading C.S. Lewis's Narnia series. In "The Final Battle" there is a beautiful description of a sort of heaven. Some who were there didn't realize it - they were still in the dark, but still there. One was of a different faith and baffled to be there, but chosen by God and loved. Does it cheapen our grace if others who are not like us are "allowed" in? Doesn't Jesus teach us not to worry about it in the parable of the Vineyard owner (paying all his workers the same no matter how long they worked?) Matthew 20:1-16
So here is the rock and the hard place. Will we know for sure who gets into heaven or how? If we truly believe the only answer is Jesus, how does that change our actions?
Praying for direction,
your sister in Christ~ Erin Michelle
God created the heavens and the earth.
God loves all of his creation.
Jesus lived and taught how God desires us to live out our lives. Prophets try to share God's love and warnings to people.
Would you agree with me that these are generally accepted truths among Christians? What about some of the less "warm and fuzzy" beliefs.
God desires a relationship with his beloved children, but can not be in relationship with anyone who sins.
God hates sin.
Jesus died to fulfill our (mine and yours) debt to God, for we are sinners and deserve to die as he did.
Because of Jesus's sacrifice, God offers us his grace which we must accept to gain eternal life.
For those who do not accept God's grace through believing in Jesus, they will not gain eternal life - they will spend eternity in hell.
This includes those who have never heard the message of the gospel.
Now here is where it gets interesting. Those who say "it does not effect me" are wrong. Even if you are a believer in Christ, I am sure that you know of others who aren't. We are also called by Jesus to go out and spread the good news to those who have not heard. Our compassionate hearts ask, can our God of Love really condem to Hell those who have died as infants? Or those who have never heard the gospel?
Well... the bible is pretty clear - there is no other way to the father except through me (Jesus). John 14:6 However many theologians believe (and teach) that there is a certain age we must reach before God expects us to make that decision. Or all children that are baptized are accepted by God. So what do we believe?
I do have to admit - I don't know. Now I'm not trying to ignore this issue because it is important. It is easy to say, well God is a God of mystery and I am not capable of understanding his ways. But how would my actions change if I really truly believed that all nonbelievers went to hell? Would I try harder to evangelize?
There is a new book out entitled "Love Wins" by Rob Bell. It presents this very issue. Today among my generation we have a difficult time accepting a God so willing to condemn those we know are good and love so much. We are in a culture of acceptance - but is our God? Are we simply trying to soften the gospel? Do we really believe that we need to accept Christ into our life? Will everyone go to heaven?
A couple years ago I read another book on this subject entitled "If God is Love". The authors point was that if God is truly a God of Love then he would accept all of his children into heaven no matter what. Interesting theological point. In many ways I love the idea, but it's not what I have been taught by my faith tradition or in the bible. It is very dangerous to make God into what we would like God to be... instead of accepting God and following the path laid out for us. I learned that the view of God accepting all people to heaven is called Universalism. One can also be an exclusivist, or on the other side believe in inclusivism (that God saves through Christ but includes others on the basis of what work, and that inclusion is based on response to truth) and accessibilism (that God somehow reveals his saving truth to all humans who have ever lived, and has done so at least one time in the life of each person, and judges on that basis but salvation is only through Christ). Taken from Scott McKight and his great conversation about Rob Bell's new book.
I enjoyed reading C.S. Lewis's Narnia series. In "The Final Battle" there is a beautiful description of a sort of heaven. Some who were there didn't realize it - they were still in the dark, but still there. One was of a different faith and baffled to be there, but chosen by God and loved. Does it cheapen our grace if others who are not like us are "allowed" in? Doesn't Jesus teach us not to worry about it in the parable of the Vineyard owner (paying all his workers the same no matter how long they worked?) Matthew 20:1-16
So here is the rock and the hard place. Will we know for sure who gets into heaven or how? If we truly believe the only answer is Jesus, how does that change our actions?
Praying for direction,
your sister in Christ~ Erin Michelle
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Songs of Christmas Past
Hello friends! Christmas consumes all life!
I do very much miss easy internet access. Sigh. But there are other wonderful things in life. Like Christmas!
So my pastor, knowing how much I love worship, asked me to put together the service for Sunday seeing that she is doing everything for all the Christmas eve services. YES! I miss putting services together...
So we are doing a history of christmas carols thing, and I think it will be awesome! I got a bunch of instrumentalists (go instrumentalists!!!) to play the carols while someone is going to read a short paragraph I put together and then we all sing the first verse. 6 carols, lots of fun.
I just love Christmas, but interestingly enough I recently learned some people really do not. I love the lights, the smells, the smiles, the decorations, and the SOUNDS! So happy, filled with love. But is it over commercialized and not really about Christ's birth? Well... this is going to sound bad - but who cares?
I take the side of the sergeant in Guy's and Dolls when she finds out the reason all the gamblers are at the prayer meeting is that they lost a bet. Isn't it wonderful that God can use anything to bring people the message of salvation? We don't control when people are ready to hear the word - like the parable of the sower, we can't help it if people aren't ready to grow. But I am grateful that this beautiful and wonderful season gives people the opportunity to (I know it doesn't happen in every household) hear the story of God coming to earth. What they think of it I can't say.
All I know is that this time of year, more than any other, people are kinder to one another and I'm grateful. Yes, I would love for that to continue throughout the year, but I'll take what I can get and keep on loving people. I can only control myself and through the grace of God I will do my best.
I pray that you and your loved ones have a very happy and warm Christmas. God Bless!
Your sister in Christ~Erin
I do very much miss easy internet access. Sigh. But there are other wonderful things in life. Like Christmas!
So my pastor, knowing how much I love worship, asked me to put together the service for Sunday seeing that she is doing everything for all the Christmas eve services. YES! I miss putting services together...
So we are doing a history of christmas carols thing, and I think it will be awesome! I got a bunch of instrumentalists (go instrumentalists!!!) to play the carols while someone is going to read a short paragraph I put together and then we all sing the first verse. 6 carols, lots of fun.
I just love Christmas, but interestingly enough I recently learned some people really do not. I love the lights, the smells, the smiles, the decorations, and the SOUNDS! So happy, filled with love. But is it over commercialized and not really about Christ's birth? Well... this is going to sound bad - but who cares?
I take the side of the sergeant in Guy's and Dolls when she finds out the reason all the gamblers are at the prayer meeting is that they lost a bet. Isn't it wonderful that God can use anything to bring people the message of salvation? We don't control when people are ready to hear the word - like the parable of the sower, we can't help it if people aren't ready to grow. But I am grateful that this beautiful and wonderful season gives people the opportunity to (I know it doesn't happen in every household) hear the story of God coming to earth. What they think of it I can't say.
All I know is that this time of year, more than any other, people are kinder to one another and I'm grateful. Yes, I would love for that to continue throughout the year, but I'll take what I can get and keep on loving people. I can only control myself and through the grace of God I will do my best.
I pray that you and your loved ones have a very happy and warm Christmas. God Bless!
Your sister in Christ~Erin
Monday, November 01, 2010
Oh Books... how I love you!!!! (dreamy sigh....)
I LOVE to read. Just in case you didn't know. LOVE IT!
It's a retreat into another world - wonderful, colorful, and full of all kinds of emotion and adventure. I just finished reading Eragon, Eldest, and Brigsinger only to find out that their is a fourth book that concludes the story but isn't out yet!!!
I just started The Time Traveler's Wife. Oh my goodness... (happy sigh...) fabulous.
I was having a conversation with my grandmother (- who is also a reader) about what it is we love about books. I love the characters - how you can relate, or not, but exploring who they are as a person and why they choose to do what they do with the situations presented to them. Grandma loves the plot. Very different from the characters, the story itself not necessarily who is caught up in it. Finding that out is wonderful insight to my grandmother and what makes us different. =)
I love people. Young people - old people. People in general. Thank you God for giving me a love of your people. I think it's where most of my patience comes from. At the heart of the matter I do believe people are good, even though many times their actions are bad. Due to circumstances unknown people make a lot of choices that don't make sense or get frustrated, but when you get to know someone you learn all the wonderful things about them. Their likes and dislikes, how to encourage them or how to make them angry. The little things - it's what I love about people and in connection - reading about people.
Often quoted from the bible is the saying "We were created in God's image". People I get. God? Not so easy. I can't just go over to God's place and hang out, learn the things that make God happy, the way God likes a sandwich or just watch the general day to day life of what makes God - well, God. I want to know more - and all my questions point me to the bible. But it's not the same. It's like reading the diary of your best friend and wanting them to be there telling you about it instead.
Yet I was wonderfully warmed by the beginning of The Time Traveler's Wife. In a way, I felt like it related to my relationship with God. Sometimes I feel God's presence. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I feel like I know God is with me and where we are going and other times I am alone and lost. And often it happens abruptly. I pray for the strength to keep seeking God. To read and learn more. To continue to deepen that relationship.
I love to refer to God as "the lover of my soul". Most day's I can't imagine how anyone who has really seen my soul and who I am can love me, yet I am loved. Loved and accepted and encouraged. I also know love isn't just a feeling, it's a choice. Many times when I am reading stories of what God has done I don't love God - I hate God. Sodom and Gomorra? Even the battle of Jericho? What about the people who lived in that city? What about the babies of Bethlehem? It's complicated I know - sometimes it's about human free will... but sometimes it seems like it's about punishment and vengeance. I have this love for people - all people, not just Christians, not just "nice" people - but all people. I think if you get to know someone you can find redeeming qualities and pain that causes things that you don't like. But we are called to love our neighbors. Everyone.
Faith, Hope, and Love. I've seen that if I share love, I can give hope, and eventually help teach faith. But in that order. Love someone first. Not just the people who love you. Love all of God's children. and love God - even when it isn't easy.
That doesn't mean not to ask questions. Niether does it mean in this relationship I will always understand or get my way. But if God can love me with my flaws, I won't give up on loving God and trying to learn more and continue to seek.
In peace and love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
It's a retreat into another world - wonderful, colorful, and full of all kinds of emotion and adventure. I just finished reading Eragon, Eldest, and Brigsinger only to find out that their is a fourth book that concludes the story but isn't out yet!!!
I just started The Time Traveler's Wife. Oh my goodness... (happy sigh...) fabulous.
I was having a conversation with my grandmother (- who is also a reader) about what it is we love about books. I love the characters - how you can relate, or not, but exploring who they are as a person and why they choose to do what they do with the situations presented to them. Grandma loves the plot. Very different from the characters, the story itself not necessarily who is caught up in it. Finding that out is wonderful insight to my grandmother and what makes us different. =)
I love people. Young people - old people. People in general. Thank you God for giving me a love of your people. I think it's where most of my patience comes from. At the heart of the matter I do believe people are good, even though many times their actions are bad. Due to circumstances unknown people make a lot of choices that don't make sense or get frustrated, but when you get to know someone you learn all the wonderful things about them. Their likes and dislikes, how to encourage them or how to make them angry. The little things - it's what I love about people and in connection - reading about people.
Often quoted from the bible is the saying "We were created in God's image". People I get. God? Not so easy. I can't just go over to God's place and hang out, learn the things that make God happy, the way God likes a sandwich or just watch the general day to day life of what makes God - well, God. I want to know more - and all my questions point me to the bible. But it's not the same. It's like reading the diary of your best friend and wanting them to be there telling you about it instead.
Yet I was wonderfully warmed by the beginning of The Time Traveler's Wife. In a way, I felt like it related to my relationship with God. Sometimes I feel God's presence. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I feel like I know God is with me and where we are going and other times I am alone and lost. And often it happens abruptly. I pray for the strength to keep seeking God. To read and learn more. To continue to deepen that relationship.
I love to refer to God as "the lover of my soul". Most day's I can't imagine how anyone who has really seen my soul and who I am can love me, yet I am loved. Loved and accepted and encouraged. I also know love isn't just a feeling, it's a choice. Many times when I am reading stories of what God has done I don't love God - I hate God. Sodom and Gomorra? Even the battle of Jericho? What about the people who lived in that city? What about the babies of Bethlehem? It's complicated I know - sometimes it's about human free will... but sometimes it seems like it's about punishment and vengeance. I have this love for people - all people, not just Christians, not just "nice" people - but all people. I think if you get to know someone you can find redeeming qualities and pain that causes things that you don't like. But we are called to love our neighbors. Everyone.
Faith, Hope, and Love. I've seen that if I share love, I can give hope, and eventually help teach faith. But in that order. Love someone first. Not just the people who love you. Love all of God's children. and love God - even when it isn't easy.
That doesn't mean not to ask questions. Niether does it mean in this relationship I will always understand or get my way. But if God can love me with my flaws, I won't give up on loving God and trying to learn more and continue to seek.
In peace and love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Imagine a world...
Many people tell me I really only about 8 - or act like it many days. I love to play pretend and color! Even at work my favorite phrase starts with "Can we... " I love to rearrange the furniture and change things up to keep it new and fresh. Color, music, movement, and nothing for too long. Imagination is a huge part of me.
Yet I am not always stuck in my 8 year old world. None of us are. Something makes all of us mature and grow up. Sometimes we want it... sometimes we don't. People say the world ages us. We have all seen pictures of children who seem much older and wiser than their years. It's the tough situations in life like poverty, hunger, violence, fear, anger, and injustice that age us.
Yet there are many of us who haven't experienced that side of life. Imagine the college frat boy whose parents pay for college and spends more time partying than studying. Now imagine the college boy who's father walked out on his pregnant mother before he was born who is working 4 jobs to support himself and his family as he goes through college. Who is "older"? Now imagine a 20 something old boy who is in a refugee camp trying to protect his family and get as much education as possible while being displaced and fighting for his daily needs. Who is "older"?
It's often hard for me to connect to the stories and parables of Jesus. I wonder what kind of a world he lived in. Obviously not a world where he grew up going to public school and had his own personal computer to blog his thoughts out to the world and keep up with his friends on facebook. The stories he tells relates to his life and the lives of the people similar to him. The broad concepts relate to my life - struggling with money, struggling with sin, not wanting to love my neighbor. And these are the ways the church and our church leaders teach us today. Yet their are significant differences.
Social Justice is a concept many "religious" people grab onto and run with or run from. For some it is what the gospel is all about. For some it has nothing to do with the gospel and how dare you try to make it. I believe social justice is something Jesus was all about.
Love your neighbor. Not just the one who lives next door or upstairs, but everyone on the planet. Get to know people who are different than you. A different race, culture, gender, religion. Don't judge. Share your beliefs and your belongings. Take care of the widows, the orphans, and the sick. Not just by throwing some money in a plate or towards a charity. Go out and do it. It can and may change your life. That's what Jesus did. He didn't give all his money to the synagogue and work towards becoming the next "Nazareth's Carpenter of the Year". Jesus went out and walked among God's children and told them that first - they were loved. Second - they needed to follow him.
I read an amazing book (almost in one day!) by Barbara Kingsolver called "The Bean Trees". It's an amazing story of a young girl whose goal is to get through high school without getting pregnant and make something of herself somewhere far away from home. She ends up going from Kentucky to Arizona and along the way "inherits" a small child. Once in Tucson she starts making a life for herself working at a tire repair shop that just also happens to be a safe house for Central American refugees. In my eyes, it's a story of how Taylor Greer grows up.
My favorite line is during a conversation with a friend who happens to be a refugee from Guatemala who has experienced some awful things in his life. After hearing his story Taylor says "I hate to say it, but I really don't know. I can't even being to think about a world where people have to make choices like that." Her friend replies - "You live in that world."
I live in that world. We say it all the time, especially faced with something beyond words difficult, I can't imagine... what that would be like, or I can't imagine a world where that happens.
We don't have to imagine it. It's here. The question is what do we do about it. What does our christian faith move in us to do about it?
Give.
Be there.
Go out and love people.
Not just go out and preach to people about how Jesus saves. I mean, yes Jesus saves. But if I was a widow walking to the drug store wondering about how I'm going to afford my medication and you handed me a pamphlet about God I might curse at you. If you walked with me and became my friend, perhaps helped me with my paperwork for healthcare I would say "God Bless You" and go to church if you invited me.
If I was a poor young adult struggling to find steady work to pay the bills and wondering what is good in this world and you tried to tell me Jesus was good I would ask you if he was hiring.
Meet basic needs.
Preserve human dignity.
Don't do it through a middle man - go out and make a friend.
The best way I know to not get lost in the imaginative world is to experience the real one. Don't keep yourself in a pretty imaginative world were everyone has what they need. Go out and live, love, and share the love of God.
In peace,
your sister in Christ~
Erin
Yet I am not always stuck in my 8 year old world. None of us are. Something makes all of us mature and grow up. Sometimes we want it... sometimes we don't. People say the world ages us. We have all seen pictures of children who seem much older and wiser than their years. It's the tough situations in life like poverty, hunger, violence, fear, anger, and injustice that age us.
Yet there are many of us who haven't experienced that side of life. Imagine the college frat boy whose parents pay for college and spends more time partying than studying. Now imagine the college boy who's father walked out on his pregnant mother before he was born who is working 4 jobs to support himself and his family as he goes through college. Who is "older"? Now imagine a 20 something old boy who is in a refugee camp trying to protect his family and get as much education as possible while being displaced and fighting for his daily needs. Who is "older"?
It's often hard for me to connect to the stories and parables of Jesus. I wonder what kind of a world he lived in. Obviously not a world where he grew up going to public school and had his own personal computer to blog his thoughts out to the world and keep up with his friends on facebook. The stories he tells relates to his life and the lives of the people similar to him. The broad concepts relate to my life - struggling with money, struggling with sin, not wanting to love my neighbor. And these are the ways the church and our church leaders teach us today. Yet their are significant differences.
Social Justice is a concept many "religious" people grab onto and run with or run from. For some it is what the gospel is all about. For some it has nothing to do with the gospel and how dare you try to make it. I believe social justice is something Jesus was all about.
Love your neighbor. Not just the one who lives next door or upstairs, but everyone on the planet. Get to know people who are different than you. A different race, culture, gender, religion. Don't judge. Share your beliefs and your belongings. Take care of the widows, the orphans, and the sick. Not just by throwing some money in a plate or towards a charity. Go out and do it. It can and may change your life. That's what Jesus did. He didn't give all his money to the synagogue and work towards becoming the next "Nazareth's Carpenter of the Year". Jesus went out and walked among God's children and told them that first - they were loved. Second - they needed to follow him.
I read an amazing book (almost in one day!) by Barbara Kingsolver called "The Bean Trees". It's an amazing story of a young girl whose goal is to get through high school without getting pregnant and make something of herself somewhere far away from home. She ends up going from Kentucky to Arizona and along the way "inherits" a small child. Once in Tucson she starts making a life for herself working at a tire repair shop that just also happens to be a safe house for Central American refugees. In my eyes, it's a story of how Taylor Greer grows up.
My favorite line is during a conversation with a friend who happens to be a refugee from Guatemala who has experienced some awful things in his life. After hearing his story Taylor says "I hate to say it, but I really don't know. I can't even being to think about a world where people have to make choices like that." Her friend replies - "You live in that world."
I live in that world. We say it all the time, especially faced with something beyond words difficult, I can't imagine... what that would be like, or I can't imagine a world where that happens.
We don't have to imagine it. It's here. The question is what do we do about it. What does our christian faith move in us to do about it?
Give.
Be there.
Go out and love people.
Not just go out and preach to people about how Jesus saves. I mean, yes Jesus saves. But if I was a widow walking to the drug store wondering about how I'm going to afford my medication and you handed me a pamphlet about God I might curse at you. If you walked with me and became my friend, perhaps helped me with my paperwork for healthcare I would say "God Bless You" and go to church if you invited me.
If I was a poor young adult struggling to find steady work to pay the bills and wondering what is good in this world and you tried to tell me Jesus was good I would ask you if he was hiring.
Meet basic needs.
Preserve human dignity.
Don't do it through a middle man - go out and make a friend.
The best way I know to not get lost in the imaginative world is to experience the real one. Don't keep yourself in a pretty imaginative world were everyone has what they need. Go out and live, love, and share the love of God.
In peace,
your sister in Christ~
Erin
Friday, April 02, 2010
Undeserved death
Good Friday. The day we remember Jesus on the cross. Those few lines written in the gospels many years after the day, prophecies foretelling it, and the despair we feel because of it. A day when we leave church feeling unworthy, saddened, guilty, and quiet. We pray for mercy as even today more than 2000 years later we still do not abide by the teachings of this man.
We do not feed the hungry, clothe the naked, or love our neighbor. We ask for mercy... yet do not stray from our ways! Sigh. Church wake up!!!! Brother and sisters - sacrifice some of your comfort so others can live!!!!
Yes there are many ministries reaching out and doing wonderful things. I have written of the soup kitchen in my town, their are many ministries abroad, there are children's homes and foster care and welfare and food stamps. Today we do not talk about deserving. Jesus didn't deserve to die and he did it to save us. No one deserves to starve and Jesus would not have wondered if they have a job or work or why they need it. He would have loved and gave... he did love and give us everything.
I was very touched by the cross that sat in front of the alter area throughout worship today. At the end of the service the clergy present (it was ecumenical and there were 10+ clergy) picked up the cross and carried it through town to the stations of the cross. It was very moving to see the cross solemnly carried past me...
Throughout the service however I was reminded of a movie (The Boy in the Striped Pajamas) I had watched the night before with a friend. I have been wanting to watch it for a while now and it was very good. **Spoiler alert** (sorry but it's important to my blog, but if you want to watch the movie this is huge!!)
Bruno, an 8 year old son of a German soldier must leave all his friends as his father is transfered to the country to oversee a camp. Bruno is left alone and wants to explore but is forbidden to go behind the house. From his window he can see what he thinks is a farm, but all the farmers are wearing pajamas. Eventually he sneaks away and meets another 8 year old boy on the other side of the fence - wearing pajamas. They become friends, sharing food and company through the fence. One day Schmal (the other boy) shows up at Bruno's home to clean glasses (they needed little fingers) and the boys get caught when Bruno gives him some food. Bruno lies and Schmal gets beaten. Not long after Bruno's mother finds out what the smoke is distraught. She says this is not place for children and plans to leave. Hoping to make up his betrayal to his friend, Bruno agrees to help Schmal find his father who recently went missing. The day he is suppose to leave, Bruno digs a hole under the fence, puts on a pair of pajamas and goes into the camp only to be shuffled into the "showers". His parents discover he is missing moments after he is locked inside and the gas is killing him.
Good friday is all about a undeserved death. We sin, we disobey our maker - the lover of our souls. I sin, I continue to choose myself over others, I do not love my neighbor, I give in to my selfishness. Bruno was an innocent 8 year old child. I can't imagine how that father would feel. I think of him climbing through the bodies to hold his son and how he would have felt.
God could not and would not allow that to happen to us so he sent his son to take our guilt, our pain, and our punishment so that we may have life. Heaven. Love. That's the easter story. That's the passion. That's the story of the gospels. Life, not death.
We do not feed the hungry, clothe the naked, or love our neighbor. We ask for mercy... yet do not stray from our ways! Sigh. Church wake up!!!! Brother and sisters - sacrifice some of your comfort so others can live!!!!
Yes there are many ministries reaching out and doing wonderful things. I have written of the soup kitchen in my town, their are many ministries abroad, there are children's homes and foster care and welfare and food stamps. Today we do not talk about deserving. Jesus didn't deserve to die and he did it to save us. No one deserves to starve and Jesus would not have wondered if they have a job or work or why they need it. He would have loved and gave... he did love and give us everything.
Throughout the service however I was reminded of a movie (The Boy in the Striped Pajamas) I had watched the night before with a friend. I have been wanting to watch it for a while now and it was very good. **Spoiler alert** (sorry but it's important to my blog, but if you want to watch the movie this is huge!!)
Good friday is all about a undeserved death. We sin, we disobey our maker - the lover of our souls. I sin, I continue to choose myself over others, I do not love my neighbor, I give in to my selfishness. Bruno was an innocent 8 year old child. I can't imagine how that father would feel. I think of him climbing through the bodies to hold his son and how he would have felt.
God could not and would not allow that to happen to us so he sent his son to take our guilt, our pain, and our punishment so that we may have life. Heaven. Love. That's the easter story. That's the passion. That's the story of the gospels. Life, not death.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Christian
There are christians worldwide. But we as many other humans tend to form groups with others like us, people we are comfortable with.
But we must see past our groups, our denominations, our churches, OUR people. We must see our brothers and sisters across the world and join together to bring the kingdom of God on earth.
We must reach out and love each other.
Not judge each other and refuse to work together.
Not criticize and stand around to watch.
To reach out a hand in love and faith.
To keep our minds, hearts, and wallets open to those in need.
To change.
To love.
Radically love.
Everyone, everywhere
In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
Monday, February 22, 2010
I
Don't you just love it when you a reading a book and you completely agree with what the author is saying! Sometimes when I'm reading I feel like I'm learning, sometimes I am just being entertained by a good story, sometimes I get mad because I don't agree with the thoughts and ideas, occasionally however I completely agree!
As I am reading "Blue like jazz" the author comes to the conclusion that there is a problem with people. In christian terminology we refer to this as being a "broken" people. In life this represents our failures. I am consistently 5-20 minutes late. I get really excited and tend to interrupt others ALOT. Laundry and I sit in our own corners and stare - we'll see who wins. I can't seem to shake my loneliness sometimes. I am flawed; I am broken.
What's more though is that the world is broken. In an incredibly insightful conversation with a friend, the author was confronted with his own humanity. We are all humans and can do many things - some good, some horrific. It is not difficult to look around and see the terrible things happening in our world, and often by humans to others. "Are you capable of that (referring to murdering and raping people in the Congo)" - the authors friend asked. Rock, meet hard place. If I say no, I am saying that I am superior. Therefore I must say yes, sigh - yikes. The world is broken, and we are all involved and capable of breaking, and ... fixing?
Then the author comes to my favorite point in chapter 1 - I am the problem. I am the problem. I am selfish and self centered and hypocritical. It is too hard for me to actually follow through with doing anything else. I have to do what's good for me. I don't have a choice - I need this. Well at least I don't _______. I am the problem.
I have been dancing around this idea trying to grasp my own understanding for some time now. I am the problem in the world. I like that. Well, not that I want to be, but I love the honesty and fire it lights. There is a combination of responsibility, privilege, consumerism, and selfishness I am trying to grasp.
For example, I am hungry - so I go to the grocery store and I buy some bread, salami (my favorite), cheese, melon, and a bar of chocolate. I am privileged enough to go and buy those things that I like - even though some of them have traveled a long way to get to my plate here in Ohio. Do I have a responsibility to my brothers and sisters around the world? - perhaps instead of buying a Nestle or a Hershey's chocolate bar I can buy one that is fair trade (like coffee). Don't I have a responsibility to be an informed and good consumer? However that is complicated, difficult, and I just want my lunch. So salami sandwich (I have no idea about the quality of this meat and or the chemicals in it...) grill in my sandwich maker so I can have what I want.
Yes, I am the problem.
But I can help. It takes time, knowledge, and I will mess up. But I have to care. I have to know where my food, my clothes, my money goes to support. It is my responsibility. So -
Little things I can do:
- be a chocolate snob (thanks Molly McKay!) buy organic fairly traded chocolate - it's better!
- look for local markets for produce
- buy things in season so they don't have to be shipped to you across the planet (bananas in Feb in Ohio)
- know your butcher and where your meat comes from
- research brands and companies - clothing, shoes, stores
- be picky and willing to spend a little more to make a difference for someone you'll never know
- share good food/clothes/information with your friends
- buy local - shop at the little stores and boycott the box stores whenever possible
Gotta love Ghandi -
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
I am capable of atrocities. I am also capable of love.
In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
As I am reading "Blue like jazz" the author comes to the conclusion that there is a problem with people. In christian terminology we refer to this as being a "broken" people. In life this represents our failures. I am consistently 5-20 minutes late. I get really excited and tend to interrupt others ALOT. Laundry and I sit in our own corners and stare - we'll see who wins. I can't seem to shake my loneliness sometimes. I am flawed; I am broken.
What's more though is that the world is broken. In an incredibly insightful conversation with a friend, the author was confronted with his own humanity. We are all humans and can do many things - some good, some horrific. It is not difficult to look around and see the terrible things happening in our world, and often by humans to others. "Are you capable of that (referring to murdering and raping people in the Congo)" - the authors friend asked. Rock, meet hard place. If I say no, I am saying that I am superior. Therefore I must say yes, sigh - yikes. The world is broken, and we are all involved and capable of breaking, and ... fixing?
Then the author comes to my favorite point in chapter 1 - I am the problem. I am the problem. I am selfish and self centered and hypocritical. It is too hard for me to actually follow through with doing anything else. I have to do what's good for me. I don't have a choice - I need this. Well at least I don't _______. I am the problem.
I have been dancing around this idea trying to grasp my own understanding for some time now. I am the problem in the world. I like that. Well, not that I want to be, but I love the honesty and fire it lights. There is a combination of responsibility, privilege, consumerism, and selfishness I am trying to grasp.
For example, I am hungry - so I go to the grocery store and I buy some bread, salami (my favorite), cheese, melon, and a bar of chocolate. I am privileged enough to go and buy those things that I like - even though some of them have traveled a long way to get to my plate here in Ohio. Do I have a responsibility to my brothers and sisters around the world? - perhaps instead of buying a Nestle or a Hershey's chocolate bar I can buy one that is fair trade (like coffee). Don't I have a responsibility to be an informed and good consumer? However that is complicated, difficult, and I just want my lunch. So salami sandwich (I have no idea about the quality of this meat and or the chemicals in it...) grill in my sandwich maker so I can have what I want.
Yes, I am the problem.
But I can help. It takes time, knowledge, and I will mess up. But I have to care. I have to know where my food, my clothes, my money goes to support. It is my responsibility. So -
Little things I can do:
- be a chocolate snob (thanks Molly McKay!) buy organic fairly traded chocolate - it's better!
- look for local markets for produce
- buy things in season so they don't have to be shipped to you across the planet (bananas in Feb in Ohio)
- know your butcher and where your meat comes from
- research brands and companies - clothing, shoes, stores
- be picky and willing to spend a little more to make a difference for someone you'll never know
- share good food/clothes/information with your friends
- buy local - shop at the little stores and boycott the box stores whenever possible
Gotta love Ghandi -
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
I am capable of atrocities. I am also capable of love.
In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
"Cheap grace is the mortal enemy of our church. Our struggle today is for costly grace." Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
Tonight the power went our for several hours here at camp. It's been snowing like crazy for the past week or so and I think it's lovely. I made a snowman, shoveled a bit, and have fallen down a lot. =) In general I am loving it!
Losing power was an interesting experience however. Can't flush the toilet, turn on the faucet, cook anything, let alone have any lights. We lit a bunch of candles and I sat by the window for a long while reading.
I have been reading "Saints and Villains" a fictional account of the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and am loving it. When I begin to learn about a topic I want to understand it from as many sides as possible. I have been exposed to some of Bonhoeffers theology and have immensely enjoyed it. I too struggle with the idea of "cheap grace". The life of a disciple isn't easy and too often I let it be. I am content to know that God loves me and accept his gift of grace - without to much change on my part. While grace is a gift freely given to anyone who accepts God - after we are given that grace we are called to a life of discipleship. Not necessarily perfection (sorry John Wesley - I'm not sure about that one yet) but a life of serving and obeying God's will. To follow the law, but as Jesus came to teach us, being a disciple is so much more than simply following rules.
Discipleship is about relationships. It's about having a relationship with our creator. It's about having relationships with our brothers and sisters. It's about loving people, respecting people, and caring for people. Bringing about the kingdom of God here on earth and having the faith that it is not through our works that it will come about. But it will not come about without our efforts either. We must love. Our Lord and our neighbors. Bonhoeffer knew this and spoke out against the prejudices and racism of his day - in pre WWII Germany and told over and over again it wasn't his battle. They weren't after him. But he held strong to his faith and views on social justice. He believed if a Christian, or the church, doesn't speak out against injustice against anyone; they aren't really following Christ.
One of his close friends and colleagues Pastor Martin Niemoller wrote this poem:
In Germany they first came for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me —
and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Friends, please pray for my path of discipleship - for it is a difficult one for me to take. I will pray for yours. May we love everyone we meet and always reach out to the needy, the suffering, the oppressed for they are among us even here and now.
In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
Statues found at Westminster Abby
20th Century Saints
from left to right
Mother Elizabeth of Russia, Martin Luther King, Jr.
Oscar Romero, Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Tonight the power went our for several hours here at camp. It's been snowing like crazy for the past week or so and I think it's lovely. I made a snowman, shoveled a bit, and have fallen down a lot. =) In general I am loving it!
Losing power was an interesting experience however. Can't flush the toilet, turn on the faucet, cook anything, let alone have any lights. We lit a bunch of candles and I sat by the window for a long while reading.
I have been reading "Saints and Villains" a fictional account of the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and am loving it. When I begin to learn about a topic I want to understand it from as many sides as possible. I have been exposed to some of Bonhoeffers theology and have immensely enjoyed it. I too struggle with the idea of "cheap grace". The life of a disciple isn't easy and too often I let it be. I am content to know that God loves me and accept his gift of grace - without to much change on my part. While grace is a gift freely given to anyone who accepts God - after we are given that grace we are called to a life of discipleship. Not necessarily perfection (sorry John Wesley - I'm not sure about that one yet) but a life of serving and obeying God's will. To follow the law, but as Jesus came to teach us, being a disciple is so much more than simply following rules.
Discipleship is about relationships. It's about having a relationship with our creator. It's about having relationships with our brothers and sisters. It's about loving people, respecting people, and caring for people. Bringing about the kingdom of God here on earth and having the faith that it is not through our works that it will come about. But it will not come about without our efforts either. We must love. Our Lord and our neighbors. Bonhoeffer knew this and spoke out against the prejudices and racism of his day - in pre WWII Germany and told over and over again it wasn't his battle. They weren't after him. But he held strong to his faith and views on social justice. He believed if a Christian, or the church, doesn't speak out against injustice against anyone; they aren't really following Christ.
One of his close friends and colleagues Pastor Martin Niemoller wrote this poem:
In Germany they first came for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me —
and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Friends, please pray for my path of discipleship - for it is a difficult one for me to take. I will pray for yours. May we love everyone we meet and always reach out to the needy, the suffering, the oppressed for they are among us even here and now.
In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Love and Struggle
I am so filled with emotion, often I don't know how to make anything of myself!!
I am a thinker. I have tried to stop, or at least tone it down - with little to no success. And I am also a hopeless romantic and lover. I will love, to the best of my ability, everyone who crosses my path. =)
My personality is caring I suppose, but there are a few places when I feel completely myself. When I am singing, caring for another, teaching or learning. These tendencies have lead me to the church where I have met a God who has become the lover of my soul. This love is what keeps me going and gives me energy to go out and love others - it is a love that completes me. I have also fallen in love with the church, but it is not a perfect love. As I was reading "Saints and Villains" today - a fiction book about the like of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I read a passage about him falling in love with the church seemed to echo my own thoughts. I feel like I love the church like Hosea loved Gomer. I have fallen in love with the people of the church and what the church is about. To have the security that there is a whole group of people out there who will love me because I am a child of God. No other reason. That there is a group of people out there who are willing to give everything to serve. Yet sometimes I do not love what the church does, I still have this unexplainable love for the body of Christ.
Yet this love and knowledge leads to so much internal struggle for me. I suppose it is because I want everything to be good for everyone and the more I learn the more I know it's not so. The more I read some of the things people of the church say it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart to see the church pick and choose who they deem appropriate and who they disregard. It breaks my heart to see the dicotomy of the rich and the poor.
I don't want to preach, but somehow I feel like that is because what I have to say isn't going to be well received. I want to hang out with my friends and spend a carefree afternoon like any other young American. Like any other young American of privilege.
I was born to privilege. I see that now. I can't hate myself because of it or my family. I love the opportunities and education they gave to me. But I can't just sit around happily watching a movie, going to work, and hanging out with my friends. Not when I know so many of my brothers and sisters are starving in poverty, oppressed, and abused. The church can't either. The more we do, the more it breaks my heart.
But I don't know how to change, I know I must. I must leave everything and follow Christ. Right now I have committed myself to study. Study the scriptures, study the saints, study the needs of my world. But after I have studied (yes even seminary) I want to LIVE. I want to live among the rest of the world and care for them with my heart, my hands, my head, and my love.
But I don't think my calling is to serve alone. As I try to discern my calling I feel that there needs to be a connection to the American church of today. A way of helping people discover themselves, how to connect with others (for love is all about healthy relationships!!!), learn about their passion, and put them in an opportunity to live a life of service as well.
I am enjoying learning. I have a stack of library books so high it seems daunting yet so thrilling of the inspiration and enlightenment awaiting for me there. It's just that the stories found there do pull at my heart and make me want to get out of my comfortable house and do something about it!!! (even if it happened 100 + years ago...)
Dear Lord, lover of my soul, to one to already knows my every thought, every care, every burden - I pray for your children around the world. I pray that you wrap them in your arms and meet their every need. I pray that your children hear your gentle calling to be disciples and accept the difficulties and gifts that come along with that life. I pray for wisdom and patience as I find my way to a closer walk with you. Amen.
In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
I am a thinker. I have tried to stop, or at least tone it down - with little to no success. And I am also a hopeless romantic and lover. I will love, to the best of my ability, everyone who crosses my path. =)
My personality is caring I suppose, but there are a few places when I feel completely myself. When I am singing, caring for another, teaching or learning. These tendencies have lead me to the church where I have met a God who has become the lover of my soul. This love is what keeps me going and gives me energy to go out and love others - it is a love that completes me. I have also fallen in love with the church, but it is not a perfect love. As I was reading "Saints and Villains" today - a fiction book about the like of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I read a passage about him falling in love with the church seemed to echo my own thoughts. I feel like I love the church like Hosea loved Gomer. I have fallen in love with the people of the church and what the church is about. To have the security that there is a whole group of people out there who will love me because I am a child of God. No other reason. That there is a group of people out there who are willing to give everything to serve. Yet sometimes I do not love what the church does, I still have this unexplainable love for the body of Christ.
Yet this love and knowledge leads to so much internal struggle for me. I suppose it is because I want everything to be good for everyone and the more I learn the more I know it's not so. The more I read some of the things people of the church say it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart to see the church pick and choose who they deem appropriate and who they disregard. It breaks my heart to see the dicotomy of the rich and the poor.
I don't want to preach, but somehow I feel like that is because what I have to say isn't going to be well received. I want to hang out with my friends and spend a carefree afternoon like any other young American. Like any other young American of privilege.
I was born to privilege. I see that now. I can't hate myself because of it or my family. I love the opportunities and education they gave to me. But I can't just sit around happily watching a movie, going to work, and hanging out with my friends. Not when I know so many of my brothers and sisters are starving in poverty, oppressed, and abused. The church can't either. The more we do, the more it breaks my heart.
But I don't know how to change, I know I must. I must leave everything and follow Christ. Right now I have committed myself to study. Study the scriptures, study the saints, study the needs of my world. But after I have studied (yes even seminary) I want to LIVE. I want to live among the rest of the world and care for them with my heart, my hands, my head, and my love.
But I don't think my calling is to serve alone. As I try to discern my calling I feel that there needs to be a connection to the American church of today. A way of helping people discover themselves, how to connect with others (for love is all about healthy relationships!!!), learn about their passion, and put them in an opportunity to live a life of service as well.
I am enjoying learning. I have a stack of library books so high it seems daunting yet so thrilling of the inspiration and enlightenment awaiting for me there. It's just that the stories found there do pull at my heart and make me want to get out of my comfortable house and do something about it!!! (even if it happened 100 + years ago...)
Dear Lord, lover of my soul, to one to already knows my every thought, every care, every burden - I pray for your children around the world. I pray that you wrap them in your arms and meet their every need. I pray that your children hear your gentle calling to be disciples and accept the difficulties and gifts that come along with that life. I pray for wisdom and patience as I find my way to a closer walk with you. Amen.
In peace with love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Expectations and let downs
Being lonely is a part of life, right?
I had a good morning, really a great morning. I was invited to the sweethearts breakfast at church and I sat by several good friends. Then we had book club - we read Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet - which was amazing. Inspirational, emotional, historically accurate, and encouraging. Then between the library and the book store I got more books a few movies and a good day coming.
I'm excited for my shawl to be done and start another for our living history programs. I'd really like to get some costumes that fit ME and look good for work too. I'm working on a great tablecloth for my mom, I am almost done sewing, but I'd really like to hand quilt it. =)
So lots to do and learn and think about, but still I just got hit with a bout of sadness and loneliness. I have so many in my life that love me. My church here in Ohio is wonderful. My family has really begun to accept me for who I am. I have wonderful friends. But there are others in my life who have let me down from my original expectations - you know? I've been told I give a lot to those in my life. My time, my energy, my love. Without seeming to want anything in return... but I beg to be loved. A note, a hug, a comment, just walking with me - something to let me know that you see me here. Just trying to fulfill my calling and my purpose.
Sometimes I just wonder about having expectations for relationships. Is there anyway to avoid the hurt when things don't turn out the way you'd like? Is this just life? I have expectations that when I love others - hopefully some of them will love me back. I try to rest in the knowledge that the creator of the world loves me more than I can imagine and has more for me than I can ever know. Yet sometimes I find myself wishing for that human love. To have the physical touch of someone holding you.
Someday. God willing.
~We can not do great things. Only small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
For know, I will rejoice in who I am and the lover of my soul.
In peace and love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
I had a good morning, really a great morning. I was invited to the sweethearts breakfast at church and I sat by several good friends. Then we had book club - we read Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet - which was amazing. Inspirational, emotional, historically accurate, and encouraging. Then between the library and the book store I got more books a few movies and a good day coming.
I'm excited for my shawl to be done and start another for our living history programs. I'd really like to get some costumes that fit ME and look good for work too. I'm working on a great tablecloth for my mom, I am almost done sewing, but I'd really like to hand quilt it. =)
So lots to do and learn and think about, but still I just got hit with a bout of sadness and loneliness. I have so many in my life that love me. My church here in Ohio is wonderful. My family has really begun to accept me for who I am. I have wonderful friends. But there are others in my life who have let me down from my original expectations - you know? I've been told I give a lot to those in my life. My time, my energy, my love. Without seeming to want anything in return... but I beg to be loved. A note, a hug, a comment, just walking with me - something to let me know that you see me here. Just trying to fulfill my calling and my purpose.
Sometimes I just wonder about having expectations for relationships. Is there anyway to avoid the hurt when things don't turn out the way you'd like? Is this just life? I have expectations that when I love others - hopefully some of them will love me back. I try to rest in the knowledge that the creator of the world loves me more than I can imagine and has more for me than I can ever know. Yet sometimes I find myself wishing for that human love. To have the physical touch of someone holding you.
Someday. God willing.
~We can not do great things. Only small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
For know, I will rejoice in who I am and the lover of my soul.
In peace and love,
your sister in Christ~Erin
Friday, February 12, 2010
Secret Valentine...
This week at work we had a "secret valentine" exchange and it was so much fun!! I had lot of tips from co workers on fun ways that I could surprise my valentine - confetti all over the desk, in drawers - lots of decorations. But I also had a lot of other fun things - hershey kiss trial to the office, paper chains, window crayons (that was great!) and today the secretary and a friend of mine helped me blow up 30 balloons to cover the office and we taped them down! (so you can't just simply move them around. Then we took streamers and taped them across much of the doorway. =) It's just been such a blessing to me to scheme and plan - and I've gotten closer with staff I don't typically work with as I have gone sneaking around.
I am happy to announce that my secret valentine doesn't know it was me and maybe will never know...! Ha hahaha!
As Christians I feel that we are called to be joyful. On account of the gift of God's grace, we should be overflowing with happiness and love. There are days when I don't feel that, but many times I allow other things to get in my way.
I change you to find ways regularly to surprise someone secretly (maybe weekly/monthly/daily!). Be it a candy bar hidden in a desk to bringing over a meal to a young busy family, or sending a card or note. Appreciate those you have around you and not just to yourself, but let them know it too. God gives to us abundantly so that we can spread it around. It often occurs to us to serve those "in need" and go to areas where there is poverty and suffering. Our brothers and sisters in those places need our love for sure. But so do the brothers and sisters we live around, work around, and worship with. Get to know people you are with. Listen to them when they talk. Ask them questions. Love them.
"For they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes they'll know we are Christians by our love."
In peace with love,
your sister in Chris~Erin
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Kaj Munk
Great quote:
"What is, therefore, our task today? Shall I answer: "Faith, hope, and love"? That sounds beautiful. But I would say - courage. No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack today is not psychology or literature...what we lack is a holy rage - the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity. The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth...a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world. To rage against the ravaging of God's earth, and the destruction of God's world. To rage when little children must die of hunger, when the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries. To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction peace. To rage against complacency. To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God. And remember the signs of the Christian Church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the Fish... but never the chameleon." - Kaj Munk
Kaj Munk (1898-1944) was a Danish pastor and playwright killed by the Gestapo in 1944 for his opinions and preaching against the german invasion of Denmark. He was influenced highly by Kierkegaard, a famous philosopher - also Danish.
I love his (Munks) quote here about holy rage. I get so angry and disheartened today about poverty, hunger, human trafficking, war, terrorism, and just in general that wealthy christians justify their lifestyle without seemingly much of a care for anyone else. We have become like the Pharisees living IN the world and OF the world. We are so focused on what we deserve, what we want, and what we want. It's hard to say that we don't deserve happy lives in nice neighborhoods and food on the table. But doesn't everyone? Is it fair to want those things at the expense of others?
I say no.
I want to love recklessly and without abandon. Not to be concerned about the "bad" parts of town, but to find a need and do my best to fill it. To use my gifts and talents to help redistribute the worlds resources, expose privilege, and dance, sing, laugh, help folks reach out to one another and have meaningful relationships. I want to help the world remember that we have other options, and we can't just accept what we see and what we are given, we can schmear finger paint all over it and make it beautiful.
God Bless,
your sister in Christ~Erin
"What is, therefore, our task today? Shall I answer: "Faith, hope, and love"? That sounds beautiful. But I would say - courage. No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack today is not psychology or literature...what we lack is a holy rage - the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity. The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth...a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world. To rage against the ravaging of God's earth, and the destruction of God's world. To rage when little children must die of hunger, when the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries. To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction peace. To rage against complacency. To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God. And remember the signs of the Christian Church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the Fish... but never the chameleon." - Kaj Munk
Kaj Munk (1898-1944) was a Danish pastor and playwright killed by the Gestapo in 1944 for his opinions and preaching against the german invasion of Denmark. He was influenced highly by Kierkegaard, a famous philosopher - also Danish.
I love his (Munks) quote here about holy rage. I get so angry and disheartened today about poverty, hunger, human trafficking, war, terrorism, and just in general that wealthy christians justify their lifestyle without seemingly much of a care for anyone else. We have become like the Pharisees living IN the world and OF the world. We are so focused on what we deserve, what we want, and what we want. It's hard to say that we don't deserve happy lives in nice neighborhoods and food on the table. But doesn't everyone? Is it fair to want those things at the expense of others?
I say no.
I want to love recklessly and without abandon. Not to be concerned about the "bad" parts of town, but to find a need and do my best to fill it. To use my gifts and talents to help redistribute the worlds resources, expose privilege, and dance, sing, laugh, help folks reach out to one another and have meaningful relationships. I want to help the world remember that we have other options, and we can't just accept what we see and what we are given, we can schmear finger paint all over it and make it beautiful.
God Bless,
your sister in Christ~Erin
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Love
1 John 4:8
8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
John 13:34
34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
They will know we are christians by our LOVE. Our radical, life changing, unconditional love.
A love yes for our families, our friends, and our country - but it doesn't stop there.
The SAME love for our christian brothers and sisters all over the world, of every nationality, color, age, and creed.
The SAME love for our enemies, for after all we are ALL God's children, all children, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers.
That's why it's a radical love. We are called to love people who are different than us, who may want to cause us harm or may not.
As a christian I mourn for the lost of a life, for that of a soldier -
from my country or one killed by my country.
a victim of disaster,
terrorists, hurricanes, violence, tsunamis, or earthquakes regardless what country they lived in.
for children,
30,000 died today from hunger - and yesterday as well.
Will another 30,000 die tomorrow too?
A love yes for our families, our friends, and our country - but it doesn't stop there.
The SAME love for our christian brothers and sisters all over the world, of every nationality, color, age, and creed.
The SAME love for our enemies, for after all we are ALL God's children, all children, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers.
That's why it's a radical love. We are called to love people who are different than us, who may want to cause us harm or may not.
As a christian I mourn for the lost of a life, for that of a soldier -
from my country or one killed by my country.
a victim of disaster,
terrorists, hurricanes, violence, tsunamis, or earthquakes regardless what country they lived in.
for children,
30,000 died today from hunger - and yesterday as well.
Will another 30,000 die tomorrow too?
Jesus we have failed to follow your command, we have not loved our neighbor as ourself. We have not loved the children of the world. We have not accepted but ignored the hurting and the sick and the homeless. Give us sight to see the needs of our brothers and sisters and learn what it is to radically love one another. Amen.
Your sister in Christ~Erin
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Discipleship
I was reading "Irreversible Revolution" today by Shane Clayborne (which I highly recommend to anyone who has not read it) and found myself very challenged. As I have been reading Matthew there are several things that have stood out to me that Jesus says and my reaction is - "I don't understand!". Yet Shane says to those of us who are comfortable in the world - you DO understand, you just don't want to hear what Jesus is really saying.
This is true. I am grateful for the blessing of growing up among the world's wealthy (not the wealthy of the US, but truly within the wealthy of the world). I do not have to worry much about where my next meal will come from like 1 in 6 people in the world. I often consider myself poor, yet I am not 1 of 6 people in the world who earn 1.25 a day or less - the international poverty level. (Facts from Bread for the World).
Jesus calls me to be a disciple, but he has high standards. He is a revolutionary of his time, doing things most "respectable" folks would definitely call strange. But at the same time, he shows us that we can make a better world for all of God's children by following him and sharing the good news of God's love everywhere. His message is still radical today. These are some of the strange things he tells us to do in the last few chapters of Matthew I've been reading:
- Serve one another, don't strive to be first (23.11)
- Follow the law (commandments) but with mercy, faithfulness, and justice (23.23)
- Use your gifts, talents for the glory of God (25. 14-30)
- Real discipleship will grow fruit, if you do not grow - serve and love your neighbor, you will be among the goats, not the sheep (25. 31-46)
- Have faith and miraculous things will happen
- Be generous
- Do not judge others
- Divorce will not be honored unless there is unfaithfulness
- Care for the sick, the widowed, the orphaned, the poor, and the helpless
- Love.
In our happy comfortable middle & upper class faith we feel good about giving to the offering plate to serve those in need. We explain that when Jesus said "sell all your possessions and give it to the poor" he didn't really MEAN that. It's okay to be wealthy. God blesses those who work hard. Having 5 TV's in your house and multiple cars in your driveway is fine, as long as you go to church and try to do good.
But what if Jesus really did mean all those things the gospels say he said? What if to be a disciple I am really charged with going out and serving those in need with my obvious excess? What if all christians went out and really got to know the hurting? the homeless? the sick? the helpless? and loved and served them? What would our world look like?
One story particularly stayed with me. There was a group of homeless families who had taken up residence in an abandoned cathedral while on waiting lists for subsidized housing and the church officials weren't very happy about it. With the help of college students however they were able to continue living there and bring about attention to their needs (in Philadelphia, PA - p.s. that's needy people in the US). One day a church dropped off a box of things marked "for the homeless"- a box full of microwave popcorn. Microwave popcorn. Do you really think the homeless have the ability to heat it? Let alone the need for it? Around the same time the Mafia came over and brought bikes for each of the children. How can the church be the hands and feet of God if we can't really understand the need?
Jesus's message is strange and makes is uncomfortable. Many walked away from it. But it was radical and lifechanging. I don't know about you, but I want to be a part of that - it sounds wonderful.
So my first step - get deeper with my volunteering. There have been a lot of folks who have lost their jobs around here, and there is a lot of need. Second, continue teaching children to open their minds to the world and the difference they can make in it. Third, learn from people who have gone before me changing the world. Fourth, find my own Calcutta. Mother Teresa said "Calcutta's are everywhere if only we have the eyes to see. Find your Calcutta."
Lord, help me to grow in knowledge, experience, and wisdom to find the needs that you have prepared me to meet. Lead me to those who need your love in the way I can provide.
your sister in Christ~ Erin
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