Why we serve

I have so many thoughts in regards to the following passages:
Isaiah 58:6-10

⁶ "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
       to loose the chains of injustice
       and untie the cords of the yoke,
       to set the oppressed free
       and break every yoke?
 ⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
       and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
       when you see the naked, to clothe him,
       and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
 ⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
       and your healing will quickly appear;
       then your righteousness ^[a] will go before you,
       and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
 ⁹ Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
       you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
       "If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
       with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
 ¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
       and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
       then your light will rise in the darkness,
       and your night will become like the noonday.


and the ever popular Matthew 25: 41-46

⁴¹"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴²For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
 ⁴⁴"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
 ⁴⁵"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
 ⁴⁶"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."


There are many oppressed, hurting, poor, suffering, and hungry people out there.  1 out of every 6 people in the world goes hungry.  Unacceptable.  The bible specifically speaks to us about those who are less fortunate imploring those of us with more to give, to help, to serve.  My question is why?  For our own salvation such as the parable of Matthew 25 refers?  I thought that our salvation was from the grace of God and not tied to any of our actions.  


Just a random thought of mine.  Really I believe that as Christians we should do all we can to relieve the suffering of others and I live my life this way.  Our ministry is to make disciples for Christ and spread the good news of God's love.  To love others is to help them, especially if they are in need.  But like all things I need to have a clear understanding of why I do something.  


I serve because I want to spread God's love.  I know that there is nothing I can do to earn God's grace and that none of my actions can even come close to paying the debt for my salvation.  But the passage in Matthew makes me think twice about that.  I want to be a sheep and be saved.  I think we all do, but I don't serve the poor, the hungry, the sick, a stranger, or a prisoner because I want to be saved and I don't believe that serving others will earn our salvation.  So what do we make of the passage?  


Would love any insights.  I'm not saying don't serve the needy - I'm just asking what is the underlying purpose behind it, for isn't that the key?  

Blurry...

I love to read - to gain new ideas, new thoughts.  Yet I have many in my head already.  Beliefs that were instilled by my parents at a young age, things society has taught me, facts and conclusions I have reached on my own through experience and study.  However they always change and evolve.

I can't help it that I analyze and think.  Over the years I have come to accept it as the way I am "wired".  God gave me this mind, so rather that go crazy, I must write, talk, share.  Sometimes this is pleasant, and sometimes not.  But it is me, and I will go forth.

My head is currently so very blurry.  I have been blog surfing tonight and there are so many different thoughts I don't know where to go.  Have you ever experienced that?  When your beliefs are being questioned and you wonder if you got it wrong somewhere?  Like the bee and the flowers, are there parts of the picture out of focus for me?

With religion there is also so much emotion.  In church a few weeks ago we discussed that many christians are still eating proverbial "baby food".  A thought that I question is, have we as Christians, fallen away from our most basic beliefs?  Now I would not describe myself as conservative, but I would disagree with the statement that "all faiths lead to heaven".

I struggle with biblical statements such as Jesus saying "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth.  i did not come to bring peace, but a sword."  Matthew 10:34.  Yet Psalm 34:14 advises "Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it."  There is much I struggle with in the bible.  In the old testament God's wrath condemning so many or encouraging the genocide of a people.  In the new testament, Paul's teaching in Romans 2:6-7 "God will give to each person according to what he has done.  To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life."

Quite a different belief from my understanding that "God is love" from Paul in 1 John 4, 13-16.  "We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.  If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him".  

That is the faith I identify with.  Yet is it true?  Is it real?  Or is it just a piece of the puzzle with the rest blurry???  I understand that many are nervous about the fate, or path, they have seen the church take recently.  I don't know what is right.  I hope to gain more insight and knowledge through study, prayer, and reflection with God as well as with others.

Through all of it I hope to share the gospel as I understand it.  Jesus Christ came to earth as the son of God.  Fully human and fully divine (don't ask me!).  He preached and served all who would listen about the kingdom of God.  It was not just an easy path of love and happiness, but it brings eternal life and is for anyone who is willing to accept God.  We must all continue to study and pray to keep walking a Christian life.  And through it all we will never be alone, because the creator of the universe loves us.  Loves me.  Limited sight and knowledge and all.

"Dear Lord, please help me to see the world through your eyes.  To serve the needy, love justice, and worship you.  Help me to see evil and avoid following it's tempting ways.  Enlighten my mind with your wisdom concerning how to live a life you are proud of.  Keep me on your path, and strengthen me to fight those who may call me wrong.  Be with all those I know and have yet to meet who are hurting and suffering.  Hold them close and let them know that you will never abandon them.  Amen"

No challenge = no growth

This passage has always troubled me a bit -

Jeremiah 29

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.

Jeremiah has always been my favorite prophet for lots of reasons, and the beginning of this passage is very familiar and commercialized. However I always got tripped up on the "I will be found my you when you seek me with all your heart". It is pretty clear passage... so why, I ask myself, has it been so hard to find God? Am I not seeking hard enough?

Yet I look at the context - God wasn't talking to me, he was talking to the Jewish people who were upset at being exiled to Babylon. They just got kicked out of their holy land and are trying to understand why God would do this to them. Yet he promises - there is a plan. Live your lives, prosper, and trust in me! I am here and will be with you. But you have to go through this.

Now, I'm not going through an exile (as much as I tease friends and family for being out of the loop), however I have learned that unless I challenge myself to meet God - our relationship will not grow.

Here is me challenging myself to eat something new:

and... well... I lived!

but didn't really love it.

however, since I've gotten better at trying new foods.

Here is another picture (not me) trying something new at work:

This is a pamper pole, about 22 feet tall.

you climb that telephone pole, stand up on the platform (about the size of a medium pizza box)

and jump off towards the trapeze!! (ah!!)

p.s. not so easy with little legs!

but I challenged myself, and I did it.

I teach kids daily that there is no growth in your comfort zone. You have to step out into your challenge zone. I have been trying this more and more in my life. So why not with my faith?

In peace,

your sister in Christ~

Erin

Calm

Funny how moods can be. It can be so easy to be in a mood and stuck there. Sometimes I find myself almost getting caught up in other peoples moods - or at least watching their facial expressions as we are talking and trying to read how they are and all that. It's really obnoxious to me when I can't read someone's mood! It's just another way I check in on people.

Today I found myself down. Upset, jittery... just all over the place. So I took some time and went shopping. Didn't buy much, but people watched. I love watching happy people and seeing how different people react to things. The grocery store is really fun for that sometimes.

After church choir my entire mood was flipped upside down and I was just peachy. I love how music can do that to me. Singing particularly... and just something special about church choir. =)

The other thing that can really pull me up is meditation. Beginning with a mantra from Jesus calming his disciples "Be still my love, know that I am God".

Really it is the presence of my lord that calms me, and brings me peace. Ah.

your sister in Christ,

Erin

Calling

Next step: Send the district superintendent a statement of calling.

So here is draft 1~

Statement of Call to Ministry

My great uncle baptized me at the United Methodist church my mother grew up in where every wedding and baptism in our family has taken place for decades. Yet even before this God and the people of the United Methodist church seemed to have claimed me as their own.

I was born on December 2^nd, 1986 in Iron Mountain MI and the following Sunday a single rose was placed on an alter of a small United Methodist church in honor of me. My parents had visited the church once before. To this day we are not really sure who found out I had been born and bought the flower. This is the first of many times when the people of the United Methodist church have shown me God’s love.

My church family in Mayville has been a significant part of my spiritual formation. I have wonderful memories of Sunday school classes marching around the room singing about Zacheus. Praise Band and church choir rehearsals. Preaching to a full sanctuary with people standing for my classes’ confirmation. Leading midnight worship for youth lock-ins. And so many more. However, they have not only taught me bible stories, songs, and doctrine – they have truly shown me God’s love in every way. The people there have become family to me - role models, mentors, and life long friends. From the days where I needed to be watched as my mother was playing organ to supporting me know in my candidacy process.

My second year of confirmation class was an important turning point in my faith. Our interim pastor, the third pastor for our class, challenged us to not think of Jesus as a character in a story, but as someone who had a real influence on my life. This man was also the person who first introduced me to the conference by taking us to Jr. High Convo. By the end of the event I was on the design team for the next year, had backed into someone only to find my 1^st cousin, and had really begun to explore who God was actively in my life.

The years that followed were filled with local church and conference events that strengthened and challenged my faith. I have always been an extrovert as well as a leader and begun to feel a tugging at my heart to serve others through the church. With friends at my church we began a praise band and started having “Youth Sundays” when the youth did the entire service. I have always loved worship services and discovered I also loved leading worship. Many of the events I lead I focused on empowering and encouraging others to share their gifts and stories, which in turn was an even greater gift to me. In a youth discipleship class, my friends shared with me that they felt I have the spiritual gifts of administration, prophecy, teaching, and exhortation.

With the encouragement of a mentor I attended Exploration, an event for young people to assist in exploring their call, as well as Faith Passage, a 3 week summer academy and 3 weekend retreats through Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary. These experiences led me to working as a counselor at summer camps ministering to campers for 5 years. During my college years I attended UW- La Crosse and UW-Stevens Point for 2 years each. I began seeking a degree in Music Education and graduated with a degree in Youth Programming and Camp Management. At both of these colleges I participated in several campus ministries and local churches. Often I was involved in music ministries, children’s and youth ministries, as well as creating a place for college students to call home.

While I have been involved in many ministries for many years, the reason I do it never changes. God loves me and has showed it through the ministry of those in my local church and conference. I can never repay him for the grace and love he has shown me however one thing I can do is to share his love with others. When I am serving others is when I feel the closest to God. My heart cries to hear stories of those hurting, oppressed, or experiencing injustice. I am drawn to those who are helpless – especially the very young. God calls the church to serve those who are vulnerable and helpless. We are to care for the orphans and the widows. While churches offer sanctuary and renewal, we must never forget to walk outside of our buildings every day and serve the world in which we live. Not because they deserve it, but because God loves them just as he loves me.

Right now I don’t know exactly where God wants me. My passions include children and youth, worshiping God, the outdoors, music, adventure, peace, and people. I love meeting new people and learning their stories. My friends question my compassion and hospitality wondering how I do it. The answer is easy. I love them because God loves them. I will show that love in whatever it seems like they need from a card, dinner, a camping trip, or ball in the mail. It seems to me that Jesus always met people where they were. I strive to do the same while relying on God for my guide and my strength.

These are the reasons why I feel called to serve as a deacon in the United Methodist Church. I am looking forward to many years of ministry and a deeper connection with my God throughout the candidacy process. May God be with you and bless you in your ministry.

Peace

Your sister in Christ,

Erin Kruger

Fundamentals

First of all, I love hearing the pastor preach at my church here in Wilmington. He always says clever things which are simple and true. Today he shared a story from a magazine columnist. His wife and young daughter, 3, were in the car when a story came on about a boy who had killed his parents. The little girl asked unbelieving, "killed his parents?!?!" To which the mother quickly replied, "yes, he was a very naughty boy." Funny how much of a parents job is to teach children the fundamentals, the author writes. Wear clothes, no biting, and don't kill your parents.

There are also fundamentals of being a christian - worship God, love and serve others, and have faith in Jesus Christ. Of course there are more, and along the way they can get very complex. However I believe we get too wrapped up sometimes in the details and lose focus of the basics. I know I complicate things often. I can't help it always... it's how my mind works. For me, it is important to organize these thoughts and ideas in my mind as to importance.

This is the same reason why organizations have mission statements and visions. Goals and objectives. Churches and ministries have these too. Typically going out and making disciples or something of that.

Lots to think about...

How to remember to focus on the basics?

The best thing I've ever had suggested is to be in the word and praying every day.

God Bless

your sister in Christ,

~Erin

Success

I think and analyze alot... like alot alot, so here goes!  (warned you)

At work I get to take kids (or adults) roughly 35 + feet in the air and challenge themselves daily.  Before this experience we "front load" or have them think about goal setting, risk taking, challenging themselves, and supporting others.  Or course we have a ropes course contract and triple check all equipment too, but that's not as important.  

When participants are up there I love it, because I can be silly and fun as well as immediately helpful and always encouraging.  I yelled down at a participant today after telling me their name to make their favorite dinosaur noise or tell me if they were a crayola crayon what color would they be?  Directly followed by - what is your goal today?  

At the end of the day we talk about our goals and if we reached them, if we set many goals, and or if we changed them along the way.  Easy to say... easy to see on the course... harder to put into practice in normal life.  

Our success triangle has 3 parts, goal setting, positive risk taking, and support.  

My goal is to study more, blog more, and meditate more = basically improve my quite time.  I know a formula of how, but am not doing it.  When looking for support I look to some of the most important people in my life including my little sister.  She calls/texts/facebooks me for advice and support and much of what she is asking are things I'd like to post here.  

Tonight we watched "The Biggest Loser" a reality show about people who are overweight trying to lose the most.  That's another thing I honestly need to work on.  There can be so much somedays it's overwhelming.  All I can do is place my life in the Lord's hands AND not give up, but pray, set goals, and surround myself with support.  

I can do it.  I can be better.  In my spiritual life, physical life, musical life, and more.  Not without work and not on my own.  

Alone

There are many time of my life where I have felt alone and many times where I have been surrounded by others - family, friends, strangers.  It is a wonderful feeling for me to walk into a room of people I've never met and feel comfortable and loved.  I have often felt this at church conferences or sunday services.  

Yet the past few months have also been a time where I have felt very alone.  I try to remind myself often that there is nothing wrong with being single, and I can be very content being single.  Could it be the combination of cultural conditioning and societal expectations?  I just love the comments from my dad... "Are you dating anyone yet?  You're getting to the age where you should think about settling down."  

At 22, I have lots of life to live and there is so much I have to learn about myself first.  For awhile now I have had friends encouraging me to take time for myself.  Time for myself generally includes being with and/or doing something for someone else.  However I am slowly learning the peacefulness and beautifulness of time alone with God.  

Jesus spent lots of the time we know of serving others constantly.  A combination of serving, preaching, and teaching along with walking places he must have gotten tired.  Yet he often takes time alone to go and pray -    

Matthew 14:22
[ Walking on the Water ] As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.
Matthew 14:21-23 (in Context) Matthew 14 (Whole Chapter)

I love this image.  Yet it is so hard.  Hard to have a relationship with someone you can't see.  But amazing when the effort is there...

At the same time there are images in the bible which push me back to wishing I wasn't alone... 

 Ecclesiastes 9-12

^9-10 It's better to have a partner than go it alone. 
   Share the work, share the wealth. 
   And if one falls down, the other helps, 
   But if there's no one to help, tough! 

 ¹¹ Two in a bed warm each other. 
   Alone, you shiver all night. 

 ¹² By yourself you're unprotected. 
   With a friend you can face the worst. 
   Can you round up a third? 
   A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped.

So it can be difficult to read comforts like this and be happy being alone.  So for another inspirational role model I look to Mother Teresa. Spending most of her time serving the poor and dying in Calcutta must be a difficult task.  How does one do this without burning out?  What is her secret?  Spending daily alone time God, praying AND listening provided her with God's love and energy to serve the forgotten and inspire us all through her example and teachings.  

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart.  - Mother Teresa

*Dear Lord, help me to seek you with my whole heart and take pleasure in the time you have given me now to get to know you more.*  

your sister in Christ

~Erin

New Life

We normally talk about "New Life" in the spring around Easter yet there are lots of times of our lives when we really do experience new energy and such changes in our lives it really feels like a new life.  Monday I started my first "real" job - full time with health benefits!  Moving to Ohio and starting this job really has created a new life for me.  

Lets hope with these changes in my life I can really return to blogging.  The internet signal in my house is great it may come down to time.  So my new goal is four times a week.  More than half yet not quite everyday.  What can I do?  Well always rely on my favorite verse - 

"What does the Lord require of you - to show kindness, seek justice, and live humbly with your God."  - Micah 6:8

Inspired by Wesley

Soooo many things to do. In so many categories. I wish I didn't think about them all so much sometimes... and just did more of them. But I've been wishing that for a long time - don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.

Today I find myself inspired by John Wesley. We have a Wesley Society on campus and we're really trying to grow the group. The hardest part is to find words to describe why the heck we are called a Wesley Society and what we do. I grew up methodist. I have studied it quite and bit and I'm sure with seminary coming in the next few years sometime I will learn a whole lot more. How do I even begin to tell someone about it all?

As I was designing our wesley web page I was wondering how much to put on it. Our conference has come up with a format for young adult ministry I love.

A place to belong. A place to matter. A place to believe.

The United Methodist church has just published some new visions and goals with easy to remember numbers.

We the people of the United Methodist Church

1 - believe in making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world

We live by
2 kinds of holiness - Personal and Social

We follow
3 simple Rules
- Do no harm
- Do good
- Stay in love with God

We work in
4 areas of focus
- Developing leaders
- creating places for new people
- eliminating poverty
- improving health globally

We are the people of the United Methodist Church

We have all these slogans, bylines, and explanations. I like them, don't get me wrong. It's so hard to try and break down my faith and my religion into words and these help. And one thing that helps me is looking back to the words of John Wesley ( I know crazy methodist in me - I find inspiration in John Wesley similar to how I find inspiration from the bible...)

"Do all the go you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can."

That's going to have to find a place somewhere on the new website.

A sister along the journey
~Erin

Can't always be perfect

I decided a few months ago, with sufficent proding by a friend, to take up meditation. I have always envied people who could just sit in quiet and seem "out of it", then when I ask them what they are thinking about they honestly answer - nothing. To empty one's mind and sit in peace... how wonderful would that be?

And it has been.

I never thought I would get there. I had simply come to the conclusion (because I know everything about myself at the ripe old age of 22) that I would never be able to calm or quiet my mind and reach that sort of state. But for whatever reasons I decided to try.

I like to meditate with a mantra. I have been exploring new ways to meditate as well and have a few books on the subject along with the typical web searches. It always takes some time, but I have had some indescribable experiences. In particular, one experience when I was in California at a conference.

I woke up one morning just not feeling right. Kinda like I was getting sick, but whatever it was I was just all out of wack. Perhaps because I had been running around with boundless and what seemed to be unlimited energy at a fabulous conference on camping and meeting tons of people. Honestly - I had not taken much time for myself or much time to rest. I just get so excited sometimes and it feels like I can't get enough of the wonderful experiences I'm having, so I just keep going and cramming in as much as I can in a day.

So I woke up all wrong, skipped breakfast and bible study to meditate. I have been advised that sometimes meditation can seem like you a sleeping - and I get nervous that I just do fall asleep. But I had a vision. (or a dream?) With some interesting people in my life, but it was very vivid, insightful, and meaningful to me. But that's not the best part.

Normally after meditating, I feel as if I am cuddled in God's arms. As if God is saying to me, honey I'm here, rest a bit, I'll take care of you and love you for always, you can always come to me and I'll always be right here. It's exactly what I feel like I've been searching for and wanting for as long as I can remember. And struggling with where to get it - because it doesn't come from the places I feel like it should or want it to. But here I have found it.

That wasn't the feeling I got that day in California. When I was done God wasn't holding me, God was inside of me. I had a similar feeling of warmth and love, but it was not outside of my physical body - it was within. Now, I am often described as a "bubbly" person - overflowing with energy. After meditating that morning I was not just bubbly - I was glowing. I just felt love beaming out of every possible part of me. It was indescribable.

I have been meditation for about an hour every other day or so for a while now. Sometimes more often, sometimes less. I can feel it when I skip it and I miss it. I am not as centered, patient, happy, or on task. On days I meditate, sometimes I feel like I can save the world. Or at least the world's orphans.

Sadly however, life can't always be perfect. I have been trying to meditate. I need it, I'm alittle high strung and stressed out. I feel like my own stuff is going okay - I need to be more productive and timely, but there are other things going on that are out of my control. I know in my head that not everything will be wonderful all the time - and that I can't solve everyones problems. But I still feel bad and it still effects me. I care... I'm sorry? It matters to me. But I guess all I can do is pray and focus on the things I can effect.

So I've been trying to meditate to help myself become more centered again - and I have not been able to for over a week! I try and nothing. No quiet. No peace. No nothing. Frustration and muddleness. I am still a mess!!!

But God doesn't work on my schedule, so I will have to keep trying.

always,

a sister on the journey

~Erin

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
1 There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:

2 -8

A right time for birth and another for death,

A right time to plant and another to reap,

A right time to kill and another to heal,

A right time to destroy and another to construct,

A right time to cry and another to laugh,

A right time to lament and another to cheer,

A right time to make love and another to abstain,

A right time to embrace and another to part,

A right time to search and another to count your losses,

A right time to hold on and another to let go,

A right time to rip out and another to mend,

A right time to shut up and another to speak up,

A right time to love and another to hate,

A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

Spirituality Test

I love personality tests!  Crazy fun ones, detailed ones, whatever.  I find it fascinating that we are all SO different.  Sometimes I am struck by this just during a conversation - however there are some great things we can learn through personality tests.  

Tests I have taken (and remember)- 

Truecolors - I am GREEN.  Very green on my own, with more people (especially children) my blue comes out stronger and stronger.  Gold comes with kids too - begrudgingly.  

MyersBriggs - ENFP.  I am an extreme extravert.  Must have people!  Also very feeling and perceptive.  The intuition verses sensing... eh.  

Animals - I'm an otter!  Compared to a beaver, lion, or golden retriever.  

Take a personality test here:

http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/

Discussing these with friends, as we do them or with others, has been a great tool in understanding why we see things differently or do things differently.  The language that goes with each category has been extremely helpful for me to better understand myself and identify, manage for, and appreciate the differences and strengths of others.  

So - I found spirituality test!  

There are 4 categories you can fit into

Sage

Mystic

Prophet

Lover

Guess what I am.....!

Each time I have taken the questionnaire

I have always come out as a Prophet!

I love that we are all so different in every way - yet all wonderfully made.  Here's one of my favorite verses on the matter -

Psalm 139:14 (The Message)

 13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; 
      you formed me in my mother's womb. 
   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! 
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made! 
      I worship in adoration—what a creation! 
   You know me inside and out, 
      you know every bone in my body; 
   You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, 
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something. 
   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; 
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you, 
   The days of my life all prepared 
      before I'd even lived one day.

Here is where you can take it for yourself -

http://www.upperroom.org/methodx/thelife/test.asp

and here is the description about mine:

You are a Prophet, a crusader with a kingdom spirituality. You experience God best through serving others. You value competence and knowledge, and are good at leading and influencing others. Prophets are devoted to their causes, often becoming assertive and aggressive as you implement a vision of the world as God's kingdom on earth. You are our heroic change agents and we admire you for that. Single-minded and deeply focused, you aren't content until society has been transformed.

Prophets are the least represented spiritual type in the general population. You also are the hardest spiritual type to be around, mainly because you make the rest of us feel guilty for not having the same zeal for change that you do. We admire you for sacrificing your personal life for your hope of the kingdom realized on earth, but we are uncomfortable around martyrs.

You have a courageous and sturdy idealism that takes responsibility for change. But, your passion for transforming society can lead you to become impatient with congregations and their perceived lack of concern. You fit best in a hospitable, like-minded community that shares your vision.

Nevertheless, be careful not to become so involved in your cause that you neglect your inner life. Attend as much to your inner life as outer life. One will nourish the other.

Learn about other types: Sage | Prophet | Lover | Mystic

Famous Prophets:

Mother Teresa | Ralph Nader | John Calvin 
Lucy (Peanuts) | Rosa Parks | Dorothy Day 
Joan of Arc | Monica Geller | Martin Luther King, Jr. 
Jeremiah | Malcolm X | Ghandi 
Indigo Girls | Gandalf | Oprah Winfrey

~always 

your sister in the journey, Erin

Purpose

God has a purpose for each of our lives.  I don't know how it all works... I probably won't ever.  Yet, I am getting closer to finding mine?  or at least getting closer to having a real understanding of who I am.  

This has been a struggle for me in the past few years.  Funny thing is, not until I really prayed for God to give me a hunger for him did I really get a more solid picture of me.   

I am complicated.  This is not something I really have ever tried to hide, occasionally tried to change... but it's just a part of who I am.  Many have had a glimpse of this and reacted in a number of different ways.  

I love to care for others  

Help in every way that I can, 

hug someone who is hurting, 

celebrate the good things in life together

I love to surprise people

I love to give

I find joy in the little things (brown paper packages w/string!)

I am an extrovert to the core

I feed off of others

sure sometimes I can get exhausted...

stressed...

but the good weighs it out

it's like - I get sick on rollercoasters

especially if they go upside-down

I will NEED a garbage can...

so I don't really go on them

but occasionally - 

it's worth it

serving, giving, and being a part of most of the things I am

it's worth it to me

I do think about it all

the choices I make

the commitments I make

I weigh out my options 

and choose 

Chances for me to serve

be a shining example

share my gifts

are wonderful opportunities I feel blessed to have

I thank God for each one

be it for a friend

or for a stranger

The heart of who I am in not within me

I am loving, giving, and compassionate not because of myself

I am who I am because of what God has been to me

I do enjoy Stacie Orrinco's song-

"Don't look at me if you're looking for perfection, 

don't look at me I will only let you down.

I'll do my best to force you in the right direction, 

don't look at me - look at HIM."

"Sometimes I have the fear, that you will see the mirror

and get the thought that it's the main attraction"

Many people have made comments to me about my bubbliness and my compassion.  It is touching to have people be thankful for things I have said or done.  But I can not take the credit.  I love that God has given me a servant heart.  I only hope that through my actions and my love people can see and experience the love of God. 

Mark 12: 30-31

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. 31The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Sure it's not always that easy.  I slip.  I stumble.  I fall.  But that doesn't mean God can't use me.  And no matter how far I stray from God, I still find that I am being used.  There is a purpose for my life and while I am actually quite afraid of my calling... I also can't wait. 

~a sister on the journey, Erin

Prophetic?

Not alot has made it from my head lately to this blog. I wish I could be more reliable somedays. . . but it would take away from my "green" personality.

I sat in on an amazing session at a conference last week about Peace and resolving conflict. When talking about the healing process they discussed several steps. Many of which I think have more to do with learning who you are and being happy with it - or able to ask for help to become something else. I really liked this idea.

Steps in life:
1. Find your passion
2. Live it
3. Learn about others and their passions
4. Work together to make the world a better place

I'm sure I will work on this over the years. . . but really - find what you love to do and do it. Then encourage others to do the same. Enjoy life, and don't let others get you down.

My passion - serving others. Especially those who are disadvantaged, abused, or suffering from injustic. If you get to know me and my past (essential to getting to know me...) then you will understand why this is my passion.

How do I live it? I try to love every person I meet. Donate my time, energy, and what little money I have to good causes. I work with children trying to teach them to know themselves. No one can really be a "good person" without an understanding of who they are.

Others- I would like to try harder to really make an effort to learn about my friends passions in life. I feel like I am getting better at this.

When possible, it is an amazing thing to see multiple people working towards a shared passion. To be able to connect with another person or many others to really make a bigger and bigger difference in the world.

I LOVE the idea that this is the way to reduce conflict. In a single word to me it means - care. Care about yourself. Know yourself. Be confident with who you are and work towards your goals not just personally, but towards your passion. Then care about others. Learn their names. Their passions. Care about them as a person, not just a body who walked past you or you happen to run into. Look into their eyes, remember they have joys, struggles, family, and friends just like me. Ask honestly about how they are and listen to what they say. Even if you hate them for something they did, or for any other reason - remember they are another human being. As such they deserve to be treated as though they have something to offer the world. As an asset to the community. When everyone is given this kind of respect, reguardless of their past actions, we will have peace.

Prophetic? Idealistic?

don't agree?. . . eh, I still love you all the same.

Intertwined

So much always happens so fast. The summer is far gone and we are over halfway into the school semester. This week was a difficult week. Last weekend I went home to try to take care of some of my knee problems. But not today. Today I was reminded that there are better things on this earth.

Today we sang for the sunday school classes. Me and Zach and Grace with a guitar. They absolutely LOVED it! But the best part of it all was the teaching. What is the story about? What does it mean? How can we learn from it? So many things for all ages. . .

I love the song undignified. The idea of praising God with no barriers, with no other thoughts blocking the way is beautiful. Just plain, full out, personal, worship. Not something most of us are familiar with today. Being able to talk through the story with the kids and go crazy with them was wonderful. Once we were finished with the 2-5th graders we had about a 10 minute break before the little ones so we stopped in the nursery! Oh my did those kids have a blast too. The littlest ones weren't sure what to do or say - but you could tell they enjoyed it. It was heart warming and a lesson from them. Keep it simple. Remember how awesome God is and be thankful - good or bad - sing Hallelujahs.

By and By

I love the song "I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away. When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away". And this morning it is stuck in my head.

Admist all of the worries and all of the challenges in a day, a simple song like this reminds me of God's world. This is not a place I am destined to stay forever. One day I will fly home. More than half of the struggle of life can be changed with attitude. When I get stressed, frustrated, or upset if I look on the situation as a problem, it will be something I must solve or fix. Yet if I take the time to wrap my head around it as a challenge then it is no longer something I must struggle with, but work towards climbing over.

Smiles and laughter. Simple things to smile about every day. Enjoy the beautiful sunshine today. God Bless!

your sister in Christ~
Erin

Lost

There is just too much in my mind right now. I don't know how to feel, what to do, or what I want. There are too many paths to take I don't know how to get anywhere. There is just so much confusion and too much happening. I can't do it alone but I can't always have what I want either. There is not enough time to take every path and choices have to be made but what, and how?

I found this poem as well that i like. . .

God gave us this beautiful world and so many blessings that I often take off running with excitement towards all of the wonderful things to do. But i forget to take time to be with my Lord. To be thankful, to ask for guidence, to learn my path. I run until I can't see anything anymore and then i fall. Come to me Lord, come and forgive me ~ take me by the hand and open my eyes to your plans and your beauty. . .

Control

There are so many things to do in a day I find it difficult to handle it - yet I don't deal well with large periods of free time. I tend to go out and find something to get involved in and then I have too much to do later. Anyhow, with everything in life from doing homework, going to work, and balancing my checkbook with my social life on good days I feel as if I have some control over my life. Maybe this is decieving. But right now I feel like life is so far out of balance and there isn't much I can do to fix it. I am off to CWES (central wisconsin environmental station) tomorrow morning for 2 weeks of indepth field study, then home and back in a weekend before camp begins. June and the begining of July should be fine - just getting ready for Europe!

While I struggle with this not having control thing we go to see the new Narnia movie. Great film, granted it was alot of action and alittle much battle scenes for me. However, the message hit me hard. Peter, the oldest brother and high king, didn't appreciate having Prince Caspian around and the two struggled with who should lead and who's ideas they should follow. The main characters found themselves in a major jam and were trying to figure out what to do - it seemed obvious - they had to do something big to get the bad guys out of Narnia. Convinced that they could do it on their own, Peter leads the troops into a surprise battle that does not end well. Despite how hard they try, they really don't have control over the situation and trying harder isn't going to make it any better - really just worse. Luckily the littlest one, Lucy, remembers who they need to go when life's problems are bigger than they can handle.

With the little bits of control I have in my life - what to wear, what to do on the weekends, where to live, and many such things I feel like I am in control of my life. I find a place to live, work to earn money, and pay rent. Sometimes I get to prideful in how well I can make my life work. Especially when I just scrape by. This isn't what God wants for my life. He wants me to hand over all of my troubles to him and life my life entirely for him. Not just the parts I want - but control of all of me.

On days where I just can't do it anymore this seems the perfect solution. . . but what about when I'm doing good? Much harder. I feel like I'm entitled to some things. But how much better would my life be if I just prayed for help, for guidence, for God to lead me in my path? Things would be much smoother and not so questionable. Lord please help me remember who is really in control of this world - and where my place is next to you.

Peace,
Your sister in Christ~Erin

Bleeding Heart

Today my heart sinks as I read many of the commentaries from General Conference. I tend to be a person who wears my heart on my sleeve and right now it is bleeding from the hateful words thrown around on the blogosphere.

I will be honest - I believe that the God who created the world, you, me, and everything around us we see and don't see loves us unconditionally. UNCONDITIONALLY. And made us perfect just the way we are. Reguardless of color, nationality, economic status, health status, addictions, flaws, genders, and yes - sexual orientation. REGARDLESS.

This is a God too large for me to fully understand. This is a God without a gender. There is no he there is no she - God is outside of these boundries and boxes for humanity. But he made this creation and said it was good.

Sometimes I think we use words that we don't often consider the implications of. God is love. A very common verse many of us refer to. God's love is unconditional is another truth I can not imagine a christian disagreeing with. I feel however that many of my christian brothers and sisters today want to say that while God does love all of us we can only affirm those among us who fit into our groups. This is not unconditionally love. This is not true acceptance.

Never in a million years would I want everyone to share my views and opinions. God gave us all different minds for a reason. But I expect love back from my brothers and sisters who are of different mindsets than me. Love in the forms of respect, courtesy, honestly, and understanding. An understanding that while we may disagree neither of us has to be right or wrong. We don't have to leave the church and begin a new one. We don't have to accuse each other in our own denomination of being the anti-christ. We don't have to be enemies.

In my humble opinion Jesus taught a message of inclusion. He went to religious people and gatherings - he taught in the temple! Yet he also went and made friends with those who today would not be allowed in our churches. We have heard this again and again and I have seen improvement - however today there is not a spirit of love between us. Not a fire burning within us to go out and make disciples.

"Wesley believed that the living core of the Christian faith was revealed in Scripture, illumined by tradition, vivified in personal expereince, and confirmed by reason"

SCRIPTURE, TRADITION, EXPERIENCE, REASON - not one of these categories are easy answers. I don't want to be labeled a liberal, a fundatmentalist, or anything else. I don't want a watered down hipie Jesus hanging out and loving everyone.

I want a faith that challenges me to not only be a better person but to entirely rely on my God. I don't want a faith that makes me feel good about myself but a faith in which I can serve and make an impact in the lives of others. I don't want an easy formula of truth straight from the bible. I want a faith entangled in scripture, tradition, my experience, and my reason. A personal relationship with God in which I can live, breathe, and exist.

This is why I am United Methodist. Like any other religion it is not perfect, but the fellowship, group worship, and encouragement I recieve from my fellow methodists helps me grow in my faith. Some days it is easy, and others it is impossible, but everyday there is a hope that God is my rock and my salvation, comfort in the time of storm.

I can only hope that through the difficultness of life and legislation we as United Methodists can continue to grow in our faith, rely on God, and take on the challenge to unconditionally love.

Your sister in Christ~Erin

Coming Together

Today was our church Children's Musical "The Tale of Three Trees". As the director this has been my headache for the last 2 months. With very little attendance at rehearsals to miscommunication amoung the adult leaders- it has been a very difficult show. But today we did it for the congregation and it went GREAT!

We had 3 older children playing one of the trees and a few others taking leadership in key places. However this show was comprised of about 5 songs and not many of the children had much interest in singing.

With patience, work, and repetition we practiced and changed and added new children up to the end. Wednesday at rehersal we tried to put it together and it didn't go so well. However this morning - I'm not really sure what happened (for I was behind the alter and couldn't see), but God was with them and helped them share a great ministry story with the congregation.

Everyone seemed to love them and many people came and congratulated me and the kids. I breathe a great sigh of relief now. While I would do anything for the kids this was a rough road and I'm not to eager to do it again. However, I thank God for the places he has been able to use me at my local church and all of the work he has done to help these kids be in ministry.

"Through Christ anything is possible" Philippeans

your sister in Christ~Erin

Motivation

As I sit here contemplating my day there are so many thoughts rushing through my head. I have so much to do - so much to keep track of - so much going on. Yet for the past week or more I have lost all sense of motivation. Life has just been bogged down yet no matter what. . . I have always wanted to try. I'm not sure where that went?

However, yesterday I had a fantastic conversation with a couple of friends where I got to dream again. Remember why I was here at school. I want to make a difference in the world. I love kids- but I especially feel called to work with girls. So much happends in the mind of a girl, we all need a hand to hold as we are growing up. And with sharing all of those thoughts, my spark came back.

God has a funny way of walking with us. At times I almost feel as if he is never there - yet he throws a curveball in there every once and awhile just when we need it most. I had been neglecting my devotions and my spiritual life. Free will is a wonderful thing. . . but not very accountable. Yet no matter what I do I know that God will never leave me. And when I need it most in my life he will be there and reach me. Sometimes through an amazing conversation with friends and sometimes with challenges. But always something.

Again I find the joy in life and try to care (about classes too!). I find inspiration in one of my favorite flowers of spring . . . . an apple blossom!

With love and peace,

your sister in Christ - Erin

Struggle

I never have enough time, enough patience, enough something. I always want more. More time to study, more money for school, more more more. I struggle with being content with what god gave me. I love how this image shows a balance yet a struggle. If there is anything I can wish you, my friend, it is enough. . .


"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye.."

God Bless,

with love from your sister in Christ~Erin

Uncertain

There is so much to do yet. . . I lack modivation? Sigh, maybe - right now I would have to say my head is so very cloudy. It seems as if the world is just foggy in general. Like this picture:

So beautiful, yet so full of questions. Where to go next? Will I have to walk this path alone? What to do about the things that scare me? Is this MY path? This is a picture from a National Park in Germany - ironic, maybe I will walk this path on my trip this summer.

What do I do next? Walk right into this foggy path? Let things go the way they will? Wait? So much of my time is filled with questions and doubt - and drama. I want to find my way in the world. I don't want to wait for it to find me, yet their is so much uncertainty.

I never expected life to be easy - but I used to expect life to happen to me. I have some plans but I also like to be able to move with the flow. The control freak inside of me is freaking out. Do I have the courage to simply keep placing one foot in front of the other and look up at all that is around me? Maybe only time will tell. I wish a hand would reach out and we could go through the uncertainty together. There is always room for dreams and wishes - yet I will have to take them along with hope through this path today, alone.

Yet I take comfort in this song based on Isaiah 43:1 "Do not be afraid I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me, I will bring you home. I love you and you are mine."

Sometimes I get so caught up with my view of life that I forget to ask God to be involved. To hold my hand and show me the way. I pray someday I will get it.

God Bless,

your sister in Christ~Erin

Patience

My thoughts are overcroweded inside my head with frustrations, ideas, problems, and things to do. I have been sick lately and it's been really up and down sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I'm not. Lots going on with my life with school, working , planning summer and next school year, $, my family, and some hard things happening with some close friends. While all these things go through my head I must learn patience.


Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)


I must remember that God is in control and when trusted has a funny way of making things work out well. I feel sometimes like I have to plan everything, use my experience and skills to help things happen, and always be there doing the right thing. There are so many ideas of things I have always wanted for my life - so many thoughts about how I'd like to do things. Graduate. Get a real job - somewhere working with kids, maybe outside. . . maybe with a christian group? Find a great guy who loves me to have adventures with. So many plans yet little patience.

Classes will work out. Things will be good. However the more I try to do it on my own the more it flies away. I must learn to place my worries in God's hands and let them go. Here is a poem I have always liked. . . yet rarely really listened to :

Just for today: I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.

Just for today: I will be happy. This assume to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, *Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.*

Just for today: I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will Take my *luck* as it comes, and fit myself into it

Just for today:I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort. Thought and concentration.

Just for today: I will exercise my soul in three ways: it will do somebody a good turn and not get found out; if anybody know of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do-- just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt: they may be hurt but today I will not show it.

Just for today: I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low,be courteous,criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody else but myself.

Just for today: I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today: I will be un-afraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give back to me.

Your sister in Christ~ Erin

Expression

I have always been fond of words and sometimes very frustrated by words. I think both emotions come from my need to express myself. Everyone who knows me knows how much I like to chat, really I find alot of things very interesting and my favorite form of expression is linguistic. Often I will attempt to find just the right word for the moment- however when typing. . . spelling isn't my greatest strength. Anyhow, we took multiple intelligence tests today for one of my education classes and I scored highly linguistic and musical. If you can't use words to describe something, you can always color it with tone, rhythm, or pitch. I didn't score so well on Kinaesthetic or intrapersonal, and everything else was kinda in the middle.

I began to think more about expression and learning. It is facinating to think how well and how differently we all communicate. I found this fun picture this morning -



I think children can often be the easiest communicators, maybe not with words, but with feeling and expression. I also recieved a devotional this morning which encourages positive expressions and actions toward others.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
-Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)

WHEN our church's disaster-relief team arrived in a New Orleans neighborhood, the minister of the church there gave a brief overview of the area. Drive-by shootings occurred nightly; at least one person died each night. Since Hurricane Katrina, these incidents had diminished, but the team was advised to stay together and be aware of their surroundings. As we worked on one of the assigned houses, a car drove by and a group of local residents waved excitedly and yelled, "We love y'all!" This drive-by blessing was totally unexpected and a powerful moment for our team.

Many times since this incident, someone has given me a simple and sincere compliment that uplifted me and made my day brighter. Now, I make a conscious effort to find something good in others and mention it as I walk by them at work or as I pay at the store counter. Through these brief encounters, I hope to provide a "drive-by blessing" that can encourage others and lift them up.
Norma P. Marroquin (Texas, U.S.A.)

Many times we can ecourage others simply by our expression or a few kind words. Inflection is always something that I love as well - I think it is great to surprise someone by how you say "good morning" and not just the typical grumble we are all so used to. Meaning behind the words really connects expression with linguistics. It's all something interesting to think about and play with. . .

Hope you are staying warm in this negative degree weather! Think warm thoughts!

God Bless you and yours,
your sister in Christ~Erin

Christmas

Christmas time is here. . . Christmas time is here... if you don't know me very well I am singing along as I write. I LOVE CHRISTMAS! The music, the smiles, the lights, the cards, the time with family, everyone happy (well ... for at least part of the time, family get togethers can be interesting).

I wish you a very happy holiday season, not overly stressed with shopping or finals (colleges did not pick the greatest time for this...).

Remember to reflect. As I was helping my pusdo family put up things on their christmas tree we were reflecting who gave ornaments, the ones the kids made, and many many stories. Reflect on all of the blessings God has given you and your family. Enjoy the season, the magic, and the snow!

Smile, and remember how many of your family and friends love you.

God Bless you and yours,
your sister in christ always with love,
Erin